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DH contacting ex gf

(34 Posts)
memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 17:07:21

by email telling her hes been thinking of her and how is she wtf!!!!!! then subsequent email telling her how unhappy he is in his marriage. how disrespectful to me and our dcs im furious!

Zanette Tue 21-Jun-11 17:09:04

That's disgraceful! He should be speaking to YOU if he's not happy, not trying to get some sympathy from an old flame! Hope you're gonna kick his arse!

TechLovingDad Tue 21-Jun-11 17:09:59

Hope you show him how happy he can be alone.

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 21-Jun-11 17:10:24

No wonder. My unhelpful response to him would be "Fuck off back to her if you're so miserable."

AnyFucker Tue 21-Jun-11 17:11:21

tell him to be careful what he wishes for

then show him the door

what a twat

essexmumma Tue 21-Jun-11 17:13:31

You poor lady! You deserve so much more x

HerHissyness Tue 21-Jun-11 17:15:21

How on earth did you find out about this?

Shameful. How treacherous! Poor you love!

Open door. Toe up his behind. Close (and bolt) door.

stubbornhubby Tue 21-Jun-11 17:15:52

maybe he's laying a trap to find out whether you are reading his email?
perhaps he's unhappy because he knows you are reading his email?

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 17:16:32

we're always up and down for a variety of reasons and he has done something like this before we married ie complained about me and all my personal details. he doesnt know i know and has changed his password ... kinda stumped im sure more has been exchanged

AnyFucker Tue 21-Jun-11 17:16:37

Perhaps that is so, SH

my advice remains the same though

TechLovingDad Tue 21-Jun-11 17:17:37

SH, pretty twisted logic there but even so he's still a twat. He could have sent himself an email saying "I can see you", which she'd have seen.

sungirltan Tue 21-Jun-11 17:25:49

well he's either bored and horny, in need of an ego boost or needs someone to talk to. i chat to an ex of mine sometimes about my marriage and he chats to me about his relationship - its all very innocent.

which bothers you more - the fact he's talking aobut your reltionship or the fact he's talking to an ex?

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 21-Jun-11 17:28:48

The fact he's telling the ex he is unhappy tells it all. He is trying to reel her in.

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 17:29:19

no its not a trap its for real, its quite pathetic he had to blurt it out to this person - you can imagine her thought - oh so now you regret finishing with me! so pathetic! i actually relayed a post from here which involved facebook messages to exes and the break up of a marriage and guess what he changed his password. i couldnt really care about her its all about him and the total lack of respect for me. its pretty hardcore

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 17:32:04

sungirltan its the fact he sought her out and then asked her how she was and then straight off about the marriage ugh! so disrespectful IMO - it may be innocent to you but i feel its really inappropriate to discuss your partner with someone you date last and whom you havent had any contact with for years its almost like saying in code wish i hadnt finished with you and i wouldnt have married this one!

sungirltan Tue 21-Jun-11 17:33:26

oh crikey - fair enough - i would be quite horrified too. i just wondered as i have been in contact with my ex continually since splitting 9 years ago and dh knows - its clearly not like that with you guys!

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 17:43:21

no not the same

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 21-Jun-11 17:51:20

Memories What are you going to do?

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 17:55:38

dont know

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:00:57

Have you talked to him about this?

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 18:04:25

not yet

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:08:50

There's your first step. His reaction will be interesting. Anything other than a full disclosure, humble apology and complete, honest, explanation of the reasons behind his betrayal of you and your family is unacceptable.

memoriesindeed Tue 21-Jun-11 18:13:55

thanks yes i know just disappointed had enough of this type of shite

gomummygo Tue 21-Jun-11 18:22:11

Unacceptable, incredibly disrespectful to you and your DCs.

<<< Those are the arrows pointing to the door if he is so unhappy. Please do not let him think he can betray you in that way, it will only get worse, and sounds as though it is headed there quickly.

Sorry you are in this situation. sad

What's wrong in your marriage and do you think there is anything left worth mending? If not, get on with sorting out your rights and legal position WRT separating. If you think that it could be sorted out, then take steps to do that - but please note it's only fixable if he is willing to make an effort, go to Relate, discuss his concerns with you, listen to your concerns etc/ It's not possible to fix a marriage if only one person is trying to make changes.

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