I've been with my DH for 14 months now, and we've been married for 3. He's wonderful, the love of my life, the husband of my dreams that I never imagined I'd actually meet. He's a loving, supportive husband and a fabulous step-father to my dcs, I should be (and at times am) delirious with happiness!
Instead, however, I'm suffering from completely irrational fear/jealousy/pain over his ex-girlfriends :( I just don't understand myself and it frustrates me SO much - life is so short and I'm well aware that I should be making the most of every lovely minute of it... but the pain and sadness that i feel when I think of them is very real, despite all of this.
I don't really mention it, (and if I ever do he's totally supportive) so it's not that I'm niggling on at him and endangering our relationship. But I AM suffering on a regular basis and I'm really getting quite sick of it now! I know I should really get some CBT, but it's not easy to get time to do that with my job (I'm a teacher). And I know that my probs are most likely linked to growing up in an unintentionally emotionally abusive household (my dad had then-undiagnosed aspergers)...
DH has a lots of photos of his exes, he's passionate about photographing his life, then and now, and has said before how important his photographs are to him. I've SO stupidly sneaked a quick look in the past and now those images haunt me - and yes, I've reminded myself that people generally tend to photograph the good times and not the bad... but how do I erase those images (sometimes of fairly intimate moments!) from my mind? More importantly, how do I rid myself of this 'condition' (whatever it is)... gosh I sound like such a nutter! arghhhh
I'd love to hear some words of wisdom, I just don't understand myself!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Ex girlfriends & irrational jealousy
knitknack · 04/02/2011 17:57
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