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Finally admitting that things might not be right

(6 Posts)
fairydusty Fri 17-Jun-11 21:17:38

Ok so after a bottle of wine on my own i am thinking things might not be right with my marriage and its so sad cause there isnt anything wrong with my marriage either if that makes sense.

We have been together for 8 years married 5 - two kids 3 and 1.

I want to be happy with my life but im just not its like there is something missing - i often feel that unless sex is on the menu my dh is not that interested in me. i have given up my career to be with my husband so he could follow his career - we are comfortable financially but i still work so i get a bit of me time.

Ok so here is the question is this normal - i dont know, does having a normal life get boring. I sometimes speak to friends who are going through seperations and wish it was mean because at least something is happening in their lifes - feel freee to be mean to me i am a little tipsy so i can cope with it. What should i do - My dh is not mean to me, helps with kids, helps in the house and i think he loves me. Is it true that one person in the relationship always loves more!

corriefan Fri 17-Jun-11 21:26:58

Try and see the bigger picture, it's a difficult time with 2 young children, you're tired and have so many demands on you. Your relationship could easily pick up again, try and do something with your dh. My friends who've been through a separation have had an awful time.

fairydusty Fri 17-Jun-11 21:45:09

We have tried to do things together and when we do its great but within a few days it goes back to normal - i didnt mean to sound like i think seperation is fun its more that the freedom at the end of it.

I hope your right about it getting better. And yes shattered isnt the word 3 yr old is up at 5am i dont finish work till about midnight and 1yr old get up once or twice a night for his dummy - so fingers crossed this feeling will go when the sleep returns

corriefan Fri 17-Jun-11 22:05:10

Really it will, you've got asolid sounding relationship, my kids are 6 & 4 now, they play together, sleep well and its a lot easier. Looking back I think I looked to my relationship to be the thing that made me feel like me but it wasn't possible at that time, it was an unrealistic idea. Give it time!

fairydusty Fri 17-Jun-11 22:10:26

I will i do love him and thats what matters - i just feel lonely sometimes - even when im with him or with friends not sure what thats about - sometimes think im the only one who gets me so think it would be easier on my own ( i have lived on my own with dd (3yr old) for nine months due to his work so i know it wouldnt be easier) - think im just having a bad night / week. Thanks for the advice - its nice to know the kids will get easier at least

MilkandWine Sat 18-Jun-11 05:45:52

I can empathise with what you are saying Fairydusty. I also feel alot of the time that nobody 'get's me' and that I haven't really met the person/people that will make my life complete.
Tbh I think some people are just made with a tendency to feel like that iyswim. I have interests, hobbies, friends yet I still feel quite sad alot of the time. I also constantly think like you 'Is this all there is too life?'

Don't know what I'm trying to say here actually, just wanted to let you know you aren't the only person who feels that way. Does it make us self indulgant and selfish? I dunno, possibly, all I know is I can't help how I feel and I've nearly always been this way sad

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