Hello
Wonder if anyone can offer some practical advice on my DB's situation. Having been through some rough relationship probs myself, I don't feel I'm really the best one to advise him so need other's perspectives please.
My DB is going through a nasty bitter divorce. He has two young DCs with STBex who he loves with all his heart.
The Ex is making it very hard for him to see his DCs.
She left the marital home with the DCs and is now set up in a council house and claiming benefits. DB is left in house paying all the bills and struggling to keep his business afloat by himself. He works away a lot but can't get away from this as he has to travel to where the work is.
DB would love to get 50/50 residency but at the moment nothing is being sorted legally and his Ex is telling DB when he can see the kids, cancelling last minute or making plans and then changing them. He's just working around it and whenever he's allowed to see his kids, he makes sure he's there.
Anyway, he's only allowed at the moment to have kids overnight for one night a week. When he takes them to see their Mother at their meeting point the kids are hysterical saying they want to stay with their dad. Its emotionally hurting him so much.
He then gets a letter from the CSA to claim for maintenance this week but he wants his kids overnight more and wants more time with them so how can she claim for maintenance at this stage when nothing is set in concrete and his Ex is pulling the strings.
He's so low. Not sleeping.
I wasn't married so not sure how the legal system works in this sort of thing but surely if the Dad is devoted one and wants his DCs as much as possible, how can it be allowed that the Mum does all the dictating and has the say in when they see their Dad, moves their doctors surgery with DB knowing, potentially moving them to another school without DB's consent.
I am someone who works with my Ex and he sees my DCs whenever he can whether thats overnight or whatever and I really cannot see how a Mother can do this to their DCs when it is clearly upsetting them too.
Sorry its long. There is a lot more to it but the DC situation is the hardest right now.
They are divorcing because his Ex had an affair a few years ago and they've been unable to get over it as a couple so their marriage just deteriorated over the years.
TIA
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Can any offer some advice for me to help my DB?
3 replies
OhToBeFree · 01/07/2011 09:53
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