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When do you say enough is enough?

(7 Posts)
lolarocks Fri 01-Jul-11 19:16:35

I have been with DH for six years and we have two young children.
Very early on in the relationship we both slept with other people but it doesn't really bother me as it was early days before we were serious about each other.

However, three years ago after we got married DH had an affair which lasted about four months. At the time I was absolutely devastated and even slashed my wrists as I just couldn't cope with it, it was a bolt out of the blue. We had both been so happy and so loved up before I found out about it, it was the last thing in the world I thought would happen. Eventually I managed to deal with it and put it to the back of my mind.

However, recently I have started to become suspicious about DH's behaviour again and don't know what to do. He has his mobile practically glued to him, has been working late, and snaps at me a lot for no reason, which isn't like him. My gut tells me he is up to no good but I will not end my marriage because of a gut reaction.

What can I do?

GypsyMoth Fri 01-Jul-11 19:21:33

get some proof...or talk to him ?

your marriage may be all over for him anyway,you wont know untill you approach him. how did you find out about it last time?

lolarocks Fri 01-Jul-11 19:27:27

He never admitted the previous affair and will lie until I'm blue in the face so I need proof.
Last time I had a feeling he was up to no good and found out he had set up a new email address solely for the purpose of emailing the OW. I found loads of photos she had sent to him, emails saying that she would meet him at such and such a time and place 'as usual', emails saying she missed him and couldn't wait to see him, always with lots of kisses.
It was undeniable and he realised he that but he never answered many of the questions I had, never told me any details whatsoever.

lolarocks Fri 01-Jul-11 19:29:50

he realised that that should read. he didn't deny it but refused to answer my questions.

brokenlady Fri 01-Jul-11 20:25:38

H was treating me exactly as your H is treating you and, like you, I was suspicious because it was so not like him. I basically found a second phone hidden in his car that was full of text messages between them. It also alerted me to an email account that he had set up to mail her from. It has been hell for me but I am glad I got at the truth. H had repeatedly denied he was up to anything when I questionned him so finding evidence was the only way it was all going to come out for me.

I think the thing to remember is that our gut instinct is often right.

HerHissyness Fri 01-Jul-11 23:20:21

OK, so trust your instincts. Your intuition doesn't lie.

So he might be having an affair? devastating yes.

Worth harming yourself over? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

If you are going to get cross at someone, get cross at him.

No man is worth dying over, least of all a low down cheat.

But enough about him.

Now you. If your suispicions turn out to be true, you need to understand that you didn't do this. HE did. he chose to break your trust, he chose to cheat, and now he adds lying to your face to the list of betrayals.

YOU are worth a million of him. Remember that?

Look after yourself. He'll sort himself out.

carantala Sat 02-Jul-11 00:07:26

Agree with BL and HH. Don't let him put you down! Good luck!

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