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How can I be a good SIL to my pregnany SIL?

(2 Posts)
yellowflowers Sun 03-Jul-11 22:20:16

My SIL is pregannt. I like her and think she likes me though we are quite different and I'm not sure we'd be friends if we met under normal circumstances. I have a baby and she is pregnant. To start with I just said congrats and was just pleased for her and hung back with advice because I didn't want to be patronising (I am yougner) or know it all having done the baby thing before her, but she has said don't be silly and that she really wants advice and appreciates my support.

So... how can I do this? What do you think is the right level of advice. What is too much advice? What is too little? How often should I call to see how she is? How many of our hand me downs should I foist on her? Generally how can I be nice but not overbearing, supportive but not patronising?

She has plenty of friends, but not loads with babies. We live about an hour from each other.

buzzsore Sun 03-Jul-11 23:17:02

I'd be careful about giving advice - best bet is to listen first and if she asks your opinion or advice, then give it. And say something like "what worked for me, was ..." rather than you should do ...". grin

She may say she wants your advice generally but I'd stick to giving it on specific questions she asks you grin. Of course if you can see something serious she might be missing, like you thought she might be slipping into PND, then bring it up as something to think about, but I'd see my role primarily as listening and offering the occasional suggestion if it would be welcomed.

Just keep it casual and say you don't mind if she doesn't want any more hand-me-downs, but you've got this this and this if she could use them.

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