Ive name changed for this as im ashamed embarrased frightened confused.
H & I been together 10yrs married for 7. He was married prev & has 1 son who he sees on & off, long story but ex wife had affair then kept son from him, bitter divorce etc. Son now 14 & has made no attempt to see H despite H trying to maintain links. any how this situation is a long running saga in our life. H suffers depression/anxiety. We have 2 dd 5yrs & 5 wks.... H likes to have a few drinks but cant hold his drink and goes one of 2 ways, sleeps & doesnt bother me or totally foul abusive, last night he went off on one! `he had been out drinking on the Sat then last night he said he was away to offy for more beers, he had 4 cans in the fridge, but wanted more. I didnt respond to him as I thought he was trying to start an argugment so he didnt go to offy but downed the beers he had within the space of 30 mins. I knew he had gone into a mood by this stage so tried to avoid him. I was on the net & heard him shouting at dd1 to come & wash her hands, so I went up to see what was wrong at which he called me a controlling bastard???!!! I told him to wind his neck in & that I hadnt stop him getting more beers. He cleared off outside ranting & I putdd1 to bed. Later in evening I went to try & get chickens in & asked him to help, which he wouldnt so they were left out & at 10ish he went to try & get them & came back in like a bear, pushed/threw the pram out of the way, baby not in it, & sat down. I said "its as well she, dd2, wasnt in it" & went out to try again with the chickens. He followed me out to start an arguement, 'do you not think I knew she wasnt in the pram"? he said then lifted dd1s toy shopping trolley & threw it at me! it didnt hit me .. im in shock annoyed etc. I just had a c section 5 wks ago, i dont deserve to be treated like this but know atm im not strong enough to leave. sorry for the disjointed nature of this post but heads messed up cant think straight. I know ive probably brought this on myself.
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what have I done wrong?.. need to write this down
5 replies
et04 · 27/06/2011 09:09
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