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13 years on my own with the kids

(4 Posts)
Alfie2909 Tue 14-Jun-11 23:10:29

I don't think that I can do it anymore,

I left kids dad when they were 2.5 and 5, he took me to court for contact and he was given supervised contact in a contact centre on the condtion that he started and continued an anger management course,

He attended the first meeting and walked out, no contact since,

Ive done my best since then to bring up my kids to be healthy happy individuals.

We moved away as i have a Sis who lived away from London and my ex didn't know where she lived, alot has changed since then though,it was a choice of moving in with her and her family or into a refuge in the area we previously lived in.

We were very lucky to be rehoused in the area my sis lives. Kids have done great at school and are happy but I just feel so sad all the time,

In the whole time I have had one relationship with a guy I met online, it lasted 2 years and ended almost 2 tears ago, I just feel that there is nothing else for me and in a few years the kids are gonna be off and i'm just gonna be stuck here,

I cannot honestly see a future for me, I do not want to spend the rest of my life alone but letting someone else in now seems impossible,

My kids are teenagers now, I cannot put another male onto them now,

The way things are with jobs and stuff I think that they will still be living at home for a good while yet, They will always have a home here but what does that mean for me?

I do not want to spend the rest of my life alone, has anyone else been in this situation with oder kids,

I did my best not to not bring anyone in when they were young as thought that was best but now is so much harder,

YummyHoney Tue 14-Jun-11 23:15:47

As you say, they're teenagers now, so why shouldn't you date? You don't have to 'bring him in'.

Do you have any hobbies/interests? You don't have to be alone, just because you don't have a partner.

Can you go out with your sis?

pickgo Wed 15-Jun-11 00:18:46

You CAN do it Alfie, you can! x

Sounds like you've made some really sound decisions for the welfare of your DCs and done a really good job. Just hang on in there for a bit longer. Teens are the worst for taking you for granted and leaving you feeling like you don't count. BUT at least you can go out for a bit in the eves without worrying about childcare.

Perhaps instead of thinking yourself in to a future of lonely doomhood you could think about making yourself happier just as you are now.

What do you enjoy doing? What makes life a bit more fun that doesn't depend on meeting the elusive Mr Right?

tallwivglasses Wed 15-Jun-11 00:27:19

You've done an amazing job and made the absolute best of a shite situation. Your kids are doing fine - which says to me you're a strong, interesting person that some nice man (men?) would like to get to know.

Perhaps you should bring up the subject with your kids - how did they feel when you were last in a relationship? I'm certain they wouldn't begrudge you having a bit of fun now and again. Maybe what's harder is you giving yourself permission.

Thanks for starting this thread Alfie. Niow I just need to listen to my own advice blush grin

Good luck.

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