Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Reading Sandra Browns Dangerous Man book is making me feel sick

(8 Posts)
Tosellornotto Thu 23-Jun-11 21:01:12

I have had to put it down, I feel sick that my ex is not even a person just a caricature made up of three different abusive personality types, I thought sometimes during our relationship that he wasn't even human.
I feel an idiot for falling for what I see is textbook crap, he is a bad bad man. For anyone else who has read this book, did it help you to make better choices in the future?
One thing I have decided to do is auctiion the many gifts he bought me for womans aid, about £30k worth so should do some good, and I can hold my head high not feeling like a glorified prostitute anymore, everything from him makes me feel sick.
Sorry for the unintelligible ramble but I am in shock about how I could have been so stupid and how I could have ignored all the glaring bright red flags.

babyhammock Thu 23-Jun-11 23:06:11

I felt like that when i read the Lundy Bancroft book (I'll look up yours as I haven't seen that one.
I can't believe I was so stupid either. ALL the red flags were there and I ignored them.
Now me and little DS are stuck in the middle of a nightmare.

That's such a lovely thing that you're doing for womansaid, really really lovely x

Tosellornotto Thu 23-Jun-11 23:20:48

Thank you, I consider myself pretty switched on too. I am glad it only lasted 2 years, thank goodness no longer. As for the sale, I think it will be a great way of doing something good with his money, I never wanted it, at least he can do something good for womankind, even if he doesn't know it, although massive temptation to do it on eBay and name him! X

tallwivglasses Fri 24-Jun-11 00:28:18

I'll look up the book op, thanks.

babyhammock, please climb out of your nightmare - nobody's truly stuck!

Jux Fri 24-Jun-11 01:05:40

Baby hammock, you can get out of the nightmare. No matter how difficult or complicated your situation, you can get out.

Tosellornotto, excellent idea. Well dine for getting out.

garlicnutter Fri 24-Jun-11 02:11:36

Thank you for this - and well done smile
I hadn't heard of Sandra Brown before. I've just had a look through what appears to be her website, , and think it's useful.

OP, your idea of selling the 'stuff' for Womens Aid is fab!

Before you do it, make sure he doesn't rip you off (mine did.) Take care of yourself and be PROUD! x

babyhammock Fri 24-Jun-11 05:49:49

Don't want to hijack... I'm trying. Have an injunction that he is in the process of defending and he is also trying (and suceeding) to prevent me selling my house which I need to do to go back to my job. He's lying about everything which I can prove but that takes time and I need to move now... You finally get the strength to get rid of them but then they find other ways to get at you even though they can't talk to you. The next thing will be DS sad

Back to OP x

Tosellornotto Fri 24-Jun-11 18:59:06

Don't worry one little bit about hijacking, it's fine. I put the book down as it was stopping me sleeping and I have had a very busy week at work. What I have learnt so far is that my ex is pathological, he will never change (so even if I had been less challenging it would have made no difference) and that his behaviour since we broke is textbook, in that he had his new victim within a day and has been house hunting and taking her to the carribean within 4 weeks of their 'relationship'. I am so angry and I could take so many forms of revenge, I know I could ruin him but my dignity and integrity has to come first. I don't even care that he has a new girlfriend I just hate him for the way he treated me. it's weird because I find it hard to put my finger on why he made me feel so bad about myself and why I let it happen. This was my third long term relationship and the others were so lovely, am scared of making a bad choice again and terrified to let anyone near me.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now