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can you shed some light on emails from porn chat sites etc

(17 Posts)
neverlookback Sun 23-Jan-11 08:13:20

i havent had to post on here for ages but sadly im back, im 10 weeks pg so my hormones are raging and i need some help to get my paranoid insecure head around this!
dp gets quite a few crappy emails in his junk mail from sex/chat/date sites and other weird medical sites offering to make his manhood bigger (i find those quite funny) i know they are from when he has looked at porn in the past which is something that does offend me but i know most blokes to it sometimes but he hasnt for ages or he is very good at covering his tracks. now normally these messages when you click on them are to a totally diff email address than the one they have come through on so i do accecpt they are just crap. but last week we had a bit of an argument and i went to bed at 8pm i knew he had been on the laptop but he must of figured out how to do in private browsing, since then he has got more emails going in his junk saying things like, hey baby loved chatting to you when can we do it again? and stuff like that, and these ones are to his exact email address but they do go straight into junk, and a few say exactly the same thing.
Yesterday we almost finished over this he denies every going on theses chat sites i just dont know what to believe, i could cope with just looking at porn but if he is chatting then i cannot accecpt that?

does other peoples dp's or dh's get these emails do they mean nothing?

this sort of argument has cropped up before and i feel like he is pulling the wool over my eyes but he isnt really that kind of bloke?

i am insecure and suspicious and paranoid but its because of things like this that keeps it going and now im back to feeling like i have to check up on him and try to catch him out? it isnt healthy and not good for my stress or the relationship. but i know my hormones are playing a big part in this too?
please help x

neverlookback Sun 23-Jan-11 08:25:07

just thought, he sometimes gets dirty emails from his friend could that somehow then make him get emails from other sites, it worries me they are all about chatting, meeting,etc not just plain old porn.

victoriascrumptious Sun 23-Jan-11 10:09:47

I get about 10 porn emails a day into my hotmail account. They are all addressed to me. I assure you I have never signed up to a porn site.
Here are some reasons:
His email is in plain view on the internet somewhere and has been harvested by a spambot
You have spyware on your PC
His email has been bought by a spammer and past onto other spammers.
His email is an obvious name and it's random spam i.e evans123@hotmail.com
His email is in the address book of a friends email and the friends PC is a zombie PC or has been infested with some virus.
Someone has signed him up as a joke (unlikely)

neverlookback Sun 23-Jan-11 10:26:56

yeah he tried to say that someone had signed him up but that did not work with me!
its the fact that its chat sites that hurts more, and for local girls so he must of put his post code in too
i have even signed myself upto the latest one and tried to search for him under all the names i can think of but cant find him and then unsubscribed and ill see what junk mail i get?

thanks victoria im really trying to see sence on this...

chosenonesparklyglitterybow Sun 23-Jan-11 10:54:21

Hi I have sympathy with you on this as im not sure about something i found in DP's history and am probably going to confront him today! There was a page in the history called adultfriendfinder- I clicked on it and it went to a sign in page- i could not see any other pages in the history but that sign in page was there. However on a positive when I went on the site on my own PC and typed nothing in it knew where i lived and started listing girls in my local area which was rubbish because they all looked american! I can understand your upset at this but it probably is spam but hopefully your DP will reassure you on it.

neverlookback Sun 23-Jan-11 12:07:39

hi its awfuls isnt it, i hate snooping and checking up its no good for a relationship, he leaves his hotmail acct signed in so its not like he trys to hide anything, ive blocked all the junk emails so no more will come from the email addresses he has already received but i know they will just come from others. And if he has been on something for whatever reason he knows now that it really really upsets me and makes me feel so inadequate and threatened that if he does love me like he says he does and has any respect for me he will not do this again, although i know he has figured out how to do private browsing so he can get away with it if he really wants to.
I have spent all morning trying to find him on these horrible sites, like fuckbook!! the emails in his just show "facebook" but then when you click the link its fuckbook!!
im not going to stand for it and this is the last time i give him the benefit of the doubt.
he is furious that i would not believe him yesterday as i was sure he had actually been chatting with girls, he actually told me to leave at one point. The thing is he is not very adventurous in bed and has never talked dirty to me!! but then i think maybe he has created an alter ego with his imaginary friends on the chat sites??
feeling a bit better about it now
thanks

TheVisitor Sun 23-Jan-11 12:10:29

Hotmail is a bloody nightmare for spam, and you do get emails like that coming through from time to time. I think it's more likely what VictoriaScrumptious said and would give him the benefit of the doubt.

sheepgomeep Sun 23-Jan-11 12:25:33

Hi.
I've found the same sort of thing on dp email as well. Dp does look at porn sometimes which I hate and when I found these emails I went up the wall with him as I truly believed he was cheating.

He denied all knowledge of these sites and these emails and after reading this now I think these are probably just spam, thankfully.

HildaVonCrapp Sun 23-Jan-11 12:27:39

It is so easy to innocently type in your personal details for something or other whilst trawling the net. My DP once did an online survey and entered all his details (unfortunately some of those happened to be mine ie tel no.) We were inundated by marketing calls of all descriptions and his email consisted mainly of junk. I too have oodles of junk from similar and I can assure you I do not subscribe to porn/sex chat etc.

My point being, it only takes one filled in form for your info to be out there and for it to be abused. Have you unequivocal proof of him visiting such sites?

IMO your DP is clearly leaving his email account open for you to see he is not up to anything. Take some reassurance from that and also quit snooping as it is fuelling your paranoia (sorry a bit too strong a word maybe but it could soon become that if you don't look out for yourself),it is no good for you or your baby. This mail is going in the junk for very good reason. It is junk and your DP's email provider recognises it as such.

I wonder how many relationships go belly up because of spammers sad So sorry this is coming up for you at such an emotional time but I really don't think you have cause to worry.

MommyMayhem Sun 23-Jan-11 12:29:44

Sounds like spam. I would try not to worry. However, if you are going to obsess over it, then there is a way to check his History, even if it's been deleted. I don't know how to do it, but there are lots of computer-savvy people on here that could tell you. Then again, maybe you'd rather not know...

StuffingGoldBrass Sun 23-Jan-11 12:36:47

It's almost certainly spam. I get spam saying hello darling let's meet for sex, etc, partly because all my email addresses are gender-neutral so spambots think I'm a man.

Very spammy chat sites, BTW, do not involve the likelihood of him meeting anyone, as the 'gorgeous girls' don't really exist, they consist of a set of photos and a load of different operators pretending to be each girl.

0karen Sun 23-Jan-11 12:41:39

Hi I et loads

If you sign up for offers, newsletters or similar you might find our address passed on to porn sites

Buying and selling email addresses is big business

What you really need are two email addresses one for your personal stuff, for friends, one for signing up for offers ad so on and even then you will still not guarantee your friends mail will not et ads for porn

I once signed up for some software that normally cost $100 for a sale price of $20 I found myself signed up to a dozen porn sites, each costing $30 or so and a hel of a job to cancel the subscriptions

Who pays $30 for a porn site?

Malificence Sun 23-Jan-11 13:36:14

It's spam and nothing to get worked up over, if he was signed up to specific sites then he would be addressed by name and /or account number, it's like the fake urgent bank emails, they are very easy to spot.

If he's on facebook and doesn't have adequate email spam protection then that is the likely cause, we got zoosk emails for months telling us we had dates lined up etc.

Is there any other reason that you are so willing to believe he is doing this?

neverlookback Sun 23-Jan-11 13:45:53

aw thanks everyone im feeling better and also a bit embarressed by yesterdays reaction, i was weepy on fri for no reason too so i know my hormones are playing me up big time, as they have done before when i have been pg.

I dont really have any other proof of anything, apart from ages ago in the history he had been on redtube as someone at work told him about it, and when we first go together he signed up for some russian date/chat thing as it "just popped up" and he was curious!(he must of been of something dodgy for that to pop up)
i am paranoid with a wild imagination and i do need to stop snooping and trust him more.
id love to know how to see what he has been on in the histoy even after he has deleted it but it would cause huge rows and break the relationship even further, and thats not what i want, i love him, im pg with his 2nd child that he so very much wanted us to have! x

Belle43 Thu 30-Jun-16 19:45:39

Hi, sorry new to this site so not sure if can still post under this thread about online porn/chat rooms? I really would like some advice?

Ginkypig Thu 30-Jun-16 19:53:54

Belle I would advise you to start a new thread.

You have posted on a thread which has had no replies since 2011.

Lots of people will not feel in the mood to give you advice because they will have read through pages of out of date information before they get to anything relevant.

So again welcome to the site and I hope you get some good advice but I really do think you will only get that if you start a new thread.

Belle43 Thu 30-Jun-16 20:09:59

Thank you..

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