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How do you spot a needy man?

(24 Posts)
OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:20:38

Just interested if anyone has any pointers.

After a last disaster, I am now friends with someone ( I have said rather be friends at this time and see in future)

He texts 5/6 times a day more if I reply and talks about holidays we could take together etc, my radar is so weak right now I just wondered if that was needy or he just really likes me, dunno, but does text alot even if I don't reply

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:22:43

Easy tiger, your radar is off, well off at the moment and you haven't got rid of your kling-on yet.

Play it by ear, don't get at all involved with him and drop the holiday conversations right now, that is bonkers!

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:23:33

You need to be alone for a while, it'd do you the power of good to see who you are and not to define yourself by these men that you meet.

If you don't know yourself, how can you possibly set your boundaries?

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:28:25

Yes you are right, radar is not working at all well at the moment.

You are very strong, how do you do it?!

MilkandWine Fri 17-Jun-11 18:33:12

It's not about 'being strong', it is about having enough self respect to not let some utter knobhead mess you about.
Anyone can do it OBlimey, you can do it yourself by ignoring this man. He's a complete wierdo, why would you even want to be in contact with him? Next thing he will be waiting outside your house and rootling through your bins! Don't give him a reason to continue his oddball behaviour!

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:34:22

<laughs like a loon>

have you not seen my posts? grin Can you not see the scars? grin I am battered, bruised and man-weary!

I'm out of a 10 year abusive relationship. I fully intend never to engage with the male sex again. grin

My bullshit-o-meter is cranked up to the max, I can spot BS around a corner at 100 paces! It's not a nice place to be, but it means I can tell you to run for the hills when I spot a nobber! grin

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:35:19

Milk and Wine

No he is a good guy I promise, just scared I give off wrong vibes at the moment, but seriously a really nice person

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:36:05

Her Hissyness

I fcuk wish you lived in London

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:36:46


Going to read your posts now

MilkandWine Fri 17-Jun-11 18:39:34

OBlimey, I'm sorry but I read your other thread and he is NOT a good guy, he is an oddball and you do not need him in your life.

I'm sorry but I despair of women defending to the death the complete fruitloop they have attached themself too! If he was a nice guy you wouldn't be posting a thread about the 250 red flags he has flying around him at full mast.

Just stay away ffs!

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:42:11

Milk and wine

No I meant the new person, I kinda know old one bad, but don't want to go fat to frying pan

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:42:29

oh shit... don't have nightmares eh OBlimey!

I'm only down the M3, so an hour away....

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:43:22

Thank you HerHissyness


HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:43:35

Take some time for you, if this guy is a friend, he'll be cool with it. If he is a good bloke, he will wait.

You need to learn about you love.

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:44:34

Thing is, you could be giving off bad/weird vibes at the moment, so just take everything slow, analyse it all and have fun, but don't get involved.

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 18:49:11

Thank you , I homestly think imposs to give good vibes after ending 6/7 year relationship, I did it, but a mess!

hurryup Fri 17-Jun-11 18:49:59

My rebound twat texted me at least 15 - 20 times a day. He'd email as well and would ring every day, starting at 8. He was in a bad place but even so. He then was in love with me after a week, wanted me with him when he died, planned our finances, planned our life. He spent the last 3 weeks of a 6 week relationship drinking excessively and talking about his ex's but how much he loved me. (although he didn't ask much about me, if anything actually). Not sure if he was needy or a manipulative shit taking advantage as I'd just left an abusive marriage. My advice would be if you have ANY doubts, stay well clear.

caramelwaffle Fri 17-Jun-11 18:59:51

OBlimey - if you have to ask love, best leave him alone.
Get some girlfriends/female colleagues together and go out and have a blast. Seriously. If he is a good bloke, he'll leave you alone for a few months a while - and wait.

Create a life for yourself and, if you want, let him come to you then.

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 19:01:42

Thank you, I think I am fcuked up at moment

hurryup Fri 17-Jun-11 19:07:15

Oblimey - you're not alone so don't le tit get you down. Recognizing that you aren't in a good way is half the battle. Why do you think you're fcuked up?

hurryup Fri 17-Jun-11 19:07:51

Ha, that was supposed to say LET IT, Not LE TIT!!! sorry

OBlimey Fri 17-Jun-11 19:09:55

fCUKED UP as ended a 6 year patnership, he still wants me back, I am looking for love I think and therefore vulnerable< not sure

Icouldabeensomebody Fri 17-Jun-11 20:03:34

Don't want a needy man (declares undying love on date no 1, wants to move in on date no 2, lives in a midden, takes his washing home to his mother) but do not want to be needy myself - hell, if I had the time to learn I'd do the plumbing and service the car!

Anniegetyourgun Sat 18-Jun-11 08:43:30

Icouldabeen, I married that man.

He's back on the market if anyone wants one, but is probably too old for most of you.

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