Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

police came took him away, what happens next?

(13 Posts)
findmesomecourage Sun 10-Jul-11 17:02:33

says it all really.

I'm a regular but have changed my name. Ive finally admitted to mysef that I'm a victim of domestic abuse and after many visits by the police over the years and the incidents spiralling to physical assault, he's gone for the final time.

I'm so scared, what happens now. I'm still at home (my house, its council) and I have 4 dc. Tax credits, benefits, work. Please someone help me find the courage not to ever take him back.

I had posted in chat but might nothave been best place to

HedleyLamarr Sun 10-Jul-11 17:05:41

Just stay strong. The lovely people here (and me) can help. Remembering the shit he put you through will help too. Good luck.

FabbyChic Sun 10-Jul-11 17:11:00

Stay strong please, you are far better than the treatment you have been subject to. Everyone deserves respect, to feel love and to be loved.

You can do this on your own, you don't need him.

garlicnutter Sun 10-Jul-11 17:21:39

Ring Womens Aid. Good luck.

HerHissyness Sun 10-Jul-11 17:24:36

Write down the last straw for you. Whether you write it here, or in a journal, doesn't matter, but hang onto it, refer to it whenever you wobble. Usually it's the funniest little things that keep you on the right track.

We're here, whenever you need us, we'll help you keep strong.

Keep posting.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1247062-Support-for-those-in-emotionally-abusive-relationships-2 pop in and see us if you need to, we'll sort you out! grin

buzzsore Sun 10-Jul-11 17:27:28

Well done on calling the police and on ending it. Get real-life support from your friends/family if you can, just telling people will help free you. Talk to Women's Aid. You can do this. smile

RickGhastley Sun 10-Jul-11 17:29:45

Please always remember that sending your husband away is not just the best thing for you but also for your 4 DC.

You are ensuring that they will now grow up in a loving and respectful environment and that is a great thing.

Well done and stay strong xx

neuroticmumof3 Sun 10-Jul-11 18:27:22

Well done for calling the police. Tomorrow you could see a solicitor and get an injunction to keep him away from you and if you have a joint tenancy you'll need an occupation order to keep him out of the house. You could also call your housing association and get them to change the locks so he can't let himself in. They should do this for free as there is domestic abuse and you have a crime reference number from calling the police. Google domestic abuse and the county you live in to see if there is an outreach service in your area. If there is they will offer you emotional and practical support to help you stay out of the relationship and rebuild your life. Hope things go well for you, keep posting.

FabbyChic Sun 10-Jul-11 18:34:32

When I had problems you could not have an injunction if he was going to court for ABH.

See a solicitor by all means, but I do think the injunction would be pointless if he has been knicked, he will be told to stay away from you and it would be a condition of his bail.

cathy44 Sun 10-Jul-11 18:43:03

good for you, you have done a very brave thing im sure it was very hard but remember it was for the best, good luck.

findmesomecourage Sun 10-Jul-11 20:49:45

no he's not on my tenancy though thankfully. I'm council will they still change the locks?

I've got so much to sort out tomorrow. I truly do not know where to start

yearningforthesun Sun 10-Jul-11 21:02:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeForMeIsFree Sun 10-Jul-11 22:23:46

Well done smile

If you give Womens Aid a call they will help you with everything. They will help you with everything needed to stay safe, such as getting the locks changed and any other advice you may need.

Stay strong, you have done a good thing.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now