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stay or go

(9 Posts)
raychie26 Tue 14-Jun-11 11:48:01

i have been with him for 20 years and thought all was great up until last october when i found a secret facebook page he had set up just to talk to one woman when confronted with it he said it was just a laugh and she made him feel happy they have never met but had spoke on the phone and text each other some of the text were sexual after finding this out i have become paranoid everytime he is on the phone or the laptop i'm thinking its to her. i now find him on swingers sites and looking at porn all the time,oh the swingers site is where he met this woman, i am at the end of my tether and he wont talk about it,the tension in our house is mad walking on eggshells all the time

GypsyMoth Tue 14-Jun-11 11:54:54

if he's been told how its made you feel and he's STILL doing it,then i'd go,lifes too short

MeAndRoo Wed 15-Jun-11 16:45:18

If he is still using these websites and refusing to talk about it then chances are that he is communicating with more than one woman. Although it's only through email etc it's obviously still wrong. If i was in your shoes I would tell him that you were leaving if it continues and if he doesn't give it up for you then I would leave! Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but you shouldn't have to feel that way, do what's best for you and your kids.

humptydidit Wed 15-Jun-11 20:16:40

honestly? I would go.

I know maybe some people would say that it's not that bad... if it was just browsing these sites I think that's not so bad, but if he is still chatting to that woman despite you telling him you don't think it's acceptable then I would say ditch him!

YOu deserve more respect than taht

FabbyChic Wed 15-Jun-11 20:52:27

Why are you still with him? He is cheating! Maybe not in the physical sense but he is still cheating emotionally.

I'd offer him an ultimatum fuck off the swingers sites and this woman or fuck the fuck off out of the relationship.

You are worth so much more than him.

annieatnofour Wed 15-Jun-11 21:02:45

Hi Ray

This could be me writing this post - iam so sorry to hear you are going through this.

My H was ( and still is - since 2003) using all these swingers sites and then instant messaging women on yahoo etc.

It makes you feel so inadaquate - and you are worth so much more than that.

If i can be any help plse pm me ( my thread is help and support needed)

Take care
annie

humptydidit Wed 15-Jun-11 21:07:52

excellent advise fabby life is too short to waste on these arseholes

HipHopOpotomus Wed 15-Jun-11 21:15:25

I've had some personal experience and Sid a bit of research in the past. This kind of behaviour tends to escalate I'm afraid. It's all the secrets and lies over it too. Tends to kill intimacy in real life relationships! Does he have access on his phone ? If he doesn't stop I think you have a big decision to make. I feel for you.

AnyFucker Wed 15-Jun-11 21:18:56

get out before you spend the next 20 years looking over your shoulder (imbetween visits to the STD clinic)

seriously, what are you still doing with him ?

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