My beautiful, generous, intelligent and brave sister has spent the last ten years being worn down by a controlling and emotionally abusive man.
It seems like everyone can see it, other than her.
She spends her life making excuses for his appalling behavior.
Over the years, her close friends have drifted away. I'm pretty sure he has convinced her that members of the family who have questioned his behavior are labeled as either interfering/controlling or 'mad'.
She hears: 'it's none of your business' 'you can't make me do anything' 'you're mad' 'you're thick' a lot, and she believes it.
He brings no money into the house (he's not working, but is 'out' all day - she doesn't know where). He takes no responsibility for any child care.
There is loads more to the story- this is the bare bones.
Occasionally, it'll come to a head - he'll do something truly awful and she'll vent to me or our mum. Then, within a few days, he will have got into her head again - given her some ridiculous excuse or convinced her that it was her fault. She'll then take back everything she has said and respond to our point of view using words that are, quite literally, out of his mouth.
Her ds has recently started calling her 'stupid woman' when she tells him off. He has just been 4.
Does anyone with experience of this type of situation have any advice please?
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Is it possible to make someone understand that they are the victim of abuse, or do they have to work it out for themself?
39 replies
lovelybertha · 28/06/2011 12:47
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