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Friendship dilemma - that counts as a relationship doesn't it?

(3 Posts)
Earlybird Thu 16-Jun-11 02:37:09

About 2 years ago, I became friendly with a family at dd's school. I worked on a committee with the father, and had a few evenings out with the mum. We went out for a meal two or three times in the evening with them as a couple - the last time was in April, and we had a great time.

Recently, the couple have been quite cool. They are cordial, but not friendly - not like they used to be.

I know they are very unhappy with the school and the administration, and are worried about their daughter. In fact, they are so unhappy that they are talking seriously about moving their dd to a different school.

I don't want to be paranoid, as it could simply be that they feel tense when at school or are around school people. But I wonder if something has happened between us to cause this coolness. I can't imagine what it would be (wracking my brain for some comment that could have upset them), but if there has been some issue, I'd like the chance to clear the air and hopefully get the friendship back on track.

Trouble is - I don't feel I know them well enough to say 'look here, is something going on'. I find myself feeling increasingly anxious and awkward around them and maybe reading things into gestures that really have nothing to do with me.

What would you do? Would you say anything, and if so, how to broach the subject?

Booandpops Thu 16-Jun-11 07:08:16

I would invite the mum for a coffee just say to catch up. Then see how she is. You can say we havnt seen you lately is everything ok? I'm sure you will be able to tell on a one to one is there is something.

Earlybird Fri 17-Jun-11 13:37:07

That is a good suggestion - so simple.

Fwiw - I did get a bit put out with the woman about a month ago. Her dh had suggested we go shopping together to help her find a dress for a formal event. I would have happily done that, and we had a few casual conversations about when and where we'd go looking. We even set a tentative date. But when I called on the morning to arrange a specific time/place to meet, she said the day wasn't convenient. I was a little hmm because I had set a whole day aside to spend with her (I work for myself from home, so a bit easier to do than having an office job).

Tbh, I sort have been thinking she might make an effort to apologise/explain, but nothing other than this cordial coolness. It is hard to ascertain if the coolness is directed at me for something specific (no idea what), or if it is nothing to do with me at all.

And - typical for me - have definitely been over-thinking this.

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