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I am so angry and resentful at DH

(4 Posts)
ElectricSoftParade Sun 26-Jun-11 09:24:29

Warning: I think I am being a bit "poor me" but really would like to get this out so I can try to stop festering.

My DB died very recently and it was his funeral last Wednesday. He was the only remaining member of my family left (dad, mam and sister all gone). I really should know how my DH is when it comes to high emotion ie finds it very difficult to talk and sort of closes down when major upsets happen, but I had hoped he would at least be physically around.

Off he went last night to go out with his brother. Fine, no problems but then I receive a call at about 12.30 from him saying his brother is a bit down and he was staying there "to support him". I am fucking livid. I understand him wanting to be there for his brother but (poor me bit) what about me? I just feel I am supposed to carry on and not actually look to my husband for any kind of support. I hate myself for this bit but I found myself thinking "Ha, well he will find out how it feels when someone he loves dies". I don't like feeling this vicious but I am so bloody angry and a bit hurt.

On the whole, we have a good marriage but I really feel such anger towards him atm. Possibly I am just transferring my upset/anger/hurt on to him. I don't know, like I said, I just wanted to try and stop myself festering and writing it down has helped a bit.

Thanks for reading.

GilbertsGrapes Sun 26-Jun-11 09:27:13

You're grieving your brother, of course you're going to be upset. Your husband should be with you right now.

I'm so sorry for your loss sad

HerHissyness Sun 26-Jun-11 11:21:53

Hmm, it is a bit shit, but perhaps the loss of your brother has made him think about his brother and seeing that he needs help, he stayed.

I'm so sorry for your loss,

throckenholt Sun 26-Jun-11 11:28:22

I would say to him it is great you want to support your brother. You might not realise it but I could do with some support at the moment too - I am feeling very fragile since DB died.

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