I think the main problem my Sister has with me, to sum it up in a few words, is her fat stupid little sister lost weight and went to University, and she hates that. There is only 20 months between us and she has spent her life undermining, belittling, bullying and generally being unpleasant to me. I was the youngest at most family gatherings, so was easily left out, by the time it was my turn the others would have lost interest, but this was usually led by my own sister telling others it was time to do something else.
As I got older she would tell me every time she felt I had done something socially wrong. Teenage years are hard enough without somebody you think you can trust continually undermining your confidence. I do wonder what our parents thought was going on, possibly they tried so hard to treat us equally they failed to step in when they should? Generally I think they did well. Just occasionally Dad would go off track, when I got my exam results he went round telling people "Scaredy did better than DD1", not just that I'd done better than expected well. And a few years later, "the only reason she doesn't hit you is 'cause your bigger" well she had I would just walk away, he knew I'd done nothing.
Our out look on life and our lives have been very different. She has never lived more than a few minutes drive away from home, I left for University at 18 and never went back. I've been with DP since I was 20, she avarages the one every 2 years. She moves in with them, gets our parents heavily involved with them, doing loads of favours, and then huge bust up and moves home. All the while criticizing my DP.
She told my DP some bullshit once,whilst we where all on holiday, he didn't realise what she was really like, so wouldn't talk to me until he calmed down enough to start to explain why he was angry, I stopped him and told him my version, I still don't know exactly what she said, but I got an apology from DP. I didn't talk to her for a few years after as it was the last straw along with many other things.
She does seem to be sorting herself out, she no longer phones me drunk at 2am to tell me she's hurt her head in the club she's in another town, her DP seems lovely and does nice things for my family. But she is constantly trying to give me advise, because baby sitting some friends kids makes her an expert on child rearing, telling me how badly I'm dressed, says she who always wears her clothes at least 2 sizes to small. I'm sick of her bitchy truthful comments, it was bad enough when it was just me, but now I know she's doing it to Mum as well.
I need to let go and ignore her, she is toxic, I wouldn't have her as a friend. Dad is ill and our parents don't need the added stress of us not talking. I've had enough, everyone else seems to just let her behave how she wants.
Thanks for reading that feels a bit better.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Toxic Sister
10 replies
Scaredycat3000 · 24/06/2011 21:18
OP posts:
dittany ·
24/06/2011 23:25
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
dittany ·
25/06/2011 14:58
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.