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counselling after abusive relationship?

(4 Posts)
hurryup Fri 17-Jun-11 18:41:02

Hi, would appreciate some views on this. I recently left an abusive (physical and emotional) marriage and then had stupid short rebound relationship with a colleague.
When that came to an end, I fell to bits and gp put me on citalopram and diazepam if I need it. Now not on diazepam but have short course of zopiclone as my sleep is awful. She's referred me for counselling and I've had one session.
The counsellor thinks I need psychodynamic counselling but actually I can't really face it. I know that I need to improve my self esteem but wonder how the counselling will help. I feel that support and the advice on here, esp the EA thread, will be fine.

Does anyone have any experience?

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:49:50

Do only what you are comfortable with.

You have been controlled, manipulated, pushed about for years. Take time to understand what the counselling can and can't do, research it, ask questions, ask why this particular thread of therapy is being suggested for you, and not any other CBT for example.

Take it slow, in your own time. Read some help books to start softly, and when you are ready you can look into more talking therapy.

Other option is to go with it and see if it does help, go along and ask them what it involved, and help make an educated decision about your care.

Personally, I think you may benefit from allowing the dust to settle a little in your life, to try to get yourself into a normal routine, boring though it may be, but learn to live without the fear and drama of an abusive relationship.

Diggs Fri 17-Jun-11 19:16:24

I had counselling via womans aid that i found really really usefull . I learnt why i had put up with it , why he was like that , how to have boundrys ect , but more importantly how to get to know myself better , and eventually , how to forgive him for it and let it go .

KatieScarlett2833 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:20:32

I've had 3 long bouts of counselling in my time.

For me it really helped, more than the tranqs in the long run.

I had a great counseller, that really heard me and understood. I had many jaw dropping realisations that came out of nowhere, cant reccommend her enough.

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