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Estate Agent cliches / pet peeves

(104 Posts)
CoronaIsWatching Mon 28-Sep-20 19:19:10

What really grinds your gears on estate agent property listings?

Mine are;

- "For sale by the modern method of auction"
- "The ever popular x"
- "In need of modernisation"
- Some generic statement about being close to bars, shops and restaurants

Every day during my property search I see each of the above, drives me barmy!

OP’s posts: |
domesticslattern Mon 28-Sep-20 19:20:55

"Compromising of"

Jujuball Mon 28-Sep-20 19:26:58

The cheesy sayings in the advert like "This one won't hang around for long!".

Especially when they do end up hanging around for a long time grin

ShellieEllie Mon 28-Sep-20 19:32:45

Guide Price £200-£210K. What on this planet does that mean? Would an offer below £200K be rejected? or do they want £210k?

samlovesdilys Mon 28-Sep-20 19:33:49

It has been renovated to a high standard!!

Oohmegooliebird Mon 28-Sep-20 19:36:45

Isn't in need of modernisation a factual statement though? How else should they phrase it. Requires work? Dated?

mountains76 Mon 28-Sep-20 19:37:20

Peen & Fadge estate agents are "proud to present to market"

So pompous.

Pomegranatemolasses Mon 28-Sep-20 19:38:40

Houses which 'boast', eg this charming property boasts three reception rooms.

'Viewing advised'

Pomegranatemolasses Mon 28-Sep-20 19:39:32

Every area is 'highly sought after'

SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge Mon 28-Sep-20 19:41:26

The word “stunning” makes my teeth itch

Pfeffel Mon 28-Sep-20 19:42:15

Just seen one that offers a 'coir door mat'. Think they were struggling a bit!

Parkermumma07 Mon 28-Sep-20 19:43:57

This property in the cosmopolitan town of ....... made me cringe on a recent listing

2020isnotbehaving Mon 28-Sep-20 19:46:45

I’ve been living opposite a building site development which has billboards boasting of “private outdoors gardens” ffs gardens are all outdoors!!

FastFood Mon 28-Sep-20 19:48:04

"deceptively spacious"

KitMarlowesCodpiece Mon 28-Sep-20 19:49:42

'Benefits from', always followed by something that you'd expect as standard, like walls or indoor plumbing.

BabetteAteOtemeal Mon 28-Sep-20 19:52:30

UNNECESSARY capitals to EMPHASISE some total BULLSHIT

FatimaMunchy Mon 28-Sep-20 20:03:13

'Executive detached'

PattyPan Mon 28-Sep-20 20:03:23

Courtyard style garden/low maintenance garden = a few sad paved square feet

JoJoSM2 Mon 28-Sep-20 20:07:34

Just seen one that offers a 'coir door mat'. Think they were struggling a bit!

🤣

BabetteAteOtemeal Mon 28-Sep-20 20:08:27

'Unveiled to the market'

'Boasts a spacious master/a light filled living room/GCSE in social studies'

JoJoSM2 Mon 28-Sep-20 20:13:02

My favourite... not... is the agent whose listings go along the following lines:

Bedroom 1: double glazed window, panel radiator, ceiling downlight, power point

Bedroom 2: double glazed window, panel radiator, ceiling downlight, power point

Bedroom 3: double glazed window, panel radiator, ceiling downlight, power point

Bathroom: washbasin, low level WC, shower cubicle...

Really makes me want to buy every house they market.

Oohmegooliebird Mon 28-Sep-20 20:13:28

Pomegranatemolasses

Houses which 'boast', eg this charming property boasts three reception rooms.

'Viewing advised'

Yes viewing advised. Isn't that true for all properties? Are there some they don't think it's worth the bother?

FatimaMunchy Mon 28-Sep-20 20:17:07

One near us has twee little headings to attract your attention
'Excellence as standard' and 'Elegant Evolution' being two current ones.
One of our local estate agents has an Aspirational Homes range. No idea what that is supposed to mean.

2bazookas Mon 28-Sep-20 20:17:39

"Master bedroom", ugh

Tartyflette Mon 28-Sep-20 20:19:08

Yeah, 'comprised of' always used to irritate me but it doesn't seem as common these days, I think they've been given a heads-up!
'Proud to present' (this bog-standard 3BR semi....)🤔🤥

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