Be nice to me, I'm feeling grotty which is why this isn't in AIBU. I can't cope with a fight just yet!
I had minor abdominal surgery yesterday as an outpatient and DH was ace, brilliant in the hospital before the op & at home afterwards.
Today, he has taken the day off work to look after DS (2.5 yo) as I am still all woozy and sleepy from the GA & cannot bend in the middle v well or lift heavy things (like DS). They went to the supermarket this morning but it's gone downhill this afternoon: I have found DH napping on the sofa twice - I heard the snoring from upstairs - while DS did fuck knows what alone, and the second time DS was trotting about in a full nappy that I could smell from the doorway.
DH is now barely speaking to me because I gently (no, really) told him this was not on and could he please do something with DS, who was getting bored and, even more importantly, very smelly. So he has changed the nappy and they have gone to the park. I asked DH to drop off the hospital's letter to my GP off at the surgery as I won't be able to do it this week & it's on the way to the park anyway and he said, "Maybe. Dunno. I'll see.". I had to get DS's shoes on as DH just told him to put them on or he was leaving him at home. FFS, he is a toddler and cannot put his own shoes on yet, and DH knows this. He is usually great with him but has been grumpy and off with him as well today.
I know the reason he is so tired is that he was up until 1 this morning on the playstation (I looked at the clock when he came to bed). But, and here's the thing, this was a planned operation and he has known for weeks that he was having DS today.
I feel that his attitude is, "Right, you've had your sick day, now if you don't mind, I've taken the day off work AND been shopping, so it's a holiday and I resent being asked to do anything round the house at all, so stop being a princess and muck in, I've done enough now.".
I've even had to take all the shitty nappies from the last 2 days to the outside bin as he just left them all over the house. My stitches hurt and I can't wee properly. Going up and down stairs hurts my stitches and makes my head swim. I just want to sleep knowing that my son is being cared for by his Daddy and that there isn't poo all over the place.
Too much to ask?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
DH being a tool when I'm ill: warning, longish rant.
openerofjars · 22/06/2011 16:47
No, it's not too much to ask. FFS! (That FFS is aimed at him not you.) You've just had surgery, you've still got GA in your system, it's not like you're able to do much. He chose to be tired, by playing on the Playstation, that's not your fault.
Is he normally like this when you're ill? It's not much help, but my H is the same, when I'd had abdominal surgery, he couldn't - or wouldn't - understand why I was unable to mop the kitchen floor 
Is there anyone nearby who can help you?
you could have my dh who is annoying in completely the opposite way.
When I was in hosp last time he decided it would be a really good idea to clean out the cellar, clean behind all the taps in the house with limescale cleaner and clean out under the sink and rearrange the bookshelves 
without doing bog standard stuff like loading teh dishwasher and changing the sheets.
Gotta love him.
Can't shoot him.
Yeah, a week after I had DS, my stitches got infected and I was in so much pain I could barely walk. DH "forgot" to get my antibiotics from the chemists for a whole day, and kept getting narky when I needed some sleep as it was interfering with his World of Warcraft time. He apologised later on but it (obviously) still rankles.
The rest of the time he is okay, he's just shit when I'm ill. I get a cold, he gets flu. I get tonsilitis, he gets ebola. Apparently he's just torn his Achilles tendon . Not limping now, though. Berk.
No, no-one else around, apart from a mate who has offered but who is already struggling with 2 small DCs of her own. DS is at nursery tomorrow and Friday, and both he & DH are now watching Something Special happily together.
mumblechum - that reminds me of when I was in hospital 3 days after giving birth (baby blues had hit me), as well as both me and ds having an unknown infection. I was feeling really low and lonely in a room by myself and I asked DH if he could come and see me again in the afternoon.
His response was that he "had to clean out the wheelie bin and cut the grass as it really needs done" and 
Ooh, she'll flay him.
She'd be more convinced by brave struggling than tears, though. She's had three sons and took them all on a camping holiday when the youngest was 3 weeks/days/hours old (or summat).
But yeah, she'll have his hide.
openerofjars I'm hoping your sense of humour will see you through
When you're both a bit more relaxed maybe you should have a serious word!
Okay, have told him this morning that I can't do the following: laundry, washing up, bathing DS or nappy changing, picking things up, bending, standing up for ages.
But I can do:
Making toast & tea
Helping DS to get dressed if he's being cooperative but not if otherwise.
Reading to DS
Watching endless CBeebies/Shrek with DS
Sleeping
Eating junk food
Showering
I can also do putting the dozen long stemmed red roses that he bought yesterday but forgot until he took DS to nursery this morning into a vase, bless him.
Things are looking up!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.