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feel sick..

(10 Posts)
fizzfiend Sat 02-Jul-11 02:56:35

can't sleep...DH and I getting divorced...happy about that...we are so different. He's a boring git, but a nice guy. But not sure I can say that after what I found on the computer.

Downloads when kids and I were on holiday last summer. I feel so sick and disgusted. Basically chicks with dicks. Kind of explains why we never had sex..I am so ready to divorce but this has really thrown me. Feeling like he's a sick bastard...I preferred it when I thought he was asexual.

I know I am being a generalising, prejudiced arse, but now I feel like he is a pervert. And I know I am being stupid but am concerned about DD.

Please tell me I am overreacting. OH god though...I would have been so cool if he had just been gay. But OMG.

fizzfiend Sat 02-Jul-11 03:57:01

...and should I bring this up with him? Please advise on what to do. Oh God I cant believe this is happening..

wotabouttheworkers Sat 02-Jul-11 04:09:59

Fizz Can't sleep either. So sorry you are going through this. Just let him know that you know. Don't dwell, but just tell him quietly what a massively big and awful deal this is for you. He might be a nice guy but I thought my ex P was until we split up and he behaved appallingly (took me to court with a residence case). Try, try, try to be calm and dignified (easily said I know) then he can't use "rantiness" against you. Good luck, big hug.

GypsyMoth Sat 02-Jul-11 10:21:53

So had he looked at other stuff as well?

HRHMJOFMAGICJAMALAND Sat 02-Jul-11 10:31:38

Message withdrawn

M0naLisa Sat 02-Jul-11 10:42:42

Has he admitted that he likes chicks with 'dicks' or have you just come to that conclusion because you have seen the downloads?

jimswifein1964 Sat 02-Jul-11 10:45:57

What people enjoy looking at in a pornography context has no bearing on what they'd really want to do in real life. I think you're probably reacting more strongly than you would due to the stress/emotion of getting divorced.

Ganshee Sat 02-Jul-11 13:51:34

Interesting perspective here but I know someone who is happily married but openly admits to liking chicks with dicks. (Not me - so please don't send me your piccies).

The world takes all sorts. You should perhaps be more tolerant of this man. There's no problem here at all - it's just your outlook on life that perhaps may need slightly adjusting.

fizzfiend Sat 02-Jul-11 16:17:17

Ganshee...I am very tolerant. However, I feel like he probably married me under false pretences. He would never have sex me and would never talk about why he wouldn't....hence divorce. I am angry that he is probably gay but used me to pretend he wasn't.

Mona you are right...I am making assumptions, but I am not going to say anything. If he ever tries to make my life difficult (which I don't think he will, but you never know), it will at least be some ammunition I can use.

I still feel sick to think that I have been married to this man for 16 years and don't know a thing about me because he has never been able to talk about anything apart from what he wants for dinner. Bleugh...

Ganshee Sat 02-Jul-11 23:58:35

He must have seen something in you if he courted you and married you? Perhaps he is confused about his sexuality?

It seems odd that you married a man that you appear to have so little in common with and, I admit, you certainly deserve better. What I'm trying to say though is that, his suspected fetish for chicks with dicks should not really be an issue here. There are a lot worse things happening in the world and a marriage can work, even if a man has this fetish (As I mentioned, I know a happy couple in this scenario).

The strange thing here, which you rightly point out, is that he doesn't have sex with you (Hopefully not for the full 16 years without sex? - If so, how the hell did you cope?) which is a little odd and which certainly reinforces the 'confused' scenario.

Try not to feel sick about it. Move on and find someone better suited for you and your needs. The past has gone and you need to look to the present and future. Your happiness is the most important issue here.

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