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Noise and smells in en-suite bathrooms ? (not for those eating)

(74 Posts)
GrendelsMum Mon 17-Aug-09 09:55:33

I've never been very keen on en-suite bathrooms, but for various reasons in our house, it looks like we can have an en-suite 2nd bathroom or not a 2nd bathroom at all.

There are various reasons I don't like them

1) You are lying in bed relaxing, when you hear DH doing a great big shit. Or making constipated noises. Then he bounds out of the bathroom in the mood for sex. Sorry, but pooing noises do not turn me on.

2) As DH bounds out of the en-suite towards the bed, a great waft of farty smell comes with him, making the whole atmosphere even less alluring.

3) DH is frequently working odd hours, meaning that either he or I can be getting up at a time when the other is still having well deserved sleep. Showering next door is likely to disturb this.

4) What kind of bloody stupid word is en-suite, anyway?

Can people give me some practical advice on how to ensure that an en-suite bathroom is built solidly enough to prevent noise and smells coming through? (Or you can just tell me it's not possible, and we won't have a loo in there.)

A book I have suggests having a dressing room between the bedroom and bathroom, but that's not going to be possible. Another suggestion is to have cupboards up against the walls of the bathroom, which sorts out the shower noise coming through the wall, but not noise and smells coming through the door.

If you have a farty DH and an excellent extractor fan, please do tell me the make. If you'd like to swap your non-farty DH for mine, please send photos.

Portofino Mon 17-Aug-09 10:06:23

PMSL!

In our last place we had an en-suite and the toilet was pretty much next to the bed shock (with door in between). DH thankfully used the cloakroom loo when he needed <coughs> a no. 2. Can you not have a 2nd bathroom/shower room but not en-suite? That's what we have now and it's much better!

TaxiLady Mon 17-Aug-09 10:09:33

oh def no pooing in ensuite when anyone is within listening distance....just plain bad manners

and close the door!!

i do know somone who had an ensuite without a loo as she was so NOT listening to her hubby peeing like a racehorse in the dead of night

tis up to you if you want a toilet in there i guess, would make the plumbing easier! :D

BertieBotts Mon 17-Aug-09 10:20:41

But if you are likely to be pregnant any time in the future you will kick yourself if you don't install a toilet grin

Train your DH to light a match after flushing - it works (though we don't have an en-suite)

squeaver Mon 17-Aug-09 10:26:26

PMSL at your op.

We had all those problems when we had an ensuite which was basically carved out of a corner in our bedroom. I bloody hated it.

The we converted the bedroom next ours into a bathroom which is still off our bedroom so technically an en-suite but is much bigger and - crucially in my book - has a window.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya Mon 17-Aug-09 11:23:45

I suppose if the en-suite is your 2nd bathroom, there's still nothing to stop you/DH using the main bathroom if you are getting up early or doing anything particularly likely to offend? You just need to make some rules perhaps; then you can still get the benefits of the extra bathroom at other times.

elsiepiddock Mon 17-Aug-09 13:25:39

I make my dh poo in the d/stais loo!

mejon Mon 17-Aug-09 13:52:41

DH will never (thakfully!) poo in the en-suite as it is a) tiny, and b) has no door shock (and no room for one either). Even if I get up in the middle of the night for a wee, I tend to use the main bathroom which is directly next door anyway. We tend to only use the shower in the e-s as it is much better than the over-bath one in the bathroom.

CybilLiberty Mon 17-Aug-09 13:57:20

Make sure it has a window AND an extractor.

Make sure there is always a stout supply of air freshener avaialble (altho a lit match does the job just as well)

Always have a clock radio on your side of the bed so you can drown out the splashes.

We have a bathroom to oursleves, not technically an ensuite as its out the bedroom door and down a couple of steps. But it's soo worth it.

You won't regret it and the noises and smells aren't as big a problem as you would think.

Also, he IS your dh, not some stranger having a dump .

BalloonSlayer Mon 17-Aug-09 15:16:51

En-suites are a waste of time.

No one with any sense of embarrassment would have a loud smelly dump and then bound out expecting nookie. Surely?

When we had an en-suite we didn't even use it for a midnight pee. We'd go to the main bathroom. Even then the sound of the deafening male stream of urine is distinctly off-putting (do you think they bend their knees from time-to-time to get that sound effect of someone pouring tea from a teapot and lifting the pot up and down as they do so).

Where is the door to your en-suite? The door to ours was on one wall, making the part of the room between the entrance door and the door to the en-suite a sort of corridor within the room. We got rid of the en-suite to make a bedroom for DS2, and the part of the room that acted as a corridor to the en-suite became a corridor to DS2's room. We didn't miss it, as it was always a part of the room we didn't use.

oneopinionatedmother Mon 17-Aug-09 15:24:06

@balloonslayer

No one with any sense of embarrassment would have a loud smelly dump and then bound out expecting nookie. Surely?

we are talking about men here...

BalloonSlayer Mon 17-Aug-09 15:30:36

- yes I guess, although my DH has never even farted in front of me. He is very fastidious. Shame I am so farty really.

stealthsquiggle Mon 17-Aug-09 15:32:52

It definitely needs a window. And you need to "train" DH to use the other bathroom for especially smelly purposes, and to shut the door at all times.

disneystar1 Mon 17-Aug-09 15:38:03

i love our en-suite bathroom its huge has a big window and an extracter fan, its insulated walls mean you cannot hear whats going on in there, also to minimise noise if needed install or leave in there a small radio my dh uses it when hes shaving to listen to the news, yes you can hear the shower in mine but its not really loud.

we bought the house new and really checked it would be ok for us and its great and best of all its mostly mine all my girly things are in there, no kids allowed
the boys also have there own bathroom and we have a bathroom for guests only so it works out fine.

but i dont care if he leaves the door open to have a pee in the night i do it too shock
were not embarrased either weve seen all weve got many times grin and in the night were usually asleep anyway.

VeryAngryGusset Mon 17-Aug-09 16:48:13

I love my en suite too. It doesn't have a window but a smelly candle and a match, together with an extractor do the job (as it were). We also put on some music before we poo with the other person in the next room, or shout through the door so that the other person has warning time to put music on/vacate the room. Or we use the other loo.

muggglewump Mon 17-Aug-09 16:52:45

No practical advice but I've always wondered about en suites for this very reason.
Who on earth wants to share having a shit noise with their partner?

Weird.

My bathroom is right next to my bedroom and I've had to engineer having a shower randomly, or getting the guy to go downstairs so I can take a dump in peace.
Also, I've made situations so they can have theirs.
Shitting is not for sharing.

I should get a T-Shirt with that ongrin

GrendelsMum Mon 17-Aug-09 18:20:16

DH is very disappointed that no gorgeous, lithe-limbed Mumsnetters have yet taken up the offer to exchange their husbands for him.

He wants me to state that he is a millionaire sex god with the body of a Greek god and the wit of Oscar Wilde (but straight), who like the rest of humanity, occasionally has to excrete and pass wind, but does so in an elegant and even attractive manner.

On the off-chance that still no-one wants him, please do keep going with the suggestions, ladies! At the very least I'm successfully conveying the idea that pooing sounds are not erotic.

GrendelsMum Mon 17-Aug-09 18:21:45

p.s. I love the idea that men secretly bend their knees while peeing in order to make it sound more like a cup of tea.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 17-Aug-09 18:42:57

grin

ABetaDad Mon 17-Aug-09 18:50:23

Good extractor fan and yes I do everything in there. I just leave the fan on for a while afterwards and close the door.

PMSL at 'bending knees' to make sound of a cup of tea. Oh believe me that is not what is happening at all grin. It i sreally just to complicated to explain. However, if you are disturbed by the noise of a race horse or even a cup of tea beng poured in the night I suggest you train DH to sit down. No accidental missing that way either.

DW really believes our ensuite is hers and I am only allowed to use it as a guest.

lljkk Mon 17-Aug-09 18:51:37

I hate en suites for all reasons OP mentioned.
How refreshing to see someone else with the same prejudices!
Who wants all that hot shower steam making their bedroom damp, too?
Personally I'd probably give that room to a pair of teenage siblings, and take a proper bedroom for myself, instead.

disneystar1 Mon 17-Aug-09 18:58:26

are we on about a bedroom that has lost a bit of room grin or one that fits to the side properly and doesnt allow damp and noises to be heard grin theres a big difference you know.

mine like a lot others is a huge master bedroom complete with en-suite.....its perfect, as last poster said rather give it to teenage siblings....i couldnt mines a bathroom theyd have to come via my room to get to it.

Thenozone Mon 17-Aug-09 19:04:17

We have one - its used for midnight wees and puking when ill as quicker to get too - i use the shower every day, i keep all my women stuff in it and its predominantly mine. However, it is another room to clean which i could do without and could easily store my women bits elsewhere - it probably doesnt get cleaned as often as the main bathroom and is probably growing all kinds of diseases in it. We are currently debating taking it out to make ds room bigger, we will then make the bathroom nicer and have a shower bath rather than just a bath. We have a window in ours and when we first moved in it stunk of pee all the time which drifted in to the bedroom - it had wooden flooring which was like mush as obviously whoever used it through the night obviously couldnt aim in the dark <balk>

Armi Mon 17-Aug-09 19:28:41

We've got an ensuite, but it's a proper room (with window and extractor fan), not just a converted corner of the bedroom and it's fantastic. Our bedroom is on the top floor of a three storey townhouse - without it, if I wanted a pee in the middle of the night I'd have to fumble my way downstairs, a situation which has 'potential broken limbs' written all over it.

That said, we have certain unspoken Poo Rules, which are as follows:

1. The bathroom on the second floor is Poo Central at any time.
2. It's ok to poo in the en suite during the day when no-one is occupying our bedroom, but steps must be taken immediately afterwards to combat stink (opening windows etc).
3. It is NEVER acceptable to poo in the ensuite when I am lounging in bed reading a trashy novel intellectually challenging book.
4. Puke/wee at will, but keep the noise down and the door shut.

It seems to work.

starkadder Mon 17-Aug-09 20:00:54

haha! Very funny! I feel exactly the same. We have an en suite but DH uses the other bathroom for everything. Which is quite nice as it means the ensuite is basically mine grin Also it means that when he has locked himself up in the other bathroom for hours and hours (do other people's men do this???) other people can still go to the loo without having to cry outside the bathroom door first...

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