How long before you felt at home in your new house?

(28 Posts)
BoogleMcGroogle Tue 08-Sep-20 18:55:01

We moved last Wednesday. Not the best timing as it coincided with schools and work going back etc. It is an absolutely gorgeous house, just what we were after. But I'm still wandering around as confused the cat. The house is much bigger than before. I can't even be in two rooms ( box laden), I can't get used to the new sounds ( lots of dogs, goats), am frankly terrified of the Aga and I've only just managed to start eating breakfast again as I feel so discombobulated when I wake. I'm waking at the slightest noise. I thought I'd want 'new' stuff but am desperate for my old things around me ( childhood teddy has been rooted out!)

I'm not normally an anxious person. I've moved several times before, including to other countries ( this house in the neighbouring village). The children and DH are happy and seem settled.

Is this even remotely normal? I can feel it's getting better, but when will this pass? Any ideas to alleviate the feeling? I just want to feel home and settled in a house I know to be lovely.

OP’s posts: |
Mychitchatdays Tue 08-Sep-20 18:59:47

For me it's usually around 6 months, but I moved home at the start of July and by the end I felt like I'd always lived there.

Stephenfrylust Tue 08-Sep-20 19:06:35

Do you think it's the amount of change happening at once e.g. school/ work? Let yourself be comforted by all the things you love. Get your pictures on the walls.

Make some happy new memories in it, it will all feel strange and new. Think about the reasons you moved and liked it.

I tend to feel settled very quickly. My house I live in now took more time as it smelled funny ( still does without windows open) and we has loads to do on it which stressed me out.

Google Agas to see how to use one. I'd be intimidated by that too!

GolightlyMrsGolightly Tue 08-Sep-20 19:12:22

Current house, about 5 minutes. Felt like it had always been ours. Really helped that we had lots of help unpacking and lots of people round and we’d only moved about 1/2 a mile.

Previous house took months, didn’t have much stuff,...just took a long time. But loved it in the end.

Noidea2114 Tue 08-Sep-20 19:14:25

Day 2 for me loved my new home. Dh took nearly 12 months to settle.
Baby steps in sorting out.

BoogleMcGroogle Tue 08-Sep-20 19:43:46

Thanks everyone! I think it might be so many changes happening all at once. And also surprise that I'm the last one to settle, as I assumed DH would find it much harder. Luckily, the Aga seems to be his new hobby. This house is big and old. It's the type of house DH was born to live in. He already seems firm friends with the neighbouring goats. I grew up in a suburban semi, which was like our last house. Apart from flats, terraces and a Namibian concrete bungalow, little semis is all I've known. I feel a bit intimidated, to be honest.

OP’s posts: |
Hollyhocksarenotmessy Tue 08-Sep-20 23:08:40

I think the weird year in general is unsettling. I moved 2 weeks ago and think the house is lovely, but I feel like I'm housesitting. Never felt like this before.


FrownsAndDimples Wed 09-Sep-20 00:12:25

We moved last Tuesday. Same as you, day before school etc. Feel much the same as you. Husband has settled in, kids too small but seem fine. Its just me feeling like this. As others have said its been a strange year in general. Hope we both feel at home soon!

PickAChew Wed 09-Sep-20 00:17:24

About a month. Things felt. Alien before then.

PickAChew Wed 09-Sep-20 00:18:52

Didn't help that mil died a week after we moved in.

GrumpyHoonMain Wed 09-Sep-20 00:19:56

We moved last Sunday. It started feeling more like home when the boxes were packed but it still feels odd. I am worse when I go outside - it’s just so different to what I’m used to. Nicer, bigger, the neighbours are posher too and so I feel a bit awkward going around with unstyled hair and ungroomed eyebrows!

RingoFlamingo Wed 09-Sep-20 07:47:11

The thing I found most unsettling was the smell. After we'd unpacked etc every time I came home for a month or so I was hit by the fact it just didn't smell like my house. It wasn't bad, just not right. Can you get some familiar scents wafting around?

FollowYourOwnNorthStar Wed 09-Sep-20 08:11:34

About 2 months or so? I was SO unsettled to start with, even though I loved the house and waS so happy, it just felt so big and not like home at all. I used to retreat to my bedroom and shut the door, and try and forget about the rest of the house! The bedroom was the first room fully unpacked and so was the mostly “homey”.

But I kept on with the unpacking and buying new furniture and decluttering etc to make everything I had fit into this home, and suddenly one I day I walked in and felt very glad to be “home”. It had snuck up on me.

But I remember being where you were.....honestly, it does feel more like your place soon!

Lurchermom Wed 09-Sep-20 15:53:36

I'd prioritise getting stuff up on the wall, I know it sounds tiny but it really helps to make a house feel like home.
Otherwise just keep working through the boxes, the more times you find a home for each item, the more the house will slot into place as 'yours'.
Otherwise, can we swap? I'm in the process of buying a lovely semi, but I'd happily swap for an old house, an aga and some goats...

RedStreetMonument Wed 09-Sep-20 20:49:10


The thing I found most unsettling was the smell. After we'd unpacked etc every time I came home for a month or so I was hit by the fact it just didn't smell like my house. It wasn't bad, just not right. Can you get some familiar scents wafting around?

This! It was the smell for me, took ages before it finally smelled like 'us'!

SweatyBetty20 Thu 10-Sep-20 07:55:05

Smell for me too. Solved it by drying washing in the house that had been washed with a little more fabric conditioner than usual.

BoogleMcGroogle Thu 10-Sep-20 08:07:29

Oh yes, the smell! Outside smells occasionally of horse, which is odd to me. The utility room smells very much of dog. I've put a couple of nice Reed diffusers about the house just so I know what smell to expect in each room.

I've taken the advice of putting stuff up on the walls and that makes a huge difference. Also, putting familiar curtains up. They don't really fit and won't be forever, but the familiarity is very comforting.

OP’s posts: |
marigoldsmarigolds Thu 10-Sep-20 08:32:41

I moved into a house with an Aga last year - also terrified! I bought a couple of books which explained it a bit, and booked onto an Aga cooking course. I love it now and wouldn't be without it. Good luck with the new place - as another poster said the homely feeling kind of creeps up on you. Christmas definitely helps.

Ghislainedefeligonde Thu 10-Sep-20 16:52:11

Aga cookery course a good idea. It took my dh a good 6 months to get used to ours but he loves it now

Dogsgowoofwoof Thu 10-Sep-20 16:59:52

We’ve been in ours almost 9 months and I’d say the last couple of months I’ve finally started to settle.
We’ve started some work on it which is making it feel more like ours.

Babdoc Thu 10-Sep-20 17:06:16

Loved mine from even before we moved in, in 1983!
DH and I were leaving a slum tenement flat we’d rented as students, and moving to our detached forever home with garden, central heating, hot water and bathrooms - all missing in our slum!
After years with just one cold tap, a Victorian toilet, (but no bath or shower), dry rot in the ceiling, mice in the kitchen, rags stuffed in the gaps round the windows to keep the snow out, pipes freezing every winter, huddling round a paraffin stove for warmth - we couldn’t wait to revel in modern comforts! The house felt like ours from the minute we viewed the particulars from the estate agent. I’ve loved it ever since, even though DH died young and I raised our DC here alone. I have lovely memories of him here.

UsernameN0Tavailable Thu 10-Sep-20 20:35:43

Took at least 6 months despite loving the house and knowing I wanted to live there a long time. I knew it felt like home when I was home alone and felt comfortable going for a wee without shutting the bathroom door grin

Burnthurst187 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:24:55

Not until we did some decorating so at least one year

ApplestheHare Thu 10-Sep-20 21:50:40

We've been in ours for 3.5 years and I still don't feel like it's home, but we haven't decorated and still have all the old owners' furniture and decor in place so that's probably why. I can't wait to make some changes.

carly2803 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:57:58

2 years. because i did not make it "mine"enough when i moved in. I had a to do list and i should have done it when i arrived, then it would have been a few months to settle.

i got there - i love this house! for now....

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