How do i stop feeling so jealous??

[Vix1980]

This is going to sound mad but im actually jealous of my cousin... She has just announced she is 10 week pregnant where as i had a recent miscarriage, we havent spoke in nearly 10 years since she argued with my nan, and has only recently got back in touch with her, Im my nans main carer and dont mind 1 bit that she goes round now and again to keep her company so its not jealousy in that way, more the fact that shes pregnant. I know for a fact her husband didnt want any more children just yet nor did he want to have to move to a bigger house, both of which he is now being forced to do because of her broodiness.

I keep wishing something bad would happen to her, im not a nasty person but for some reason this has really riled me, i know it seems obvious why but its more the fact that growing up we were each played off against each other through my nan, now i get to hear all the stories again where ive been really happy the past 10 years having nothing to do with that whole side of the family, her dad has also made a comeback but nobody apart from my nan (his mum) speaks to him, theirs a lot to go into about their family and most of it isnt good, but i really wish shed never got back in touch, as i look after my nan i spend a lot of time with her and she always fills me in on what there doing, ive tried ignoring her when she talks about them, told her im not interested at all yet she still tries to tlk to me about them, the latest being how she got an amazing pram for such a good price, i dont know who im more annoyed at my cousin for coming back or my nan for not shutting up, i just know i hate feeling like this!

[moshchops]

I hope I have understood your post!
Firstly, your Nan is just glad that she has her granddaughter and son back in her life. But, your nan deserves her family around her. As for your nan whittering on about your cousins life, close your ears and let it wash over you. Easier said than done. AND always remember that you can look yourself in the mirror and know that you always had a good relationship with your nan and did the best for her you could.
Its harsh isn't it that your cousin is pregnant when you really want to be, how do you know that her husband has rolled over about the house and baby, for all you know your cousin might be lying about how good her husband is being about this, he might be screaming and shouting about from 5pm 'till 8am in the morning. Your time will come. and breathe.

[Vix1980]

I know i'm sorry i did waffle on a bit!, I know shes glad to have them back in her life, the thing is the rest of the family knows what he is like, to put it bluntly my uncle is a bully who has never worked a day in his life, yet i remember nights of hiding in my room while he pelted our house with bricks and fireworks, through pure jealousy of my mum for having a house of her own - i know it sounds strange but this is the mentality he has...

My cousin has 2 other boys, who have visited approx twice in the past 2 years, yet this is all i here, i guess i just really resent them coming as I'm the one who gets to clean up for her, take her shopping and for days out but i get no thanks, all i here is of this wonderful side of the family who can do no wrong, its so annoying.

I know her husband has just given in cos hes so placid, we have a mutual friend who has told me it wasn't his idea to try for another baby so soon as it meant a lot of upheaval for the other 2 boys and kind of got forced into the idea, as she came off the pill without telling him which is just deceptive for your wife to make such a decision like that.

I think im more frustrated that im the 1 doing everything for her, now that's not good enough as she has someone more interesting come along who is now pregnant and gives her something new to talk about, i just feel like screaming and can already feel myself backing away from my nan for my own sanity!

[buzzsore]

It's unfortunate, but the carer is pretty much always the one who is taken for granted.

I can totally understand your jealousy over the pregnancy as well, but you know yourself it's not exactly rational .

I think perhaps try to distract your nan from talking about the cousin by getting her onto other pet subjects? Or go off and make a cup of tea to get a breather from it.

Good luck on ttc.

[Vix1980]

Hi and thanks, i know i'm being totally stupid and petty, just needed to let of steam and id rather do it on here than at my 80 year old nan! 1 good thing i can cling to is the fact she tells them all of my accomplishments so they must be as bored as i am! ha ha