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I think my step dad is having a relationship with another woman

(6 Posts)
theanimalswentintwobytwo Mon 04-Jul-11 21:10:01

I know I shouldn't have but I was trying to reassure myself that he wasn't. So...I checked his phone, please don't flame me

I found lots of messages from another woman, sending hugs and kisses, wishing she was with him now. He was sending kisses back.

They used to work together, so It could all me innocent, but...

My mum and step dad met at work, they were both in relationships at the time and THEY started an affair. So I know that he has been unfaithful before.

I'm not sure what to do confused

Please help

greycircles Mon 04-Jul-11 21:12:25

Tell your mum. No other options IMO.

theanimalswentintwobytwo Mon 04-Jul-11 21:19:01

but what if I'm wrong and It is just playful nonsense?? The lady is Spanish/South American so could it part of the culture?

I know a couple people who work/worked at the same place, should I ask them first??

keynesian Mon 04-Jul-11 21:22:56

No, don't involve other workmates. Your role now is to be supportive of your Mum and her resulting decisions, your role is not to interfere any further!

Tell your Mum what you saw and why you looked. Then it's for her to act or not on what you've said and you need to accept whatever she decides.

2rebecca Mon 04-Jul-11 21:32:01

If it was your dad I would tackle him about it, as it is your stepdad then your loyalty is to your mum not him so I would tell her what you saw and let her sort it out with him and decide if it's the woman's nationality etc. I wouldn't let my husband off the hook for sending kisses to a woman because she was foreign.
Your mum will not be impressed that you checked his phone though and will probably be unhappy with you for a while. You can't ignore this though.
I would keep out of their lives for a bit though now until your mum wants it clear she wants you involved again as if you spotted your stepfather is having an affair and your mum didn't you sound a bit overenmeshed in their lives.

theanimalswentintwobytwo Mon 04-Jul-11 21:36:41

2rebecca I can't keep out of their lives, I live with them and my DS.

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