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How do you know when you've met The One?

(41 Posts)
TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 13-Jul-10 11:49:01

I mean, the person you'll be with forever?

Because I think I have

But maybe I'm just a little overexcited grin

I recall a couple of friends, when they met their partners, just "knew", right from the moment they met. I always thought this level of certainty was fantasy, but they're still together now, both couples 10 years down the line, both very, very happy and just brilliant together.

Maybe it was self fulfilling prophecy?

Dunno. What do you think?

BrittanyBeers Tue 13-Jul-10 12:03:08

I just knew.
It was never an issue IYSWIM, as it was such a no-brainer for either of us.<<lucky>>

Congrats by the way!
Very exciting!

AMumInScotland Tue 13-Jul-10 12:04:06

I think it's a mix of meeting a right person (I don't think it's the only right person in the world, just a person who is right), and being at the right stage in your lives to want to settle down together.

But yes, I think subconsciously you can feel that it all clicks into place in a way which is likely to be long-lasting, from quite an early stage in your relationship. Not sure about it being the first time you meet though - I reckon sometimes that turns out to be right, but often not when you get to know them better. You hear about the ones who "just knew when their eyes met" and subsequently made a go of it, but not so much about the ones who that happened to, then decided on the second date that he was actually a complete waste of space.

compo Tue 13-Jul-10 12:05:17

1. In the beginning you think about them all the time
2. You imagine a future with them
3. You fancy them all hours of the day

Then you get married and have kids and you tolerate them grin

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 13-Jul-10 12:15:31

Hehehe AMIS & compo smile

I've embarked on relationships before where I've thought about them all the time, fantasised about the future etc. But this is different.

LittleMumSmall Tue 13-Jul-10 12:29:46

I agree with AMumInScotland - timing is everything. I do think a little bit of chemistry helps, but if you have shared interests and values, you've probably backed a winner.

I met DH at a speed dating event where we discovered within three minutes that we were both reading the same book - that was 6 years ago and we've never looked back! Still amazed it happened that way. Good luck OP, hope he is the one!

primrose22 Tue 13-Jul-10 13:00:14

I knew the moment I saw my ex, the full rooted to the spot and a sense of I don't know, a sort of 'I'm here' feeling. 10 years later, while out with him I glanced across the room and had the exact same feeling when I saw someone else. It made me feel very sick and scared and, well its a v.long but eventually happy tale.
Enjoy it! It sounds like you've met someone v.special and I really think you can just know that someone is the 'one' right from the start : )

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 13-Jul-10 13:00:32

Sounds like people are not convinced of the concept of "the one" - more about the circs?

thesunshinesbrightly Tue 13-Jul-10 13:03:56

Ive known my now partner for 16 years, went out with him when i was younger we have both grown up alot and we are so happy together now and he is the 'one'

Congrates, wonderful feeling.

toccatanfudge Tue 13-Jul-10 13:04:40

I'd agree that there's not just "one" person that's "the right one" out there for all of us.

Look how many people have wonderfully happy marriages, but then tragedy strikes and they're left a widow/widower - but they go on to meet someone else and have an equally happy marriage as their first one.

sincitylover Tue 13-Jul-10 13:04:55

Hi I remember you MWSQ and am so pleased to hear this

Good luck.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 13-Jul-10 13:06:36

We actually met about 7 years ago, but it was the wrong timing - I was with DDs father, and by the time we had split, he was with someone else too. But we both knew then, I think. And we met again at the weekend, and just kind of fell into each other with delight.

I feel like I've come home, and everything's going to be fine now

<cheesey>

EleanorHandbasket Tue 13-Jul-10 13:08:13

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EleanorHandbasket Tue 13-Jul-10 13:10:12

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AMumInScotland Tue 13-Jul-10 13:11:11

I think the problem with "the one" is the idea that some people have that they "missed out" when they broke up with someone long ago, or never got the chance to go out with that person in the first place. So there is no other person in the world who will ever be quite as good as "the one" who got away. I think that causes a lot of angst, and is completely unnecessary. I think we meet a lot of people who can be right for us, at different times in our life. Someone can be the right person, but circumstances get in the way - but you can still meet someone else later who is every bit as right (or more so).

toccatanfudge Tue 13-Jul-10 13:12:07

awwwwww EH that's lovely

EleanorHandbasket Tue 13-Jul-10 13:13:01

Message withdrawn

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 13-Jul-10 13:15:32

That's exactly it Eleanor.

Oh, I am welling up (in a good way)

smile

toccatanfudge Tue 13-Jul-10 13:16:25

I love this bit of it

"This place is filled with happiness and laughter

Yet it is spacious enough, to allow me

The freedom to move around,

To live my life and be myself"

BitOfFun Sun 18-Jul-10 23:46:53

Oh I totally endorse the concept of The One. Or at least The One To Hand grin

I knew within minutes of meeting and talking to DP at a party- we were the only smokers there, went outside and chatted, and just didn't ever go back in. We've been together ever since, and after nearly five years we have barely had a cross word, and I smile every time I wake up next to him. Totally unlike anything I had ever experienced before.

We worked out that both of us had been briefly single at exactly the same point seven years previously. I was too stubborn to move back home after my split though, so we never met, and he was mugged and had his jaw broken and his ex nursed him and they got back together. He jokes that it was all my fault he got attacked, because I had cheated us out of our fate grin. He also believes that he saw me years and years ago in a bar (and from what he describes, it was me), and knew he would marry me one day...

<sighs happily, but waits for people to puke>

I knew, within 3 weeks of meeting DH,that this was the man I would marry.

I never could be bothered with a relationship as it cut into time with my friends.

With him, I felt like he was my best friend. <waits for people to vomit>

Also, he was the first man I actually argued with. Before, it was a case of if you're not perfect, you're out.

And he is far from perfect, as any of you who recognise me will know.

In fact, until very recently we were very close to splitting up.

But the fact that he listened,(eventually) and did something to rectify the situation and is (nearly) back to the lovely man I married, makes me think that I am right in thinking we will be old and toothless together.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Sun 18-Jul-10 23:57:45

Aw BoF, that is lovely

Are you going to get married?

(btw, I prefer you as BoF. Portia was good, but didn't suit you as well - hope you don't mind me saying smile)

BitOfFun Mon 19-Jul-10 00:01:47

I know- I'm not quite posh enough to carry off Portia grin.

We have been engaged since the six month mark. Times are tight though, and it won't happen until DP can sell his house- and nothing is moving here. But we are very happy, and it will happen one day. We have had our own little Blood Wedding ages ago, so he is my husband in my heart.

ifiwereamillionaire Mon 19-Jul-10 00:05:44

congrats.

I agree that it is a huge mix of timing, chemistry, similar interests and being ready mentally to give/take love.

DH and I met at a friends 21st. We both felt a chemistry but were involved, (short term dating), so didn't persue anything. We kept meeting at a mutual friends house and a couple of months later we were an item (11 years ago). We since realised that we could have met numerous times since 17ih but just kept missing each other fate??? timing?? haha who knows.

We feel matched somehow, (although we had ups and downs over the years) we both say we are in it for the long haul.

good luck

Bof, that's so lovely. <weeps a little>

Forgot to add, we had this at our wedding, seemed very apt lyrics blush

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