New fence what to do?

[Stressedmummyof4]

Hi thanks for reading, we live in a council property, joined on to a bought house for context.

When we moved in the fence between the two properties was still the original local authority one with the random thin straps joined with wire type, it was heavily leaning to the one side.

I have a son who is autistic and is only allowed in the garden to play, I'm the first to hold my hand up and say he can be a pain in the ass and his mealtdowns are exhausting, when ever I see one coming on I try my best to get him inside.

Anyway, a fortnight ago my neighbor had a load of wood delivered and took out the shred fence and replaced with a lovely big 6ft High one, it's great for us as my son is getting to the age where he is an escape artist and he can easily let it over the old one.

She hasn't really been talking to us, I think we irritate her and her older kids. We normally head to our caravan for the summer so that my kids get a break but also so that we're not so full on for my neighbors over the summer holidays. Unfortunately this year that's not been possible, whilst I have tried my best to keep them quiet it's really difficult with my son.

I think possibly she has come to the end of her tether with us, I was sitting out on my patio one night with my mum enjoying an evening of peace whilst the kids were asleep and someone in a house over the back was having a party but she came out and has a go at us for music, when we explained we didn't have any on it was another house she just went in and closed the door, didn't really apologise for having a go at us

So my actual question here is what is etiquette with the fence? Should I be painting it at my side? Am I allowed to? Would I be allowed to hand say a solar light on it? Or is it a no go completely? I'm guessing it will need painted or it will rot? So will I just need to wait and see what she paints it with then do the rest of my fences in the same colour?

Thanks if you've read this far

[Amijustagrump]

Similar situation (as in we own and next door council) and we recently put up a new fence. The neighbours asked if they could paint their side and we were more shocked they asked! We said of course and actually decided to paint our side the same colour for ease. You aren't meant to attach anything to a fence you don't own so based on your neighbour sounding a bit grumpy I would avoid doing that!

[Rollercoaster1920]

Officially it's not yours. Don't touch it.

You could ask you neighbour whether you could hang a light on it, or attach wires to grow plants up it. But given the apparent animosity then probably best to just leave well alone.

[Stressedmummyof4]

I think I'll leave it .

I'm sad it's kind of came to this, I always thought we were quite good neighbors given we can be a noisy house during the day there is not a peep out my house after 9 during the week and probably 10 on a weekend. We don't party, literally don't have the energy . I take in all parcels for them and try to make small talk when I see them but I can actually feel the irritation from them. So I'm just going to leave it now.

I just hope if they decide to paint it on my side it's not an awful colour 😩

Thank you for your replies!

[Stressedmummyof4]

@Amijustagrump when my dad redone all his fences years back his neighbors on both sides didn't ask they just went ahead painted and hung stuff on them. I'm absolutely grateful for the fence, I think I was just a wee bit when she hadn't actually mentioned she was pulling the shared fence down and replacing it she just done it, I tried to talk to her the other day and said the fence was lovely but I did have to mention that when the guys had done it they had left a big gap at the back of my garden which now allowed my son to get out I asked if she would be able to get them to close it over again and I think this has made things worse now