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Suspect Partner is out on date tonight

(11 Posts)
soulkid Sat 02-Jul-11 18:54:37

Hi everyone

I posted my story yesterday in this thread: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1249895-Is-this-what-splitting-up-forever-is-or-is-there-hope-Epic-tale

My partner wanted to look after my son today, because I had other plans for him (his friend over for most of the day), I offered to let my partner see him this evening. However he said he had "an arrangement" which he obviously is prioritising over seeing his son and didn't want to re-arrange. My gut tells me it is a date of some sort, as if it were a friend I'm sure he would have said "I'm seeing Dave or Rob or Mike".
We have recently separated - whether permanently or temporarily is I think still to play for. I still think what we're going through is part of the healing/recovery process following my mistake some time ago.

I just don't really know how to get through the evening.

OnlyWantsOne Sat 02-Jul-11 18:56:20

Go to bed and forget him. If he's seriously out on a date then really it finalises your relationship.

smile crap some times x

coccyx Sat 02-Jul-11 18:58:23

well if you are separated i guess he can go out on a date

soulkid Sat 02-Jul-11 19:23:39

He said he would tell me if he started seeing other people. I guess I am still hanging on to the last bit of hope I have, I love him with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with him and my son.

Triphid Sat 02-Jul-11 19:24:23

I don't agree Coccyx. Just because you're separated, doesn't necessarily mean you're free to date / available. It does largely depend on each circumstance, but the OP did say that - re the separation - 'whether permanently or temporarily is I think still to play for.'

In the OP's position, I'd find it incredibly hard suspecting that there was summat going on.

soulkid, I don't know any background here (specifically re "the mistake") and I'm not sure what to suggest other than staying around here for a bit of company this evening.

soulkid Sat 02-Jul-11 19:25:11

Forgot to mention - 8 weeks ago we were planning on getting married, he said it was important to him to do that; a little before that he said he wanted more children. Its kind of hard to believe that you can flip those kind of feelings away altogether after so much history.

DaisyDaresYOU Sat 02-Jul-11 20:27:44

It all depends what the mistake was tbh.If it was an affair I can see why the ex didn't tell op about his current situation especially if they have split.No offence op i'm not trying to be mean.

DaisyDaresYOU Sat 02-Jul-11 20:30:45

He should see his son when he supposed to though

DaisyDaresYOU Sat 02-Jul-11 21:04:04

I just found your other thread.It really does sound like his tried to forgive you but can't.I think theres no going back on this one.I think it takes a very strong person to forgive an affair.I think my dp had one years ago.I can't be sure but if it ever came out I could never forgive him but i'm not a strong person.

DaisyDaresYOU Sat 02-Jul-11 21:25:00

Oh should add I don't think people who can't forgive are weak.Lol i'd be insulting my mum

soulkid Sat 02-Jul-11 21:32:38

Thanks, he has actually just called to speak with our son, but we also had a chat. I asked him straight out just calmly if he was going out on a date this eve, he said no and that he was with his friend. I asked him if he'd let me know if he did start dating other people again, and he said he would. I just let him know I miss him.
@ Daisy Because he tried for so long, I feel as though thats one of the reasons I shouldn't give up now and just keep strong, just in case there is still hope and a chance to turn it round.

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