dp and premature ejaculation, help?

[shatteredmumsrus]

me and dp have always had a good sex life but the last year or so has become very difficult. Basically he 'comes' really quick. I havent even broke out in a sweat and its over. He says we need to practice more a him stopping himself. it leaves me very frustrated (used even)and not wanted to try it again. Advice please as we are only young and its not getting better on its own....

[whomovedmychocolate]

Is he capable of doing it again afterwards. Could you treat the first go as a run up? :)

[Malificence]

More sex is the only real answer, try having sex a couple of times a day, he should be able to last a good deal longer the 2nd time.
Use the stop start method, you on top controlling the action is the best method as he doesn't have to do any thrusting and he can relax.

[Dropdeadfred]

yes - try doing it again half an hour later...and get him to give you a good 20 mins of foreplay before

[Malificence]

A drink or two ( no more) will help slow him down too.
Is he stressed?

[Scorps]

Some condoms have a delay agent in them, a kind of numbing effect. You can also hold his penis at the base and grip firmly between thumb and first finger iyswim - this will help delay too. You need lots of foreplay too so when you do have sex you're nearly there too :)

[loopylou6]

Hmmm I think you should try relaxing and massaging with no penetration at all, then he could pleasure you before himself or you should practice a stop start sorta thing, my DH has mentally counted how many times a washing machine spins to 'distract' himself

[Malificence]

I disagree Scorps, there's nothing more of a let down than only a minute or two of penetrative sex, regardless of how "nearly there" you are.
It results in an absolutely unsatisfactory orgasm for the man too.

[Malificence]

A cock ring ( that also goes around the scrotum) can help enormously too.
Lube always helps, especially if the woman isn't optimally aroused.

[Scorps]

I wasn't suggesting it was ideal, just trying to give ideas so she isn't so frustrated.

[Dropdeadfred]

OP - how many times do you have sex a week??

[PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow]

pre-wank an hour before shagging should help

[Malificence]

OP, if it's any consolation, sex is pretty crap for him too while this is happening.
He won't feel in any way satisfied either.

I have been there, when DH used to work away a lot.

[NoNamesNoPackDrill]

There is a highly successful Masters and Johnson treatment for this which works permanently for more than 90 percent of those who practise it.

It is a programme of gradual increased stimulation by a partner almost to orgasm (the man has so say STOP before he actually comes) four times before letting go all the way. It starts with a hand job, then a hand job with vaseline, then penetration lying on your side then woman on top and so on. Each step needs about six attempts to consolidate it.

If you can find the book it will explain it much better than I can. But it is quite fun to do!

[NoNamesNoPackDrill]

Apparently the problem is that while some men can control their orgasm totally others have never identified the point BEFORE the point of no return and this technique teaches that. Then they develop some voluntary control over it. Like peeing or something!

[Malificence]

A hand job with vaseline sounds revolting!

Lube is much nicer.

Seriously, daily sex for a week or two should sort this out - him being relaxed is the key.

[NoNamesNoPackDrill]

Does it? My sex life relies on vaseline!

[BenHer]

I agree with PATCDS.Saves getting your kit off for a couple of minutes performance!

[PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow]

[Malificence]

NoNames, then you are missing out spectacularly.

[trulyscrummy]

Speaking as a chap, may I respectfully suggest he spanks his monkey beforehand - or you do it for him! Then leave on cooling tray for half an hour while dish has a couple of packets of Monster Munch. Et voila!

[whomovedmychocolate]

Please tell me at least some of the last post was euphemistic.

[loopylou6]

Oh no. not you again. shouldn't you be pissin all over someone at a 'nature' park.

[trulyscrummy]

Well, part metaphor. Take Monster Munch quite literally, though

[loopylou6]

And do you take 'monster munch' nicely whilst jizzing all over your hands whilst trolling on a parenting website? You sick individual.

[trulyscrummy]

I'm a bloke. I don't do multi-tasking