New home and I hate it :((38 Posts)
Hello everyone! This is my first post here, so please be gentle. Hope I've got the right section!
Basically DH and I have just bought a new home in London. We've been super careful with money for ages and made huge sacrifices to save up our deposit, so we were really excited when we finally moved in last week.
However, since arriving at the property, I've realised it suffers from what every new homeowner dreads - noisy neighbours
We live in a one-bed garden flat in a converted Victorian terrace, and the party wall between the bedroom and the neighbours' property next door is the issue (the adjoining flat on the other side is vacant).
Basically when I'm lying in bed I can often hear them talking really loudly and laughing on the other side of the wall. They are a large family and so it equates to a lot of voices and loud noise
I'm at home today and when I go into the bedroom, I can hear the mum shouting on her mobile on the other side of the wall. It has gone on for the good part of two hours today.
I just don't know what to do and am being driven to despair. I guess it's not really the neighbours' fault, as the noise they make is only chatter, talking and laughing - they haven't played any music or anything like that (yet!), which is something you can actually complain about. They do have very loud voices and tend to shout quite a bit when they talk to each other - but you can't tell someone that their talking is disturbing you, can you?
I am just so upset as DH and I have had a tough year with lots of financial problems, and I really wanted a fresh start and for this to be our dream home. I've poured all my money into this place and now the thin walls are ruining it
DH hasn't mentioned the noise, but he must have heard it too. I think I'm scared to broach how I'm feeling to him as he does get fed-up with me and says I'm never happy.
I just wish we'd never left our rental property which was lovely and very quiet. Help!!
By the way, switching the lounge and bedroom around is really an impossibility, since the lounge is very large and the bedroom is tiny, with fitted wardrobes already built in. Plus we have no money left in the kitty!
Should also mention the property next door is council-owned, so the neighbours are tenants rather than the owners of the property, if that matters.
Congratulations on having bought a flat !
My advice would be not to panic yet . Whenever we have moved I am quite sensitive to noises which we didn't have in the previous house. It may be that once you are feeling more settled any noise bothers you less.
If it continues to be bad would you be able to have your wardrobes moved to the party wall ? A wardrobe full of clothes can absorb a fair bit of noise.
This is a real shame for you and I don't think there is much to do besides ear plugs when you are trying to sleep. I can send you details of really good ones if you PM me. The last thing you should do is start a conflict with them because you will move on at some point and don't want to have that escalate and be declared. If you are going out to work you will not be bothered during the day so much and noise levels do go up in the summer with windows open etc. When you are settled in you will make your own noises and not notice them so much. Try to focus on what you like about it and remember that buying it is a great achievement, the market is rising and you can sell in a year or two. Good for you for managing that after a difficult year financially. These old houses were never meant to be lived in as flats and noise is often a problem. You will make the flat your own soon and start to enjoy it, don't let the neighbours spoil this achievement or cause a problem in your relationship. One day you will look back on it and maybe have fond memories or maybe you will shudder, I don't know, but it is a temporary state of affairs.
Hi MB, thank you so much for the reply. I know what you mean, it can sometimes take time to adjust to the new sounds of a new home - and I have only been here a week. I guess I'm just beginning to panic that this is what we will have to put up with for the next three years.
Unfortunately moving the fitted cupboards to the party wall isn't really an option either, as due to the shape of the room, it would then mean we could the barely fit the bed in! Also the party wall is much longer than the side wall (where the cupboards are now), and it would give us way too much cupboard space.
I am just so worried about telling DH how I feel. I've been quite low for several months due to financial issues (now resolved). I was so hoping for a fresh start for the both of us, but now just feel so stressed out by all the noise from next door
Maybe you're right, I just need to give it more time and get used to the property, so to speak.
Thanks so much Rosh. Exactly, I don't want to say anything to them for the reason you mentioned. Also, I'm not sure how I can ask them not to shout on the phone during the day! They would most likely see that as unreasonable - and perhaps it is really I just love peace and quiet in my home most of the time I guess.
Our rental property was just lovely and practically silent (probably quite rare in London!). I'm now beginning to wish we'd just stayed there and not bought. At least with renting you can move away easily if you get bad neighbours.
Definitely give it some time, and try not to panic. Moving house is so, so stressful your emotions are probably all over place.
Unfortunately there doesn't seem a whole lot you can do as they aren't being particularly noisy, it's just day to day noise which they have a right to make.
If the noise they are making keep you awake at night I would mention it, otherwise I wouldn't.
Thanks Bowlersarm. Yes, that's the problem - it's not like they are playing thumping loud music or anything. They do shout and talk constantly, but I guess it's more that the wall just happens to be very thin rather than them being particularly unreasonable.
Would you guys mention it to DH if you were me, or try and keep it to yourselves? The last thing I want to do is make him unhappy and worried about our new home
I would suggest sacrificing half a foot and building a false wall along there party wall and sound insulating it. cost a few hundred pounds.
Have you got things like, carpets, curtains, furniture, pictures on the walls? It's not much but it should absorb a bit of the noise.
I'm unsure whether you should mention it to your DH. Maybe leave it a while because it sounds like he has found things stressful recently.
Thanks coffeewineandchocolate. Does that tend to be effective do you know? I've been doing a lot of research into it recently and have found a lot of conflicting opinions! The room is very small as it is, but half a foot is nothing for your peace of mind. Also, who would you speak to - a builder??
By the way, the previous owner told us the flat was very quiet when we asked of course - but she seemed to be quite a work hard play hard type, who wasn't in very much...
I second building a false wall. I live in London and have suffered from thin walls and noisy neighbours as well. It can become increasingly annoying if you dwell on it without having a plan of action.
Hi Bowlersarm, yes we do have carpets and a painting or two. You're right about DH - he has been under a lot of pressure and was looking forward to the same new start that I was. It would break my heart to have to tell him I'm not happy in the flat we worked so hard for.
Coffeewineandchocolate, thanks for the link - I will definitely look into that!
I would not mention it yet, unless you get really stressed out with this.
Maybe get used to having the radio on during the day - I loved Radio 4 when I lived in the UK, it became great background noise to my day and I like to think I learnt a lot by osmosis in the process.
Maybe do some online research about things like soft furnishings that you could use on that wall that would help dampen the noise? Some new stylish curtains, or a large piece of wall "Art"?
Give yourself time and be patient with yourself - it sound like you are working yourself into bigger worry about this that you need to, at least for now?
a builder can do it but if your dp it's good at diy he could probably do it. Get a professional in to plaster tho.
We did it in my dh's office and it made a difference. it's not silent but much improved. Its worth paying for the best insulation material you can afford.
You poor thing.
You've probably been so excited that you've finally achieved what you've been saving for & now feel your bubble has burst.
Honestly a week is nothing. You will get used to the noise, it just takes time.
Remember lots of people live backing onto tube lines & under a flight path & eventually learn to zone out and not hear it. You will be the same, in 6 months you'll be laughing about this, quite possibly to your neighbours.
Thanks Spamm and middleagedspread. You're right, maybe I just need to give myself some more time to adjust and get used to the property. It's tempting to tell DH how I'm feeling (I'm terrible at keeping things to myself!) but I know that would be so selfish. I do wonder if he has noticed the noise (he has been out during the worst of it!) and is thinking the same as me - or if it just doesn't affect him like it does me.
P.s. I have been thinking that if it became completely unbearable, we could just permanently sleep on the sofa bed in our lounge - not ideal but it's on the other side of the house, so should be better noise-wise.
hi there - I really feel for you - I am very noise sensitive too.
as other posters have said I would give it a bit of time first because it's all very new.
But then if it is unreasonable noise you can say something - some people just aren't really aware they are noisy. Although I have noisy sons and I find it almost impossible to keep their noise down sometimes.
But more importantly - I live right next door to a nursery with 60 kids in a semi-detached house. Our living room and bedroom is right next to the baby rooms. The owner installed sound-proofing when she did up the nursery and I swear I never hear a sound so I think if you do it well it really can make a huge difference. And so would any books etc to absorb more noise.
I had neighbours from hell before and at night I actually wore industrial ear protectors over earplugs. Worked as long as I slept on my back.
i am like you and cherish peace and quiet. ive got loud neighbours who spend their whole life in the garden in the summer and when ive got my patio doors open i feel invaded... i can hear every word they say and visa versa. cant move due to financial reasons. my home is perfect otherwise
Sorry you are feeling like this, I love my quiet so can understand how annoying this must be. I do think that it takes a little while to get used to the noises of a new house, so try to give it a little time if you can. Also there are always really high expectations when you have saved and struggled for a home that it will be perfect and your life will be amazing in it. Can take a little while to adjust to reality rather than the fantasy!
If none of this works you could try sound proofing the party wall, and I also find playing the sound of rain or having our noisy fan on helps to 'blend' noise and help me relax at night and sleep. I hope you can sort something out. I think money on sound proofing could be well spent if it means you aren't stressed.
Sorry you're struggling with your new home. Is the problem always the bedroom, not the living room? If it is, you could just make sure you don't use the bedroom much except to sleep. If you're just popping in and out of the bedroom sometimes during the daytime then it doesn't matter so much if you can hear their voices.
Hi Jan, yes, the problem is with the bedroom, as that's the room that adjoins the party wall. The living room is on the other side of the house, and the flat adjoining that wall is empty, so it's fine!
I take your point about only going in the bedroom to sleep. The problem is, the talking and shouting and laughing goes on until about midnight at least - and this morning started up again at 4.45am (when I woke up). How can people survive on such little sleep? I definitely can't!
Thanks jinglebell! Yes, I take your point about very high expectations. I think I did suffer from that a bit
I know what you mean about having another noise to "focus on" too. I think I will start running my washing machine when I go to bed! It could help.
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