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Do you regret buying your house?

(35 Posts)
onthecraggyside Sun 21-Feb-21 10:56:50

Does anyone else feel like this about their house?

We moved in 6+ years ago with the very naive thought that this house would be our forever home and would only be a very small project, (redecorating mostly). In reality it is a money pit and renovations are still very much ongoing.
I don’t like the area anymore, and DH commutes 2hrs per day to and from his work, so it’s not even particularly convenient for that.
The DCs are settled at a good school, and like the area, so moving isn’t really an option (youngest DC has just started primary school), but I often find myself on rightmove hoping that ‘the dream house’ will come up somewhere, and justify uprooting everyone...

Money still needs to be spent on the house, (which we still need to save up for), and I flit between wanting to renovate to suit us, or to renovate in a style that will resell most easily. I also often wonder whether it’s worth spending any money on the house at all, and whether saving for another house would be a better option.

Our DCs have only ever known living in a house mid renovation, and we’ve put lots of other things on hold to try and facilitate the renovations. We have always seemed unlucky and have had numerous issues with tradespeople.

That being said, I am attached to the house, because of the memories with the DCs mostly, and the dream I had when we moved in of what it could have been (before I knew about all the issues), so I am just like a broken record continually flitting between love and hate. I’ve had many many conversations with DH about it, and most of the time there is no answer really. We did once decide we were going to move, but I then instantly worried that we would accidentally move to somewhere worse, and I would regret moving and uprooting the DCs, so we stayed put.

I just feel like buying this house has had some positives, but has largely tainted our lives since we bought it, and I now regret buying it in the first place.

I wonder if any one else has felt/ is feeling like this? And if you’ve managed to rationalise it and move forward in some way?

OP’s posts: |
alloverthecarpetagain Sun 21-Feb-21 12:37:03

If it's 'tainted' your lives I'd say it's time to consider moving at some point! Any renovations now, I'd do with one eye on resale, see it as a project to get finished now. I have experience of this as dh and I have moved a lot because we keep getting it wrong. We stayed at the last house just 10 months from beginning to end (after doing a lot of work on it) and this one we are now in is on the market after 18 months. Before those two we had a house for just 2 years. It's a total disaster really but life's too short to stay in a house that really isn't right if you can do something about it. So in answer to your question, the only way we have managed to move forward is by moving... We are determined to get it right this time, even if we have to move to rented to wait for the right place to come up. I wish you the best of luck with your house and would also add that when we had dc at school we stayed in the same place for 12 years so dc do make a difference and especially if they are happy at their schools and in the area. Thinking about it now we should probably have stayed in the 12 year carried away with the idea of downsizing and got it wrong and wrong again!

Iseeyoulookingatme Sun 21-Feb-21 12:48:22

If your not in love with your house now I don't think you ever will be. I would just give your house a bit of a declutter and tidy and put it on the market. It's a sellers market at the moment.

traintrain Sun 21-Feb-21 12:50:45

Not the same but similarish. Our first house had issues that weren't picked up on the survey and what went from a redecoration job because a 5 figure cost. After that I really never settled in that house, it was poorly built and so there was always something. It was of the age where it was getting towards a new roof etc. I was sick of putting money into it and it was always boring things like boilers which cost thousands with no visible improvement to the property.

Sold it, no regrets. Now in a newish house which needs some cosmetic work but not on the same scale. More importantly I can live in it without constantly spending money on it and dealing with tradesmen. Priceless.

Andthenanothercupoftea Sun 21-Feb-21 13:13:20

1. The survey missed some stuff so we spent ages embroiled in a battle to get some money from the surveyors.
2. Some stuff we overlooked as excited first time buyers will probably make it hard to sell.
3. We developed subsidence, which due to lock down has taken ages to rectify.

Hoping for final repairs to be done in a month or so, then it's straight on the market, before anything else goes wrong!!

Pyewackect Sun 21-Feb-21 13:15:18


RuthTopp Sun 21-Feb-21 13:19:46

My dh promised me that this house would be all done immediately. We moved in 2012 and it isn't.😢

Panicmode1 Sun 21-Feb-21 13:24:59

Yes. We moved from SW London to just outside Epsom, thinking it would be perfect for commute schools etc. Absolutely hated it and moved on within 2 years, and happily settled ever since!

MaryIsA Sun 21-Feb-21 13:40:59

What needs done to it?

DDIJ Sun 21-Feb-21 13:45:28

Yes, I regretted buying mine. I was so excited to buy it but it just didn't work out. I can't sell it. I can't let it. It just didn't work out.

Midlifephoenix Sun 21-Feb-21 18:21:56

I'm not sure if it was the house, more my circumstances. I had to sell my large family home when my husband unexpectedly passed away, and bought a semi half the size. I was not in a great place and my kids were very young, but my second set of neighbours (after single woman moved out) were not nice and were constantly banging on the wall for any noise whatsoever. I started feeling really uncomfortable there. I moved out and let it after a year and a half, selling it a couple years later for a good profit.
Oddly, the kids don't remember that house at all, though they do remember the house we had before with their father.

Signalbox Sun 21-Feb-21 18:35:34

Me. We’ve done a lot of work but I just can’t cope with any more DIY / work being done. It makes me miserable and anxious. So my plan B is to save like crazy so I can move to a house where the work’s all been done beautifully by someone else.

Ellpellwood Sun 21-Feb-21 18:39:55

I haven't, but I do now look at the house we bought in 2008/sold in 2013 and wonder what we were thinking. Night storage heating, the world's smallest second bedroom, no shower, just a bath. AND 6.99% interest!

We only made £2k when we sold it, and that was after new carpets, windows, shower and fuse box, but it was a nice place to ride out the property crash and build some equity.

bungobango Sun 21-Feb-21 18:46:22

I never liked our previous house. Kitchen was connected to conservatory and it was hot in summer and really cold in winters. The previous owner had himself done kitchen and bathroom and you really could see diy results. We replaced the rotting bathroom but decided not to do kitchen. We luckily sold it and I am not missing the house a bit.

CrotchetyQuaver Sun 21-Feb-21 20:21:06

Yes and no.
Our house turned out to be one of those that looked really nice and went through the survey fine, but once you peeled back the layers it was a crock. Really needed taking back to bare walls and starting from scratch. Room by room.
We had great plans to convert it from 2 bed bungalow to a 4 bed chalet. Unfortunately a bad debt in my business a month or so after we moved here swallowed the money allocated to do that.
Meantime all in our first year here, the boiler blew up in November just as it got cold. That revealed problems with the hot water tank so that also got replaced. The septic tank needed a new soakaway so it worked kind of properly (actually it all needs replacing, drains and tank), the tipper lorry delivering the stones for the soakaway fractured the water main so that had to be replaced.
Put in a new bathroom (original was beige but it had the most hideous brown tiles with tear drops on that I have ever seen, no way could It have stayed). the kitchen had to stay as it was and the rest just got painted. Got rid of the useless bit of front garden and created more parking instead. That was a real bonus when the kids started driving and we had off road parking for all 4 cars.
Nearly 22 years later, one child now left home, we are almost in a position financially to get everything done. Windows, roof, extension, new garage, new drains/septic, kitchen, bathrooms. It is worth doing, it's a bungalow in a reasonably large 1/3 acre plot, nice rural position with the only neighbours on either side. We paid £137k for it, it's more than doubled in value as it stands, and will be worth more bigger and modernised. We like it here and if we fix it up now, hopefully it will last us until we need to leave.
We have been happy here, it was a lovely place to bring up a family even if they were in bunk beds until the eldest moved out age 26. The garden is a bit too big so building on some of it will mean less work!

Pinkdelight3 Mon 22-Feb-21 09:55:40

If your DC have only ever known living there then they must still be primary-aged? If so, then I definitely wouldn't consider yourselves stuck there because of them and their schools. Get the house sellable (needn't be perfect, just enough to sell) and move to somewhere you like that makes much better sense for your DH's work. If you let this drag on till your DC are older, then you'll really be stuck and will have spent decades living with regrets!

Bluesheep8 Mon 22-Feb-21 10:03:36

My dh promised me that this house would be all done immediately. We moved in 2012 and it isn't.

When you say he promised, was that to do all the work himself?

RuthTopp Mon 22-Feb-21 16:16:27

The majority of work yes.

DaisyandIvy Mon 22-Feb-21 16:29:10

Yes. When I was pregnant with DC1 we moved from our lovely flat to a house that I liked upon viewing but disliked living in. It wasn’t very practical. I didn’t particularly like the area much either. I made a few friends, one of whom I’m still in touch with. I just never really loved being there. It was a very impractical townhouse with lots of small rooms. But being near a large town with loads of parks was great with babies and young children. I was never bored. I’m actually not sure whether it was really the house, it may have been more the desire to be nearer my parents once I’d had my own children.

We moved after only 3 years to be closer to my family. I love this house, we spent 15 years building it into our dream home then last year my H left. I don’t know what’s ahead now but I’ve been in this house longer than any other in my life. It’s still not perfect but it sure is home.

I think it’s just part of life’s rich tapestry to live and be in different places, some that we like more than others.

TokyoSushi Mon 22-Feb-21 16:33:08

Not really, our house is absolutely lovely but is on a busy road. We compromised with the road noise because the house is so nice and we thought we'd get used to it. The same house in the small cul de sacs in the estate are around £40K more and we wouldn't have been able to afford one. 2 years on and the road is still really noisy, we've never got used to it, but the house is absolutely lovely.

ColumboOnTheCase Mon 22-Feb-21 18:48:08

I have a love hate relationship with my house I love the house hate the location. We moved when I was pregnant with twins so we had to move fast and I was persuaded by DH to move out of the town I was born and raised in.

10 years later I still pine for my hometown which is only a few miles away but we would have to downsize and get a bigger mortgage I worry that the mortgage which is very manageable at the moment may become difficult if we were to increase it and the twins (who like to share) are able to have a bedroom each when they want it, won’t have that option if we downsize.

My friends and family live in my hometown, the schools are better there so my children go to school there and have their friends there. It’s busier and there is more to do there than the tiny town we are stuck in. DH doesn’t want to move but said he will if I want to, if he was little more encouraging about moving then I would feel braver but he has everything he needs here and will leave it entirely to me. And I am too scared to push for us to move in case I make a terrible mistake.

WildHorsesRunInMe Mon 22-Feb-21 19:03:19

I regret buying my house. I was in a rush as my tenancy was ending and it wasn't an option to renew it. Found a house that I thought I would be able to modernise fairly quickly however 2 years down the line I'm only about half way done. The plan is to sell up in another couple of years. I don't feel like this house is my home and I can't wait to eventually move.

Crazzzycat Mon 22-Feb-21 19:35:32

I bought my house thinking it needed nothing doing to it...5 years later and we were still paying large sums of money to correct the shoddy DIY jobs undertaken by the previous owners. It really gets to you after a while, so I totally get where you are coming from.

But now that we are at the point where we are putting in final touches, I’m slowly starting to fall in love with the house again. It was impossible to feel like that when we were surrounded by chaos and constantly wondering what the next thing would be that would go wrong!

gottakeeponmovin Mon 22-Feb-21 20:14:08

Never - I took out a mortgage that gave me sleepless nights and like yours it's a money pit. But it's my dream home. It's beautiful. Every time I drive down my drive even 7 years later I look at it and think how beautiful it is. Even if I had to move tomorrow because I lost my job I would be thankful for every day I have had here

user1471538283 Mon 22-Feb-21 21:58:08

My last house! It was supposed to only need bits doing to it! I had the bay refreshed, the joists and floorboards changed the lounge, repointing outside, new steps, new internal and external doors downstairs, new fireplace. I spent a fortune and we had awful neighbours.

It has really shaken me up.

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