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Heart or head?

(15 Posts)
FedUpCantKickoff Sun 19-Jun-11 02:22:45

That's it really, I was thinking about it this evening and wondering whether "the heart" would lead you in the wrong direction. Anyone faced a similar question over a situation and what did you do?

BitOfFun Sun 19-Jun-11 02:31:53

Head. Heart informs it, but head has the final say.

nicecupatea Sun 19-Jun-11 04:00:24

Head. I asked a friend the same question a few years ago and was told to follow my heart, I did and am now dragging myself out of a horrible abusive relationship, I wish I had paid more attention to the facts and not my emotions.

SirSugar Sun 19-Jun-11 06:13:29

what bitoffun says is perfect

Trestired Sun 19-Jun-11 11:26:09

I'll second nicecupoftea.

Nightmare! Head Head Head

Tosellornotto Sun 19-Jun-11 11:31:27

Both, someone once said to me if either your heart or your head have different views then it's not right, the two need to be in tune, I go with this.

FedUpCantKickoff Mon 20-Jun-11 01:34:20

It's just that once, I had to make a decision, quite a major one, and I listed all the options and they were all equally weighted. So someone said to me go with the decision that your heart feels is right then. I did and it was a good outcome. This was not to do with blokes. The trouble is that I know decisions based purely on emotion tend to be wrong, but I also know that go this particular situation, where I have gone with what my head said was the right thing, it didn't work, and I had I lot of pain to deal with. The heart decision, and it keeps coming back to the same thing again and again, involves basically laying all my cards on the table and risking walking away with nothing. My heart tells me that it's the right thing to do, my head tells me that it will work out for the best, basically I'm scared.

CareyFakes Mon 20-Jun-11 08:00:37

Do or Die is my motto.

Fear makes bad decisions.

Kally Mon 20-Jun-11 11:05:00

went with my head with present relationship. But heart still pines for what head ruled out. so you get along with what you have and think 'this is sensible' 'I am safe here', but the heart still lingers and wonders and remembers and doesn't quite let go so that head can maybe be the safest option but not always the most satisfying. What is most bearable? I don't know. Depends on the danger you could put yourself through emotionally if you go with your heart, compared to being partly satisfied with sensibility.

bejeezus Mon 20-Jun-11 11:17:12

I am the same as nicecupoftea

Anniegetyourgun Mon 20-Jun-11 11:29:28

Thing is though, that you shouldn't let your heart make the decision, BUT if your heart isn't engaged it isn't a sensible decision to make either. In other words, if the best man (or job, or wallpaper) on objective criteria doesn't float your boat face-to-face, that in itself needs to be factored in to the calculation. Not only might you be unhappy spending the rest of your life in a pleasant but spark-free relationship (or job, etc), but the nice man deserves better than a partner who is always mooning after "the one that got away". Maybe you should run away from both and wait for someone who floats your boat without being a shipwreck in waiting.

FedUpCantKickoff Tue 21-Jun-11 20:14:56

I like your answer Annie :-). I'm taking a step back and having a think about things, sometimes time makes the decision for you.

oliviasmama Tue 21-Jun-11 20:31:41

Head....from one who went with their heart.

TooScaredToLeave Tue 21-Jun-11 20:54:54

I prefer to talk about intuition. I did follow it in the past and would again. I worked for me.
I followed my head for my relationship. Very bad move.
I also have followed my heart before re relationship and again it was a bad move. (So would agree with Annie on that one head or heart on their own aren't really good).

In front of a big decision, I found that I can usually trust my intuition (TBH it is probably a mix of my heart and my head) but that it would never work if I am scared. Fear troubles the waters no end and that's probably why you find it so difficult to make that decision.

Lizzabadger Tue 21-Jun-11 21:00:01

Head for relationships, heart for work, house purchases etc.

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