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Anyone else had a wtf am I doing moment when buying a house?

(16 Posts)
Monr0e Thu 22-Oct-20 15:42:07

Last week we had our mortgage approved. All very positive.

Last night I woke up in a cold sweat thinking of all the things wrong with the house and all the reasons we shouldn't move.

I'm hoping it's just cold feet but has anyone else felt like that? It's normal isn't it? It's all going to be ok!

OP’s posts: |
maxelly Thu 22-Oct-20 16:01:52

Absolutely normal. In fact I think anyone that doesn't get that moment is the weird one!

Be prepared also to not love or even the house straight away when you move in, I know 'getting the keys to your first/new home' should be a joyous/'making memories' intstagrammable moment but every single time I've done it I have spent the first day/night in the new house hating it, combination of it not feeling like home/homesickness for old house, stuff in boxes everywhere, old homeowners often having left it a bit grubby or worse, work/decorating needing to be done before it's to my taste, plus the general stress and tiredness of moving has meant that I've never had that 'champagne clink' moment of satisfaction in a new house, at least not until a few days or weeks after we've moved in, in fact I've cried on moving in day more than I've been happy I think! It doesn't mean it's a bad decision or you've bought the wrong house if this happens, change is just hard (or maybe I'm just a wuss blush ).

wineymummy Thu 22-Oct-20 17:03:28

Yes, me last night. Our current house is solid, warm, completely renovated by us. Big enough for our family now (but not forever.) Our new house is large and tired but with tonnes of potential....and potential for things to go wrong. In the cold light of day everything seems less worrying. We have to move now to meet the schools application deadline for DD1 who starts next September.

Nsky Thu 22-Oct-20 17:07:40

Moving is stressful, and the unknown, not working stuff happens.
Hopefully you’ll love it soon

Monr0e Thu 22-Oct-20 17:09:56

Glad it's not just me.

I guess I'm worried that we have had to compromise so that while the house is actually the best we could have got for our budget, it is not exactly where we wanted to be. But we couldn't afford what we have bought in exactly the area we wanted to be.

Things definitely look brighter this morning, thank you 😊

OP’s posts: |
Werk Thu 22-Oct-20 17:19:32

Yes! One of the reasons I have put off moving.

When we bought our current house we were so excited and had planned what we were going to do in each room etc but on the actual moving in day it was such an anti climax - it was dirty, tired and the previous owners had taken out half the kitchen leaving about 100 holes in the wall. We couldn't even use the oven as it was so filthy.

The previous owners had really cool furniture and light fittings, all of which were taken, and we had a tatty sofa and an air bed (we moved from part furnished rented) and it felt like a different house to the one we viewed. I knew where I stood with our rental flat but in the new house I had no idea how anything worked.

Financially, this move is a big step for us which compounds the issue - we both worked FT and had no DC last time. It feels like a lot is riding on it.

DespairingHomeowner Fri 23-Oct-20 15:16:29

Yes! I’m so worried about being either:
- broke (if I move to my 1st choice area, where houses are snapped up before I see them
- hugely isolated (if I move to a great little house near work but miles from here/my social life)

That today’s bright idea is to just stay put (despite having planned to move for years/really being tired of this area)

I have no words of wisdom, maybe time will tell!

Solina Fri 23-Oct-20 17:19:35

Well the day we got the keys I was very excited but as soon as we stepped in the house I felt almost depressed by it. Dirty, dated and with bunch of issues we didn't see with furniture in.
Over the months I have gone from hating the house to enjoying it now. It looks nothing like the house we bought now inside as we have done almost everything and soon we will have the kitchen refurbished too. I suspect if and when we next move it will be even worse leaving behind a house that is all done how we like it.

MrsJamin Fri 23-Oct-20 17:41:50

@wineymummy I could have written your post! We have a lovely present home but the new house has a great location, plot size and square footage. I just know that on moving day I might cry but I know we can make a great new home from it in the end.

SauvignonGrower Fri 23-Oct-20 18:18:13

100% yes. And I agree with others that it takes a long time to feel like 'home'. I adore our house and village but spent the first two years wondering whether we'd made the right decision.

NoToast Fri 23-Oct-20 23:29:23

Yes, the first night in my first house I just sat on the sofa wondering what we'd done. I ended up loving the house, I've just had an offer accepted and feel really worried.

Plantlover101 Sat 24-Oct-20 00:49:52

Cautionary tale. About seven years ago I saw a lovely flat that I could afford and the sellers favoured me as a first time buyer with a big deposit. I had a major panic, put in an offer 20k below asking price and they sold it to someone else for 10k more.

I have lived to regret it. I ended up buying a smaller flat for the same money a year later after the prices had suddenly shot up. Even worse, I walk past that first flat often and my OH never tires of reminding me what a mistake I made.

Naturally, I can't afford that flat now. It had a garden, no service charge and a 900 year lease. The flat I ended up buying is smaller, has no garden and with a lease that now needs extending at great expense. Even though I love my flat, I still kick myself for letting my fears get the better of me. You could say that my panic cost me £15k - the amount it will cost me to extend my lease on my present flat.

Moral of the story: Don't be like me! Feel the fear and do it anyway, as they say.

notangelinajolie Sat 24-Oct-20 00:59:00

Me to. We will be leaving a big house with a big garden and moving into a 2 up 2 down with a tiny garden.
I keep questioning myself and asking wtf am I doing.
And then DH reminds me that it's
a)150k cheaper
b) Only 2 bedrooms will mean current doss house status for returning adult children will come to an end grin
c) we are moving to a very highly desirable road in the heart of a very posh village
d) he gets to buy a Maserati and I get to have the kitchen of my dreams hmm not sure about that one.

Can we really squish in? Will we miss our garden? Will the cat hate us and leave? No downstairs loo [shockand going upstairs is like climbing Mount Everest.

Monr0e Sun 25-Oct-20 09:49:03

We are giving up a downstairs loo too! I think this is the biggest issue for DH.

I'm glad it's normal. We don't have a moving date yet, everything still in the hands of the solicitors. But I'm trying to pack up a few bits here and there and keep thinking of all the reasons we should stay. There aren't many to be fair but the fear is still there!

OP’s posts: |
minipilling Mon 26-Oct-20 04:48:23

I was desperate to get in our first owned house, having lived in poky flats and moved countries for a decade. The buying process was stressful and I wanted it done, the final house was the third house, first one we had to pull out because seller dragged feet for months and we were about to lose out on our agreed mortgage, second had damp issues on survey that we wouldn't have afforded to fix. Was overjoyed when we got to completion. Moving day, the movers finished up and DH went across town to finish cleaning our rental flat before giving back the keys. Alone in the strange house that we'd spent a fortune on (only a tiny house but felt so much), I had a panic attack. Literally the moment DH left! I felt like it was the worst mistake and I wanted to go back to the flat. I had to message my friend to come round!

Bluesheep8 Mon 26-Oct-20 07:36:34

Oh yes, completely. I persuaded DP that it was the right house for us, he had a LOT of doubts but I was convinced we could make it into a lovely home.
Then we came round to measure for furniture when the previous owners had moved things and were in the process of packing and I nearly cried and thought WTF have I done? It looked horrendous and I knew it was all on me as I had persuaded DP of its potential which I suddenly could no longer see.
Thankfully once we'd got rid of carpets and got decorators in it began to take shape and I fell in love with it. It's normal to feel like this op, when you realise the enormity of what you're doing. Remember the reasons you wanted it in the first place. Good luck

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