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Spoilers - RnRN accepts (and recaps) Amex so you don't have to!

(193 Posts)
RocknRollNerd Wed 03-Jul-13 08:22:16

As requested by someone on the Lillian thread herewith a recap of yesterday's Amex:

We start off a presumably swish (but not in the Jennifer sense) Montenegrin hotel one bright sunny morning. Possibly Monday or Tuesday as there are references throughout to TigerLily coming home tomorrow (ie Wednesday in Borsetshire). Tiger is up for some early morning snuggles but Lil continues to work her Princess Di being interviewed by Martin Bashir sad-face voice and rebuffs him. Excuses offered include the fact she's no longer 21 and it's early in the morning. Matt harrumphs (hopefully not a metaphor) and Lil excuses herself to the bathroom.

Some discussion a bit later on as to plans for the day, Tiger bitching and whining about Lil's mood, Lil PrincessDi-s that she's sorry, isn't really up for anything etc. They agree on shopping in town to buy souvenirs for myriad posh (ie not married in via a Blacksmith) Archers. All listeners twitch slightly in anticipation of convincing 'we're actually on location as it's Summertime in Amex' accents.

But no! We find out that Lil has bought Peggy some Pomegranate stuff (she hopes Peggy likes it, which lets face it is unlikely unless it can be used to poison Kiera, feed to the cats or bake into some scones) and Jennifer will just have to settle for 'a purse' as Lil has lost her shopping Mojo.

Tiger wheedles that he wants to buy Lil some jewellery and <drumroll> we finally get our Borsetshire Casting Central (TM) accent from a shopkeeper - he could be supposed to be Montenegrin, he might have been already cast when this plot was supposed to take place in Turkey or he may in fact just have learned his accent whilst watching that Doctor Who episode set on a Russian's really very hard to tell. Matt proves he's losing his business mojo by getting a mere 50 Euro off a 600 Euro necklace. Shopkeepervich throws in some extra irony for free about how the necklace must be bought so Matt can keep his beautiful wife

Cut to plot exposition scene set in a church just in case anyone happens to listen to Amex and not the Archers (FFS!). Lil is interrupted by a British lady (who I swear sounds like Anita Dobson when she's reminding us she's not just Aaaaaaannnnnnggggge and is a proper fox-bothering actress and everything - sadly however it isn't Celia turning all Single White Female). British Lady has a Montenegrin son-in-law and SHOCK! Horror! Montenegrin grand-children. Lil cranks up the PrincessDi-ing and explains that she lost someone very close to her who she loved, can't see how she can go on, can't talk about it etc. <yawn>

Matt is cross and phoning Lil as he can't find her but gets voicemail...Lil eventually appears from the church and Matt clocks she's been crying. He suggests lunch, Lil declines and Matt strops off.

Cut back to the hotel with very little time left of the pod-cast so Matt is forced to engineer The. Big. Denoument. They bicker about why Lil is unhappy, she plays the 'I stuck by you when you were in jail card' and PD's about how it's all about Matt never about her....Matt keeps manouevering and asks her to just be honest with him....Lil tries to be dodge it but there's no escaping it, with mere seconds to go Matt drops the bombshell: he knows she was screwing his brother, he knows she was seeing Paul!

jingley jangley music and that's it until Thursday folks!

RocknRollNerd Mon 11-Nov-13 15:41:57

Gah - did more work travel, caught up on pod-casts then lost them all during a clear out on the computer!

Off the top of my head in case anyone cares/doesn't know how it ended the key bits of the last few episodes were:

- Matt comes back to the UK, Bren also comes back to the UK
- Bren discovers Dimitry is massively rich - Tatyana and Zak both work for Dimitry.
- Matt hooks up with a not-at-all-dodgy and very posh lawyer who offers to take a look at the contract Matt found on Nikolai's phone. Tatyana also has taken a copy of the contract and is working on it. Matt throws his lot in with not-at-all-dodgy lawyer rather than Tatyana.
- Bren has a crisis about can she truly love somebody so rich - FFS!
- Lils comes to London, Matt is worried about gangsters so tries to protect her, Lils gets the wrong end of the stick after yet more mysterious teddybears in hotel room menacing threats and strops off, then strops back
- it is revealed that dodgy-lawyer is truly dodgy and working for Vladdy, somewhere along the line a plot is hatched to kill Matt at a grouse shooting weekend. Meantime Lils goes all Mata Hari to try to sort it out and tries to seduce Vladdy, Matt realises finally what's happening and Tatyana deus-ex-machinas a flight from the grouse shoot to Vladdy's house of doom where somewhere along the line the day is saved.
- in the complicated 'leaning up against the fireplace recapping the plot twists and turns' it boils down to Vladdy=Baddy, Matt=idiot, Dimitry=good guy trying to buy up companies which would otherwise oppress people etc and the day is saved.
- Bren decides she can't live a life of riches and luxury and dumps Dimitry
- the only bit worth listening to in all of this was the glorious episode where Lil decides that Matt is shagging Tatyana and refers to her throughout in her fag-ash drawl as 'Tarty arna'.

And I hereby promise to never get as far behind in recapping again!

CarolineKnappShappey Mon 09-Sep-13 16:08:07

What happened??!!!!!

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 07-Sep-13 16:29:12

Oh such an anticlimax

Somethingyesterday Sat 07-Sep-13 01:19:54

I think she kept it... Actually I'm already making plans for what she might do with the £££££ when she sells the thing.

A mega-sausage business would work well....

Eastpoint Fri 06-Sep-13 20:14:27

Maybe I misunderstood. I listen to podcasts to help me go back to sleep. they block out dh's snoring

OldBeanbagz Fri 06-Sep-13 12:37:29

I thought he did too confused

So who's going to have the next AmEx then? I'm betting Daniel or Pip.

Somethingyesterday Fri 06-Sep-13 10:18:32


But I thought he did?

Eastpoint Fri 06-Sep-13 09:16:38

I wish Dima had given Brenda the diamond anyway

JessieMcJessie Fri 06-Sep-13 07:01:10

"it's over, it's over at last" said Matt. Amen to that.

Somethingyesterday Thu 05-Sep-13 07:06:18

I'm just hoping all three come back alive.....

Eastpoint Thu 05-Sep-13 06:07:26

Do you think Lilian is going to save the day so she & Matt can come back to Ambridge in triumph? Poor Brenda it seems as if she is going to come back working for Amside, maybe in a better position. Brenda being swept off by a mini oligarch would have been wonderful, helicoptering up to Ambridge, having drivers in Maybachs hovering outside the Bull (I know Dima isn't like that but I'm projecting).

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 04-Sep-13 22:23:00

I am V excited about the concluding part tmw.
<must get out>

WatermelonSugar Wed 04-Sep-13 13:26:37

Hey RnR good to see you back!

Yes please to further updates - I'm sure I speak as one of the many who would love to know what happens but would also love to not have to listen to the whole bloody thing.

And when you've finished this, perhaps you could summarise episodes 1-244 of The Bugle?

mummytime Wed 04-Sep-13 13:21:03

Yes please!

ictiam Wed 04-Sep-13 13:18:17

Oh please do them when/if you have time....have missed your brilliant summaries.

RocknRollNerd Wed 04-Sep-13 12:48:48

Sorry for radio silence (pun intended), have been away with work, then on back now but have a massive backlog of podcasts - do you still want updates as and when I get around to it or has the moment passed grin.

ictiam Mon 26-Aug-13 11:50:34

Have really enjoyed these synopses. Thanks RocknRollNerd!

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 22-Aug-13 14:34:49

Brenlove - sancerre is generally served cold, you don't have to request that wink

And now her and fagash are besties - honestly, have they got the summer interns writing these episodes? Although I suspect fagash will be the one who figures it all out and saves the day.

Somethingyesterday Thu 22-Aug-13 14:26:40

Listening to Thursday. This looks evil. I think they may be actually using the fact that poor Bren and Matt can't speak Russian.... Evil....

Gigondas Sat 17-Aug-13 13:16:51

He seems to have forgotten all that olivia. Lilian also seems to have amnesia after all their relationship angst (not that I am sorry that we don't relive the mewing when Paul died).

OliviaIsOffTheGinMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 16-Aug-13 18:03:09

ooh do you think? Robin someone?
V smooth in the city
I cannot BELIEVE how naive Matt is being about all of this...
He's bin inside ffs

PseudoBadger Fri 16-Aug-13 09:17:34

Ok so this guy who Matt has met in London must be the Russian guy right? I foresee Brenda and/or Lillian being kidnapped or in some form of mortal peril...

Somethingyesterday Tue 13-Aug-13 15:16:24

Oh! I meant the broadcasts. Not the excellent summaries here! smile

Somethingyesterday Tue 13-Aug-13 15:15:04

Dreadful. An absolute masterclass in stringing things out. One hazy piece of info per episode now. This is far too long.

HerbertGistcool Sun 11-Aug-13 21:03:58

Thanks RnR . Saved me the pain again!

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