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Does "I've never felt this way about anyone before" always signify abuse?

(13 Posts)
malinkey Mon 20-Jun-11 21:49:55

I've seen this described as a red flag on here and it's something that's been said to me in more than one abusive relationship.

I've just read a trashy book and it ended with the romantic hero saying something along these lines to the heroine. Made me think he shouldn't be saying it or she shouldn't trust him as he must be a wrong 'un! But can it ever be ok?

PrinceHumperdink Mon 20-Jun-11 21:51:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedabodytransplant Mon 20-Jun-11 21:51:49

I suppose it's a red flag if said too early in the relationship.

But can't see any problem if it's a long term deal. Why can't it be said after a year, two years.

ginmakesitallok Mon 20-Jun-11 21:53:25

I think DP and I said it to each other within a fortnight of meeting - 17 years on and it wasn't a red flag!?

BitOfFun Mon 20-Jun-11 21:55:23

It's twee romantic nonsense- which more usually indicates that someone has gone a bit dippy for you, not that you will end up under their patio. HTH.

GwendolineMaryLacey Mon 20-Jun-11 21:55:25

DH said it to me within the month, we've been married 11 years and he's a lovely bloke, if a bit untidy smile

boogiewoogie Mon 20-Jun-11 21:57:15

Not necessarily, but it is cheesey, unoriginal and the sort of thing you would say if you are putting someone on a pedestal, also things like "you're the only one I've ever cared about", "I'll never love someone in the way I'll love you" etc and anything very cliche.

DH has never said anything like that to me. Someone from my past has and he is textbook nutjob.

PonceyMcPonce Mon 20-Jun-11 22:02:46

Actually dh said it to me after about a month. Have been married for 19 years . Still happy.

However, definitely sounds nuts looking at it dispassionately.

ilovedora27 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:39:22

My husband said it to me within 2 weeks been married 7 years now, cause it doesnt mean a red flag.

Onemorning Tue 21-Jun-11 19:34:33

I said it once to my DH, because it's true and I was a bit pished.

He's lovely, I hope I am.

QueeferSutherland Tue 21-Jun-11 20:22:08

God, no.

I've said it to DH and he's said it to me. I think drink may have been taken too.blush We did mean it though. DH wasn't using it as a "line" though. We were just talking about how we dug each other.

Abusive partners have said it too me too, very early on.

I think you need to trust your guts.

malinkey Wed 22-Jun-11 08:46:41

I think maybe I'm reading too much into it! grin

On its own maybe it's not a red flag then in the context of a healthy relationship or just being a bit soppy, but if it's implied that all other women are bitches apart from you then I guess it's time to run for the hills!

Imnotaslimjim Wed 22-Jun-11 08:50:11

My DH said it to me within a few days of us getting together, though we'd known each other a few months

We moved in together a fortnight later, and got married after 12 months. We've just celebrated 10 years together. So no, it isn't always a red flag cos my DH is far from abusive!

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