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what should i do about this?- friendship problem-sorry v long

(3 Posts)
performancegirl Tue 21-Jun-11 19:17:23

sorry, first of all should say this is going to be long so apologies in advance.
Someone who has probably been my closest friend for the last 10 years (probably the closest friend i have ever had) appears to have cut me out of her life & i have no idea why or how to make things right with her.

To cut a v long story short we have seen each other through marriage break ups & a series od bad & good relationships on both sides. We have both had our fair share of infatuation/dalliances with unsuitable men & have always been there for each other.

She was always the friend that i could talk about anything with-and i could always rely on her to give me her honest opinion when i wanted it & to tell me what i wanted to hear when that was what i needed. I have always done the same for her & thought we would be friends forever.

She has in the past suffered from depression & for a lot of last year was quite down although able to work etc but i didn't see her as much as i had in the past as she was not up to socialising much. (she lives about 80 miles from me & I am single mum to 2 small children). If i phoned her & she was not up to talking she would always text me & let me know but we kept in touch by email & text as well as 2 or 3 weekend visits.

At the beginning of this year she met a bloke on a dating website & instantly became much happier; i was v pleased for her, excited to meet him etc. she told me all about him.
We had a phone conversation at the beginning of March; she told me it was all going v well but then expressed some concern that she might be 'settling' beacuse of the urge to have kids. we talked about this, no different from lots of previous conversations, i said be careful, but couldn't wait to meet him etc.

Sinc e then we exchanged a couple of texts, it was my birthday & hers. I didn't think much of not hearing that much from her beacuse I knew she was loved up & beacuse they both work she was only able to see new bloke at weekends.

But, since the middle of May i have been trying to contact her by text, landline, mobile, work email, home email, facebook email & have no response. My DS was admitted to hospital as had an asthma attack out of the blue & i text her to let her know & had no response. (this was when i started to get concerned).

A couple of weeks ago i sent her a jokey text to say that i was starting to get paranoid- no response & the next day I saw she had de-friended me from Facebook! I have emailed & texted her a couple of times since then but nothing. Part of me just wants to leave it; i don't want to turn into a stalker but mostly I am very upset & very worried about her. I am imagining all sorts of things to do with this bloke which are probably all totally ridiculous but it is so out of character for her to behave like this.

Sorry- am aware this is ridiculously long- just looking for some advice really on what to do next. I emailed her ex-boyfriend (as he on both our facebooks & they are friends) just to see if he has heard from her recently but he said he hadn't. I have also emailed her brother, just to see whether she is ok but have had no response. TBH, if it wasn't for the facebook de-friending i would probably have gone done to try & see her where she lives as that's the only evidence i have that she is around.

MrsVidic Tue 21-Jun-11 19:21:54

I would send her a letter and just say you're not sure if you have done something to offend her but you miss her and want her in your life- the balls in her court then.

She may be going through something (completley unrelated to you and taking it out on the wrong person)

performancegirl Tue 21-Jun-11 19:26:19

thanks- i have thought of that & actually tried to write something at the weekend but just ended up in floods of tears & feeling rather pathetic. The main thing now is that I just want to know that she is ok. The lack of response to anything is so out of character & I have never known her to treat anyone like thi (even those who maybe desreved it) through all the time i have known her.
I did send her a text last week, basically saying what you have said- just wanted her to know that i was here for her if/when she needs me. Just feel so sad- I loved her & didn't realise it till now

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