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Could really do with some advice about christening DD.

(3 Posts)
LeoTheLateBloomer Fri 01-Jul-11 13:42:24

DD is 14mo and hasn't been christened due to 2 Godparents living abroad (we were waiting for a time to have everyone in the same country)

H and I split up back in April and now he's demanding that we christen DD together.

He's not in the slightest bit religious and only agreed to marry in Church because I wouldn't have done it any other way. I, on the other hand, would like to have her christened for religious reasons. I don't see the point otherwise.

His latest suggestion is that it should just be me, him and DD so that there is no awkwardness with family. I asked him this morning (via email) why he keeps going on about this. His answer is that this will be the only milestome in DD's life that he will witness; he's missed everything else and presumably expects to miss all the milestones to come (his assumption not mine).

The split was due to EA so much of the communication since then has been very psychological and emotional. I've often ignored texts and emails, but this one won't go away and it's really bothering me.

The idea of standing in a Church with him, promising together to bring DD up in a moral, religious way is so hypocritical it makes me feel sick. Christenings, to me, should be about the child's whole family all taking on a joint responsibility to love, support and nurture together.

I just don't know where to go on this one. I'd rather tell him he can do something with his family first and then I'll have a blessing for her with mine.

Has anyone got any bright ideas?

oldwomaninashoe Fri 01-Jul-11 13:59:23

If he is not religous I too do not understand this.

What I would suggest you do is approach your local Priest/Vicar/Minister at the church you want her christened in and most clergy want to see and talk to the parents beforehand to discuss their motives, godparents etc.
It might be that he backs down when, his motives are questioned, it could also happen that it might not be such an awful affair if it goes ahead if the "vicar" could smooth the way so to speak.

I think you need a third party involved here and I would think that the "Vicar" is the obvious choice.

LeoTheLateBloomer Fri 01-Jul-11 14:26:48

That's a really good suggestion, thank you.

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