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Advice for settling into new area...?

(4 Posts)
PastaFasool Mon 31-Aug-20 15:29:39

Any advice gratefully appreciated

After years of talking about moving out of London, me and DH and toddler DS moved to a new city at the beginning of 2020. I'm contractor, a company I previously worked for moved down here, and offered me a job in a different team after my maternity leave. Me and DH were really excited to move, it's a city where I went to uni and we knew a few people so thought it could be a good change.

However, for various reasons, it's been a really tough year. DH is a SAHD but all the awesome child-related activities we'd researched in our new area are on hold at the moment. My job with the client went really badly at first after maternity, luckily the client moved me onto a new team which is going better but my confidence is pretty low afterwards. We moved to be halfway between our two families, but in fact we've not been able to really see DH's family much because of their health conditions.

I'm feeling really lonely and isolated, and feeling really insecure about my job. Staying in London wasn't an option because DH's asthma was getting so bad he got hospitalised once, and I don't miss London but I miss having friends and family nearby.

My contract is due for renewal in January, and I don't know whether to stay in this city if it gets renewed, or to move closer to friends and family. A bunch of my closest friends moved back to where I grew up in SE England around the time they had kids, and live close to each other and also my parents. Jobs in my sector are going more remote so we might have some options about where to live, especially as we're renting at the moment.

I feel like we moved to this city for a lifestyle that's not possible these days, can't decide whether to stick it out, or move closer to friends and family and not be so lonely.

Any advice?

OP’s posts: |
Dinosauraddict Tue 01-Sep-20 06:57:23

To be honest I wouldn't make any decisions during a global pandemic. No-one is currently having the lifestyle they want anywhere...

PastaFasool Tue 01-Sep-20 09:01:54

@Dinosauraddict yes, you're quite right. I didn't express that very well about the lifestyle thing - I think I meant, maybe I've realised how much more important family and friends are, during the pandemic? And how much less important other things are in comparison?

OP’s posts: |
Dinosauraddict Tue 01-Sep-20 09:22:52

A lot of people will say it takes 1-2 years to really settle in a place so I'd always advise people to take some time even outside of a pandemic. I agree that a lot of people's priorities have changed re things like family being so important, but even if you'd lived 5 mins away from DP's parents I'd they're shielding from health conditions you wouldn't have seen them anyway. I think particularly when you've got kids, you should try and provide some stability where possible and not keep moving them. Possibly an unpopular opinion but I was in my third home before I was 4 and it does have an impact on children imo.

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