Neighbour angry at us re fence. I have to move, don't I?

[TheBeesKnee]

Only slightly exaggerating. I think my neighbour hates me. Previous owners planted 6 trees in a very small garden, some of which were pushing the fence. They were also unhappy with leaves falling into their property. We removed 2 small trees ourselves but there are 4 big ones left still.

Then in January our builder left some materials leaning towards up against the fence and they claim he "broke" it. It did look bowed but then when he returned post lockdown he just pulled the fence a bit and now it looks straight again.

Latest issue is so stupid that I I don't even know how to put it. There is a post on our side which bangs against theirs when there is wind or anything. Our washing line was attached to this. DP was beating a rug out and the banging was a bit loud admittedly. Neighbour ran out into the garden and shouted at him to stop breaking her fence. Wouldn't listen that it was just a bit of wood smacking up against it and nothing was actually damaged. So DP took the washing line down and I apologised.

I can hear her ranting about it on the phone now, she sounds FURIOUS.

I've told DP we should cut our losses and just sell the house. There's no way forward, is there? I've read enough loopy threads on here.

[TheBeesKnee]

I'm only half joking. I think.

[Lemonylemony]

Um, you do sound a little careless/disrespectful of your neighbour’s property?

Perhaps just stop pushing in/banging stuff against her fence?

Anyway, you can’t move now, you’d have to declare a possible neighbour dispute

[Thisismytimetoshine]

God, just behave. If your dh new he was clanging her fence he should have had the nous to just stop.

[dementedpixie]

Stop doing things that could damage the fence and you should all get on ok

[SpookyNoise]

If he was banging the pole against her fence deliberately, then that’s just rude of him, and she has every right to be angry.

Moving forward, take the pole down and reposition your washing line somewhere else.

[AnnieMaul]

To be fair, I can see where they're coming from. Our arsehole ex-neighbours left a load of stuff resting on our fence, which bowed it and this led to it breaking next time there was some very strong wind. Once it's bowed it's much easier to break. It really pissed me off too.

It's frustrating to try and have nice things only for others to damage them and not see the big deal. I appreciate that you weren't actually damaging it, but once the frustration is there with a neighbour it doesn't take much.

[TheBeesKnee]

SpookyNoise

If he was banging the pole against her fence deliberately, then that’s just rude of him, and she has every right to be angry.

That's not quite what happened.

There is a post on our side with a few bits if wood on it. It's made of concrete. I think it's where the fence used to be. There is another post on her side, to which the fence is attached.

Our washing line is attached to the first post, and when you put anything on the line and the wind blows it makes the boards rattle against the fence, but it's not actually damaging anything.

[AnotherMarshmallow]

Could you remove the wood from the post so it doesn't bang? I can sympathise with your neighbour to be honest - fences can be expensive to replace and repair.

[Aquamarine1029]

Why don't you just move the post? Problem solved.

[Grottyfeet]

Neighbour is right. You've told this story from your POV and you still sound v unreasonable.

[Grottyfeet]

If using the fence post to support a washing line makes it wobble, it must be doing damage.

[JoJoSM2]

Sorry but even the unnecessary rattling sounds annoying. Why make noise when you don’t need to? Did you beat the rug out at a reasonable time in the day?

I think I’d just reposition your line and not have random stuff resting against the fence.

If you’ve got trees, then I think it’s reasonable as long as they aren’t growing into the fence. Any parts over their garden they have the right to cut. And if leaves get blown over into their garden then tough luck.

[OneMoreLight]

You need to get a separate pole to attach your washing line to. You can get metal ones.

[Darkestseasonofall]

She probably does hate you, you and DH sound a bit entitled really.
Leave the bloody fence alone.

[Bemorechicken]

Personally I would go around and say "Listen really sorry about the fence & trees. The trees were here when we moved it. We are going to get them removed, it's a small garden. Our builder left stuff up against the fence -no wonder you are pissed off as he and we didn't remove it. He has done it now. The banging is the post clanging the fence -we will concrete it is by next week" Here's a bottle of wine and sorry we've pissed you off.

Take the wind out of their sails. Because I would have been pissed off with you with all of that too..............

[TheBeesKnee]

Aquamarine1029

Why don't you just move the post? Problem solved.

Well, it's concreted into the ground so we can't. There's nowhere else to attach it, but we're looking into putting a new mental post as suggested by OneMoreLight.

[LIZS]

If your post bashes into theirs in spite of the concrete it can't be very well set.

[TheMandalorian]

Just burn the fence down. Problem solved. Oh no wait.. not that.
Yep just pop round with a bottle/ home made cake and apologise. Say the trees are being sorted when you can afford it, etc.