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Post baby bodies and new partners...

(13 Posts)
dumdedoodah Mon 04-Jul-11 16:36:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooBooGlass Mon 04-Jul-11 16:42:33

I have the same thing. I have a massive hang up about it, but he isn't bothered by it. I don't really like him touching it, and tbh he respects that.

piranhamorgana Mon 04-Jul-11 18:26:09

I have had 5 dc,the youngest is 14 mo.The appearance of my tummy when naked will never be a source of pride to me...
However,I have recently got closer to a lovely man.We are both delighted to have found someone we like enough to want to get intimate with .... with so many potential complications and anxieties,the state of my tummy is really the least of anything when it comes to it!

Could your tummy be giving you a focus for the natural worries and fears in having a close relationship with someone lovely?

I am sure when you are actually close enough for him to see/feel your tummy,it will be the last thing on your mind.Try to relax and be proud of yourself.
Enjoy.

dumdedoodah Mon 04-Jul-11 19:11:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ganshee Mon 04-Jul-11 22:12:40

A male perspective here. He will have more important things to concentrate on than your belly - trust me.

He's not with you for you tummy and I'm sure he wont find it offputting in any way or form.

The best bit of advice is what piranhamorgana said - Relax.

LCarbury Mon 04-Jul-11 22:18:05

There are loads of nice knickers that will cover the bit you don't like, you can wait until you are under the covers to whip them off, I'm sure he won't mind!!!!

Ganshee Mon 04-Jul-11 22:20:52

Yeah knickers are good. Also find a position that you feel comfortable with. I'm sure I had a copy of the karma sutra lying around somewhere - it's probably a bit dusty at the minute though.

Elefant1 Tue 05-Jul-11 01:12:49

I was having the same worries as you a couple of weeks ago- all I will say is that it was not a problem grin

kaluki Tue 05-Jul-11 11:37:38

I have the same issue with my 'muffin top', so I do sympathise.
But it is part of you, and it is like that because you have had a child, which is what your body was designed to do. Be proud of it, it held your dc for 9 months!!
He probably won't even notice your tummy anyway - he'll be too busy elsewhere!!!

Bonsoir Tue 05-Jul-11 11:43:21

My tummy is the only bit of me that suffered from pregnancy. It is fine in clothes and in a swimming costume, or lying flat on my back or even on my side, but not pretty when I am on all fours blush or leaning over.

I wish I had gained less weight in pregnancy but even so I expect my tummy would have suffered. I think they almost always do.

OP - it sounds as if you have a great body but that you don't like your tummy. Maybe you should think about having a tummy tuck? You could even broach the topic with your new man - it might make you feel better and more confident with him if you can tell him about your hang-ups and discuss solutions? And it will be a great way of testing his ability to take on board your hang-ups and let you discuss something intimate with him!

UnhappyLizzie Tue 05-Jul-11 22:45:31

I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't worry about it. He won't be bothered and your not bothering and seeming relaxed about it (even if you're not) will be much sexier than being self conscious.

Tummy tuck might be an idea though, if it's the only bit of you that you hate. A friend of mine had one, said it was fantastic and gave her so much confidence.

Let's face it if men were the ones wandering around with bodies damaged by giving birth the operating theatres would be open 24 hours! I had two massive babies and a badly stitched episiotomy after no.2. I felt damaged and had an operation privately to sort it all out. It was so worth it.

Have fun!

heleninahandcart Tue 05-Jul-11 23:18:04

He won't be looking at your belly. He will be wondering how to please you, hoping he is good enough for you. I disagree your body is 'damaged', you are a woman you have given birth, its amazing and you can take pride.

Meanwhile, reality being that you are a little shy, by all means get a lovely cami top or something if that gives you confidence. It won't be on for long.

kaluki Thu 07-Jul-11 11:25:00

Also don't assume that he will be super confident either. He will probably be worried about whether he is 'big enough', whether he will be able to please you, or his beer belly or whatever.
Men aren't immune to these insecurities!!

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