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Ex Holding Passports, need help from school

(13 Posts)
runragged Fri 17-Jun-11 06:14:32

Hi,

Does anyone know the position a school can take. My ex and I have been through a very nasty divorce. However he does see the children regularly and one day a week collects them from school.

His personal life is spiralling out out control with his new dp and her son, he is being very unreasonable, his business is in trouble and he is saying the most awful things to my children to the point where I really think he may be losing it - and I don't mean that unkindly.

I asked the school to only allow the children to leave with him as per our official arrangement and to let me know if he collects them early on other days etc, but their response was that they can't get involved.

Is this right? I am the parent with care, I am worried about my children, the school must be able to liase with me on some level? He is refusing to return their passports and I know he can't leave the country without my permission but ...

What can I ask the school do do, within reason?

Thank you

chris123456 Fri 17-Jun-11 07:16:29

Don't get involved in the arrangements on days when it is your children's father day to collect from school. However you may view his life, if it is agreed that he collects one day a week then respect that.

blackeyedsusan Fri 17-Jun-11 07:26:37

if he is on the birth certificate /has parental responsibility there is niothing they can do to stop him. see a solicitor if you think he is likely to harm the children/do a runner and get residence. (at least try)

OddBoots Fri 17-Jun-11 07:26:51

The school cannot prevent someone with parental responsibility collecting their own child whatever time of day, that would be kidnapping. Most schools would give a courtesy call the other parent if asked to do so if a child is collected outside of the normal collection time though.

If you are concerned for the safety then the courts are the way to go.

topazmcgonagall Fri 17-Jun-11 07:36:13

If you really think you've got cause to worry reunite has information about how to make an application to the court for a prohibited steps order to prevent the child being taken out of the country.

sabine Fri 17-Jun-11 07:39:39

Hi, you HAVE to get this sorted properly. See a good family law solicitor ( Women's aid are usually good at recommending someone who will take you seriously). I would be quite alarmed if someone was holding on to passports. Yes, he has parental responsibility, however this can be limited with a variety of court orders under the childrens act. These orders will define who has care of the children (residence order) and when he can see them (contact order). If there is a real risk of abduction other orders can be made.
At court the passport issue can also be addressed.
If you are able to wave a court order at them, the school will be more co-operative.
Above all, if you are actually worried about your children suffering harm, you do not hand them over and let him take it back to court.

Bucharest Fri 17-Jun-11 07:41:09

www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTransport/Passports/Applyingforaneworrenewedchildpassport/DG_174106

What the UKBA says about passports.

sabine Fri 17-Jun-11 07:42:26

Oh, I forgot keep a clear record of all things said, texted etc. If you go through court and a report needs to be made that can be helpful.

runragged Fri 17-Jun-11 11:23:03

Thank you everyone, such reasonable responses. I cannot believe that it has come to this, at the end of the day all I want to know is where my children are and if I think they are in school and they are not then I should be told. He has PR but I am the parent with care - you think it would stand for something.

sabine Fri 17-Jun-11 20:00:30

Has the fact that you are parent with care been established by court order or is it an arrangement you made? Don't want to scare you, but the passport issue would worry me greatly. Is there anywhere he would / could take the children to of he put his mind to it? I appreciate that in a normal situation this may sound alarmist but while he may not be supposed or allowed to remove your children from the country, nobody will ask about that if he was to turn up at an airport or port with the children.

sabine Fri 17-Jun-11 20:00:55

Has the fact that you are parent with care been established by court order or is it an arrangement you made? Don't want to scare you, but the passport issue would worry me greatly. Is there anywhere he would / could take the children to of he put his mind to it? I appreciate that in a normal situation this may sound alarmist but while he may not be supposed or allowed to remove your children from the country, nobody will ask about that if he was to turn up at an airport or port with the children.

veritythebrave Fri 17-Jun-11 20:47:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runragged Fri 17-Jun-11 21:00:29

The PWC issue was established during the divorce and the contact has been agreed with the solicitor. Thank you for your advice, I just hoped someone would be able to say "The school have to inform you and you can find it here"...like anything with the children it's never black and white.

Thank you all.

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