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Husband Cheats Again!

(5 Posts)
safari8 Wed 29-Jun-11 19:39:39

Ok, this my first time here. I'm at my wits end,my heart is aching,Idon't want to tell any friends or family yet, as that would be owning up to things, and besides I know what they'd probably say anyway.
Basically have been married over 8 years, with 2 fabby children. Have been through so many things with husband,as he's from overseas,so had visa probelms in the beginning,and huge problems with my family accepting him-which they now all do- and treat him no differently to anyone else now.He's had serious illness,been out of work- all of which I've soldiered on ,and got him through as that's what you do,don't you when your married to someone.Basically I love him,and want to married to him tillthe day I die.But spanner in theworks is that he has a roaming eye. The other night I went up to bed-he was fast asleep-mobile beside him-open at his texts- went to move it- but could see he had been texting a woman - read the texts,and they were all about getting together the next night when I had arranged to be away!!!!!! Also,she has a son, and partner - and seems my husband was going on about how all kids love him- implying he could set up family with her- and disregard us. You can imagine how fuming I was-I texted her back- in a rage-to let her know I knew.Worst of all- she's local as husband just set up a business,and she is a client, and they've only known each other 4 weeks. Anyway- husband and I had huge row - and now haven't spoken for a few days.He shows no sadness/ remorse,and quite frankly his style is to let it blow over,and then try and be nice to me,and hopeI'll forget things.I've had enough though- but it'sthe kids -they love their dad, Do I stickit out for their sakes - or make a move? Also,I think my mummay take the news very badly,and I don'twant to damage her health.I knowI should get out,butit's all just so much to take in and so scarey

FabbyChic Wed 29-Jun-11 20:01:13

You move on, you never stay in a relationship for the children, it is not fair, the unhappiness can be felt by them. Get rid of this no good for nothing cheat and find someone who will respect, love and cherish you.

ScaredOfCows Wed 29-Jun-11 20:38:58

Don't stay for the children - they deserve to see how a good relationship works, not a bad one.

safari8 Wed 29-Jun-11 20:58:04

I know- but I don't think I will be able to give him the access I should as I don't trust he won't be introducing our children to girlfriend after girlfriend,plus he doesn't deserve it - it's me who's made them who they are,and given them every opportunity in life to try things. He is a lovely caring dad,don't get me wrong,but when we're all around,it's me who does everything- but in their eyes -they love him to bits.

catwalker Thu 30-Jun-11 00:09:53

He is NOT a lovely caring dad! How can you say that? He may appear to be on a superficial level. But what lovely caring dads do is work hard to maintain a secure family unit for their children. They don't jeopardise their children's happiness and stability by having affairs.

And lovely caring people do not think that the fallout of discovering an affair will just 'blow over'. He sounds like a complete jerk.

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