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And my next Archers rant will be...

(58 Posts)
DuaneDibbley Sat 29-Sep-12 09:46:50

WTF have they done to Fallon??! What a simpering, desperate, insecure 'girl' they've turned her into AND now they're going to land her with boring as sin Rhys angry

R4 Mon 01-Oct-12 10:55:29

Agreeing with you again Duane. Whilst we are on the subject of personality transplants, what was that about Jazzer and his disallowed entry to the F&P show. Why/what/how <explodes in confusion> does he have a breadmaker in his kitchen!?

DuaneDibbley Mon 01-Oct-12 11:59:13

Um... Harry must have left it behind during his completely ridiculous exit from Ambridge?

GrendelsMum Mon 01-Oct-12 15:27:49

It's not as daft as it sounds - there was a scene where Harry gave Jazzer all his stuff as Loverboy already has a better breadmaker, food processor, iron etc (in addition to his own beautiful home in the Scottish borders) and Jazzer made sarcastic noises about what he was going to do with them (i.e. sell them).

Isn't Rhys dull, though? Maybe Jazzer could sell Rhys.

DuaneDibbley Mon 01-Oct-12 15:51:56

Rhys is SO dull! And I almost never think that, so they must be making an extra special effort on the dullness front.

R4 Tue 02-Oct-12 10:04:28

Thank you GrendelsMum.
In days of yore, I would have known this. Did I miss this nugget because I'm not really listening properly to TA any more or is it because it was on AmEx.

lalalonglegs Tue 02-Oct-12 10:32:10

Another occasional listener - why did Harry leave? (Agree with everything you say about Fallon and Rhys - why can't they get that woman a decent storyline?)

GrendelsMum Tue 02-Oct-12 15:09:57

Lala - you've got no chance of knowing why Harry left unless you've dedicated your life to flipping back and forth between AmEx and TA.

Basically, Fallon, Harry, Jazzer and Kirsty drove Fallon's van up north, trying to get to the Edinburgh festival, which was really supposed to be Fallon's chance to finally get off with Harry (Jazzer had invited himself along and Kirsty was invited to try to distract Jazzer). They broke down on the remote Scottish borders, but luckily Harry recognised it as being only a few miles from where the great love of his life lived. The love of his life turned out to be a young man called Grant, who has an adorable dog, a wood-burning stove, a very nice house, and his own iron, breadmaker, food processor, etc etc. Sadly they had quarrelled, leaving Harry to throw it all up and become a milkman in Ambridge and share a flat with Jazzer. On remembering what he'd been missing, Harry realised that he would better getting back together with Grant, leaving Ambridge one milkman short of a float.

Thus, the joke is that after all Jazzer's suspicions of a tidy cyclist who loves to cook, Harry was gay all along.

The scene with Harry giving Jazzer his stuff was definitely on TA, but it wasn't a very exciting episode.

lalalonglegs Tue 02-Oct-12 15:18:26

But, but, but... wasn't Harry going out with one of the strawberry pickers? (I seem to recall some very bad Eastern European accents - not the one that was genuinely gay and tried to get off with Ian but a lady one.)

I remember everyone going off to Edinburgh festival but then I went on holiday and when I got back Harry was going off and Fallon was finding comedy acts for the Bull. Honestly, you can dodge the Archers for a year and a half and nothing much happens (Tony and Pat still fretting over the future of organic farming/ David and Ruth still sighing and reminding each other how lucky they are despite everything/ everyone scared to death Aunty Peggy will find out about such and such and mustn't be upset) - it is unheard of to fit that much story into a mere fortnight.

GrendelsMum Wed 03-Oct-12 17:08:08

Oh, Lala, you are so behind the times. Harry is bisexual (as he kindly explained to us) and so likes boys AND girls, but mostly boys.

If you missed that, you probably missed Adam sleeping with Pawel and Pawel then making a pass at Ian and Ian brushing Pawel off, and Pawel talking to Jenny about how hard it is to be a young gay man in Poland, and Adam telling Jenny that he had slept with Pawel and Jenny being distraught because Ian is the only other person that really appreciates a venison casserole.

On the other hand, Tom's sausage empire is in exactly the same state as it always is, Matt is still dodgy and leering, and Tony and Pat are fretting about something to do with carrots.

lalalonglegs Wed 03-Oct-12 17:59:16

Blimey, that Pawel was a bit of a goer - I had no idea. (But why would Adam tell Jenny that he had slept with him? It makes no sense.) I suppose the wonderful thing hmm about the Archers is that I can miss all this stuff and it makes not a jot of difference - my abiding memory of it will always be someone chuntering on about milk quotas or potato blight - never a scintilla of plausible human dialogue or behaviour.

Note to self: do not go on holiday grin.

ppeatfruit Fri 05-Oct-12 17:51:33

TA is pissing me off too. Why would that LOVELY elderly couple suddenly appear in one of Matt and Lil's houses if not to be ripped off? so bleedin' predictable and now Matt's half brother has turned up (with whom there has been a bit of almost hanky panky so Lil (who has a heart of gold REALLY?? She stuck by Matt while he was in clink, why? she is loaded) can go off with a GOOD man and 2 fingers to Matt.

Apologies for the moan but it's getting to me ATM.

heronsfly Fri 05-Oct-12 18:27:28

I still think Fallon will end up with Jazzer, only trouble is, Ive been muttering about this union on every archers thread for about two years now grin

DuaneDibbley Fri 05-Oct-12 19:47:36

Well they did shag each other....

ppeatfruit Sat 06-Oct-12 09:18:37

Did they Duane??? i don't remember, was it on Amex? Were they drunk? i bet she regretted it big time NO NOT JAZZER shock (who BTW is suddenly becoming a NICE person helping old people etc.) The S.W.s are changing him radically for some reason maybe for heronsfly grin

Panzee Sat 06-Oct-12 09:23:26

Maybe his character change is part of his brain damage finally manifesting.

ppeatfruit Sat 06-Oct-12 14:19:29

Did Fallon and Rhys shag and she's disillusioned now? oh another thing I must 've missed Kirstie and Ifti (sp.?) getting it together; was it in Ambex as well?

GrendelsMum Sat 06-Oct-12 18:20:06

No, Kirsty and Ifti met and fell instantly in love at Fallon's comedy evening at the Bull.

f and Rhys have not shagged anywhere as far as I know, but Fallon Shagged Jazzrt On
Amex when she saw Harry with Grant.

Sorry, iPad can't cope with
Archers names!

ppeatfruit Sun 07-Oct-12 07:59:19

Thanks grendels that seems to me to be the S.W.'s having to have Fallon with 'couple envy' so maybe pushing her towards the gargoyle- like Jazzer?

heronsfly Sun 07-Oct-12 19:26:50

Maybe shes pregnant after her quick bonk with jazzer. grin

ppeatfruit Mon 08-Oct-12 08:18:10

NOOOOO herons grin

ppeatfruit Mon 08-Oct-12 08:19:47

Was the shag before or while Jazzer was fixated with her?

GrendelsMum Mon 08-Oct-12 09:03:48

Now, I have to say I love the idea of Fallon being pregnant after sleeping with Jazzer.

The shag was about 6 weeks ago or so, when they tried to go to the Edinburgh Festival. Jazzer was actually rather nice about it and attempted not to take advantage of Fallon, who then flung herself on him saying things along the lines of since Harry turned out to be gay she might as well sleep with someone who was interested in her.

The thing that always makes me laugh is that in real life Jazzer is married with at least one child, and I saw a photo of him looking very 'domesticated dad'.

ppeatfruit Mon 08-Oct-12 09:12:42

Thanks grendels I must 've been away!! HOW interesting grin she hasn't carried on with her interest though has she? (is she ashamed and regrets it?)

GreenShadow Mon 08-Oct-12 15:50:18

I don't think they could have Fallon pregnant after the Jazzer incident if it was only on AmEx.

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