Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Not seen my BF in a month and he phones up like nothing has happened??, wanting to see me!

(42 Posts)
Ambers123 Thu 07-Jul-11 17:15:22

Am I being unreasonable, my nearly ex BF has phoned up after being away for a week with his pals, saying he wants to see me , we have not seen each other in a month, and the last time I said I would come and see him he put me off, is he for real or what?

keynesian Thu 07-Jul-11 17:21:50

Depends why he wants to see you doesn't it? What have communications been like between you since you last met?

If he's a nearly ex-boyfriend he may want to tell you that you're now the ex girlfriend

or

he may have failed to cop off whilst away and be gagging for it!

What do you want?

Ambers123 Thu 07-Jul-11 17:26:28

My thoughts exactly!, things were not good between us, and he would notbe able to cop off as he was away sailing with an all male crew or am i being naive,i think he thinks everything is okay as he said he has brought me a present back , I hate confrontation , but need to tell him it is over .

buzzsore Thu 07-Jul-11 17:32:50

Just say 'we're through, byeeee'.

plupervert Thu 07-Jul-11 17:36:11

It's easier to say no over the phone than to go through with meeting, so if you want to keep your distance, it is best to do that from the distance he has already given you!

Ambers123 Thu 07-Jul-11 17:36:55

cant just say that would be cruel we did have 7 months sort of being together ,
mm maybe your right just need to pluck up the courage . thanks

Ambers123 Thu 07-Jul-11 17:38:48

YEP, plupervert you are absoultely right hit the nail on the head , sometimes I can not see what is staring me in the face ! thanks

plupervert Thu 07-Jul-11 17:40:25

Well, he blew you off without meeting, last time around.

(Responding to your first of two posts, by the way)

Ambers123 Thu 07-Jul-11 17:43:59

Yea to true with alot of excuses on being so busy and why he could not come and see me, selfish i thought at the time .

wotabouttheworkers Thu 07-Jul-11 21:35:44

Just wondering what he might want when he sees you... May be wrong but it may be something in a sack...the sack in fact. If you are happy to be used...

Ambers123 Fri 08-Jul-11 07:24:26

Yea the sack i know my feelings exactly just makes a girl feel great!
thanks for the input appreciate it.

buzzsore Fri 08-Jul-11 09:32:03

I don't see the cruelty in my suggestion smile. I don't think you owe this bloke an explanation or softening of the 'blow' - he's shown you no consideration and he's acting like blowing you off is nothing and not worth apology (why? because you don't matter? cos he's entitled to your time/energy/affection but you don't get any thought in return?) No point drawing it out, imo, think of it like ripping off a plaster.

He thinks he can just walk in and out of your life and you should be grateful for it. Even dumping by text is more than he deserves. grin

tethersend Fri 08-Jul-11 09:33:24

Err... he's not your BF.

ImperialBlether Fri 08-Jul-11 09:37:28

I think he wants a shag. If he wanted to finish with you, he'd do just as he has been doing, avoiding being with you.

You shouldn't act (with him) as though you think he's your boyfriend. He doesn't see himself like that.

Ambers123 Fri 08-Jul-11 18:31:59

Think your right he send text saying he had bought me a wee something on his holiday the first day , and how he wished i was with him,and not heard a dickie bird since then, yep he does have a cheek thinking he can swan in and out of my life , he is going be so dumped when and if he phones me.

Lizzabadger Fri 08-Jul-11 20:15:37

I wouldn't bother with him any more. Ignore the calls and textsand move on.

TheOriginalFAB Fri 08-Jul-11 20:18:51

Why wait for him?

Ambers123 Fri 08-Jul-11 21:23:31

You think? suppose guess i just think it is not polite to ignore someone , but hey that is me ,difficult to change , thanks anyway.

2rebecca Fri 08-Jul-11 21:31:55

I like proper endings so would phone him and tell him that things aren't working and you are finished. The holiday sailing with his mates sounds irrelevent though. If my husband was away sailing I wouldn't expect him to phone me as mobile reception on boats is rubbish.
I presume the general relationship is poor as if I liked a bloke the fact that on 1 occasion he'd been too busy to see me and he'd then been away sailing would be irrelevent.
I like men who aren't dependant on me and have hobbies and friends. A clingy bloke constantly fussing over me would be far more likely to get dumped.

Wecanfixit Fri 08-Jul-11 21:42:40

Yep i agree, and not worried bout him having hobbies , delighted , he has just gone from seeing me every other weekend since i challenged the fact he was keeping me hidden from his family and friends!, and he also wanted me to buy a house near him then we could each have our own places, sounds ideal to some but frankly i thought lack of commitment ,and why should i give up my work my house and friends to be close to him when he is giving up nothing too much i say too much.I am independent and have been for 20 years and never relied on someone to take care of me , but jeeze alit commitment would have been something!

Lizzabadger Fri 08-Jul-11 22:51:12

You have a couple of other threads about this guy, don't you.

Before he went away, did you actually have an agreement that you were a couple? If so, then dump him. If not, then actually he hasn't done anything wrong.

Wecanfixit Sat 09-Jul-11 14:38:15

Yes I do why?

Wecanfixit Sat 09-Jul-11 14:39:49

erm, we have been talking about living together so it has been quite serious so i think this qualifies us to be a couple , i have written other posts about this relationship if you car to read them.

2rebecca Sat 09-Jul-11 15:27:32

Changing your name half way through a thread isn't helpful.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now