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Write The Archers One Line At A Time

(287 Posts)
PseudoBadger Wed 06-Apr-16 20:14:45

Do it like the professionals do it

Toby: I heard that that Helen woman bludgeoned him half to death with a wheel of cheese?

Limelight Wed 06-Apr-16 20:32:56

Jazzer: news to me! But then I've Ben working very hard

Limelight Wed 06-Apr-16 20:33:11

Been. Sorry

PseudoBadger Wed 06-Apr-16 20:36:29

Tom: Jazzer! Keep the pigs a bit hungry will you, they may have some 'special food' coming their way soon....

Gruach Wed 06-Apr-16 20:38:43

Maurice: A whole wheel of cheese? I love a strong woman ...

PseudoBadger Wed 06-Apr-16 20:40:51

Tom: Nice to hear from you Maurice?

Gruach Wed 06-Apr-16 20:45:29

Maurice: Sorry Tom - I'm going to have to ring off - train's just pulling into Brighton now. Give you a call after my er ... business meeting. I might be retiring ...

jobrum Wed 06-Apr-16 20:48:09

Brian: Hi Tom, was that Maurice you were on the phone to? He does about as much work as Kate? Has anyone seen Kate by the way? I checked a yurt...

Limelight Wed 06-Apr-16 20:50:23

PC Plum: Ello Ello Ello. I've been drafted in from Balamory to help Fallon's bloke collect door to door statements. I wondered where Kate was too...

BYOSnowman Wed 06-Apr-16 20:54:18

Peggy: Christine? What on earth happened to my pie? I could have sworn I had one

Beevor Wed 06-Apr-16 20:55:30

Lillian: Dharling make mine a large one, phanar phanar

NelsonsWineBar Wed 06-Apr-16 21:02:10

Helllllooo all. Am back from my travels. Bar open.

Mind the large barrels, don't want anyone to fall in, especially not with a recent wound. They might not have the strength to get out again.

Gruach Wed 06-Apr-16 21:02:21

Tom: Actually Kate nearly crashed into me on the Felpersham road earlier - she was in an almighty rush. Said something about going away for the week and needing some sea air.

Limelight Wed 06-Apr-16 21:02:49

Brian: Seriously though, where is Kate? And Alice and Chris? And Ian? And indeed the rest of my extended family? Possibly there is someone vaguely psychopathic living nearby who has herded them all into a culvert. Or something...

lljkk Wed 06-Apr-16 21:08:41

Maurice, I think you misplaced one of your butcher knives.

AlisonWunderland Wed 06-Apr-16 21:11:35

Sabrina Thwaite : ............................

Gruach Wed 06-Apr-16 21:15:22

Maurice: (Crackiling phone line) Now you come to mention it I did lend that Rob my second best slicer. He was hoping his Mrs might do something special for dinner. Must dash. (Off) Rex, me old mate! What you got for me?

PseudoBadger Wed 06-Apr-16 21:22:06

<new scene>

Tom: can you believe it mum, that Rex tried to push his damned pastured eggs on to us for the scotch eggs? At a time like this! Maurice was embarrassed to tell me.

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 06-Apr-16 21:26:46

Froof: ooooooooooh noooooooo Deevid!

lljkk Wed 06-Apr-16 21:27:17

Kate: Would everyone just chill out!! My aura is seriously like disturbed like. I can't take this hassle, you don't understand, you're all so selfish... I think I'm getting a migraine. I am going to go lie down and smoke a big spliff.

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 06-Apr-16 21:28:36

Henwee: Awwiiight

Limelight Wed 06-Apr-16 21:28:55

Pat: oh my god Tom! What pastured eggs? Did I just miss EVERYTHING? <sob> oh Tony!

lljkk Wed 06-Apr-16 21:29:08

Freddie: Oi!! Auntie Kate! That's MY STASH you're rolling up.

Lily: Oh Freddy, I'll look after you just like Mummy used to look after Papa. Now polish my shoes like a good boy.

Gruach Wed 06-Apr-16 21:37:00

Kate: Freddie! And Lily! Hello you two! Does your mother know you're in Brighton? (Aside) Damn and blast - Maurice didn't tell me he'd roped in two more people. My cut's going to be even smaller, unless I get rid of these tiresome kids.

Limelight Wed 06-Apr-16 21:59:01

Maurice: it's alright Kate. I brought my third best slicer with me...

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