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Can someone help me please....

(13 Posts)
fizzfiend Thu 16-Jun-11 05:36:49

have been having a stupid thing with a womanising man who cares next to nothing about me. It's taken me a couple of years to realise I have been a complete mug. I've been available, and in denial that he is an arse. I'm embarrassed by my behaviour - He knows I will always drop everything for him and treats me accordingly. He is a fuck wit but I know I must share the blame too.

He still gets in touch and we meet every now and again. But no more - I've finally found some dignity.

So what is the best way to ditch him? Simply ignoring his texts seems childish and almost as though I give a crap by creating drama. I do want to piss him off too - he doesn't deserve being let off the hook lightly. What should I do when he next gets in touch? What would you do?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 16-Jun-11 05:41:05

How does he usually get in touch? Several months no contact and then a text saying 'fancy a shag', or what?

fuzzpigFriday Thu 16-Jun-11 05:44:54

Actually I'd say ignoring him is the way to go. Probably less drama than overtly saying anything.

allhailtheaubergine Thu 16-Jun-11 05:46:33

I think a dignified moral highground is the best course of action.

"No thanks" next time he gets in touch.

Any theatricals or 'clever speeches' only play into his ego that he is worth the heartache. He means nothing to you. Don't give him the pleasure of thinking otherwise.

mummytime Thu 16-Jun-11 06:24:13

Go out and as my DD would say "get a life". Do a class, make new friends (do stuff with your kids if you have any), get busy. I would really suggest doing a mix of physical activity, looking after yourself including changing your style, maybe a new hair cut and taking care of the other relationships in your life (friends and family).
So next time he tries to contact you genuinely are busy. It probably will give you the revenge you want now, as he is conused, but much more importantly you won't care .

fizzfiend Thu 16-Jun-11 08:10:24

trust me my two kids keep me very busy but I just hate when people get away with murder all the time. I know you are all right really - it just doesn't feel right...or just. And mummytime...I am really trying to forget him but when someone gets under your skin, it's not always as easy as just making that decision.

mummytime Thu 16-Jun-11 11:09:23

I know its hard. But I am hoping that if you get busy doing things you enjoy it will help next time he calls. A bit like one of those nicorette things, if you have it in your hands its easier not to pick up a cigarette; so if you are genuinely busy and having a good time, it will be easier to say no.

Also it may well frustrate/annoy him if he's used to women saying yes.

DOn;t make a big deal about dumping him, not only will that feed his ego but it will give him the opportunity (if he really is a nasty man and not just one who was happy to see you as a FB) to hurt your feelings in a spectacular fashion ie take the piss out of you, tell you he only ever got in touch with you because you were desperate and grateful, or something else that's aimed at whatever your weak points are.
Just move on and when/if he texts, just reply with a 'thanks but no thanks, busy these days' and leave it at that.

laiyan Thu 16-Jun-11 11:16:27

ignore his texts. For every day that goes by with you not giving in to seeing him, reward yourself with something. if he corners you somehow, then be nonchalant. dont make a big deal of it. and when you manage a whole month without, reward yourself with something bigger. and on and on. your dignity and self esteem returning will be the main thing you win

I had one of these.

I sent a text which read "Next time you decide you want a convenient hole to stick your dick please go somewhere else. I am no longer available. I've found some self respect. You are an arse so do me favour and fuck off."

Strangely, I never heard from him again grin

buzzsore Thu 16-Jun-11 11:33:54

I like that, fuckmepink grin.

grin Can't believe he didn't text back. Do you think I was perhaps a little harsh?

fizzfiend Thu 16-Jun-11 12:26:47

Thank you all. Yes, making a big deal out of dumping him will feed his ego. Didn't think of that. I'd probably screw that up and end up kissing him anyway (pathetic emoticon!)

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