Husband away on moving date - feeling overwhelmed!(19 Posts)
Looks like we'll be completing at the end of the month. My husband goes away (abroad) in a week which means he will be away the week leading up to the move, during the move and the week after. We're going to get packers in with the removals so I don't need to worry about packing but I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with the enormity of it all, especially with a very active 16 month old in tow.
There's so much to be sorted through before we go (to be chucked or charity), plus actually moving into a new house, finding out where it all is and how it works, plus trying to unpack. I can't wait to get into the house and it's in the local area, but it's just everything else like sorting out the utilities at both ends/internet etc and of course unpacking.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Can you get somebody to look after the toddler on moving day? If so, do it!
The utilities etc can be sorted prior to moving day, you just need to tell your suppliers. Make sure you take a picture of meters in both houses to close and open accounts.
Most things can be dealt with remotely - online or over the phone. Hubby doesn't get to avoid pulling his weight just cos he's not physically there! He can call / email utilities and get them sorted, arrange postal redirection etc.
You are having movers so honestly you have very minimal work to do on the day. Just make sure everything is clearly labelled (including which boxes are to go in which rooms when you get there). Make sure you have one kitchen box full of essentials and a box of bedding/toiletries clearly marked, so on day one you can just unpack those if necessary.
If you don't have time to do a charity sort before you move, it's not the end of the world. Do it when the pressure is off and you are settled.
Without being harsh, military wives are doing this alone every day of the year... often repeatedly. It's not rocket science, you just need to buckle down and get organised. Google military posting checklist and you'll find lots of helpful stuff!!
Yes see if someone else can look after DC on moving day. Is there someone you can stay with for a night or two? It would take the pressure off having to get sorted in the new place.
If you have packers they really do everything. It's good if they can reassemble too. Pack a weekend bag and kitchen supplies in the car.
Be ruthless in getting rid of stuff! Read Marie Kondo!
I did it, although my kids were 5 and 12 at that time. It was nerve-wracking no doubt, but I had some good movers (did majority of the packing myself) and they helped me out a lot. In the end I paid some extra cash to reassemble my beds etc in the new house. However I had to be extremely organised, sorted out ALL utilities and had knew exactly where in the new house each furniture or boxes should go.
Thanks everyone. Yes my mum will be able to look after my son on moving day which is a big help! I think I'll actually try and camp out at hers a couple of nights either side of the move. Shortgreengiraffe like you say, it will take the pressure off.
Yogaandwine yes you're right. I need to get a grip - I'm just a bit of a worrier! Will have a look at those check lists. Great idea.
I just can't believe how much 'stuff' we've got!
Pack a suitcase with essential clothes toiletries and stuff as if you were camping for a week - duvet pillows sheets etc to make up the bed. Essential kitchen stuff. Cleaning stuff.
Then the packers will do everything else and you can relax
Just think of a labelling system if your new house is a different layout to the old eg where will the loft stuff go
Is bedroom 1 in the old house bedroom 1 in the new house etc
They will unload to the rooms youtell them so don't be afraid to go round after them labelling to the new rooms as they pack the boxes
Does your new house have an attached/integrated garage? I got the movers to put all the boxes not marked kitchen and our bedrooms (labelled 1 and 3 from old house) in the garage so we could declutter etc at leisure (move all came about rather quickly and no time off for either of us and toddler).
Pack a bag (don't forget shoes) for you and your ds to cover 4 days, plus a box of cups, plates, cutlery for the two of you, and your bedding and put it in the car before the packers come - they are like locusts! We also took airbeds so we didn't have to put the beds together that night.
You'll need a plan of both houses with room names/numbers marked on, and where you want the boxes to go - so for instance living room goes in new conservatory, bedroom 1 goes in study or whatever.
Then just stand at the front door of the new house and tell them what to do with each thing
Surely your dh can arrange the switch of utilities and internet etc while he's away though? Its all online now, so can be done whatever the timezone
We don't have a garage as it's been converted but we will mainly be using the kitchen diner to live in initially so that's a great idea - I might get them to put all none essentials in the lounge.
What do you do with your fridge/freezer stuff if you have packers? Do you try and finish it all before the packers arrive or do they have a way of transporting frozen stuff?
I did this. You will be fine. The packers are wonderful and do loads.
You don't need to put pressure on yourself to get rid of stuff now, just do it when you unpack - if there isn't a home, get rid.
Make sure packers will reassemble flatpack stuff - some charge extra, we were lucky & ours did it all as part of the main job.
Why not pack yourselves clothes for the time your dh is away - then worst case if you don't get anything at all unpacked you've still got the bare essentials.
It will be easier than you think though.
We took the freezer stuff out in the morning and put it outside (moved in October so reasonably cold). Packers packed a fridge box and it got back in the fridge as soon as we were in the new place.
A tip I got from Kirstie and Phill: when you get to the new place stick a large sign on each door with the room name. In an empty house it's hard to tell what's a dining room and what's a lounge let alone which is bedroom 1 and which is 2.
Try to get as much as possible in the correct room as it will help later.
When you start unpacking, try to have one or two rooms which are nice and not full of boxes. Ideally the living room and your bedroom. Don't dump anything in there - get it nice and keep it nice then when the rest of the house is in turmoil you have somewhere to retreat to.
And the golden rule of unpacking: make your bed first.
Cool bags for your freezer/fridge stuff
Online food shop with basics for first few days - schedule this to arrive on day 1.
Obvious, but keep a box or bag of necessities separate - kettle/few mugs/etc etc
Beds built and made up first, bathroom and kitchen basics next.
Suitcase of clothes for you and DC for first few days.
Nappy kit to hand!
I just moved on my own with DC (4 and 2). They were so over excited but equally bored. Download plenty on an iPad or tablet if your DC are at all amused by it. Our TV and internet has taken over 10 days to set up. Favourite toys kept out.
Almost all utilities can be done online before move in date. Set up DDs and you're virtually all set. Change your bank details on day 1 too if you can.
Good luck and enjoy your new place!
Packers do make a big difference- i moved twice in 18mths with a 2 and 4 year old and did nothing really. My tips are:
Start decluttering tomorrow and be ruthless- it doesn't really matter for the move but makes a huge difference when it comes to unpacking.
I packed a couple of suitcase for us as if we were going on a week long holiday with everything we would normally take inc a few toys and books. These went in the car with us and then into the new bedrooms. We just lived out these for 3 or 4 days and focused on unpacking the house stuff, with the clothes last. It removed a lot of stress.
It will be fine - use your mum for support.
No advice but just a wave of my pom-poms and the reassurance that you CAN do this!
Dh and I have moved house 3 times. First time he was away so with 2 friends and a van, I moved us, bought new furniture and built it.
Second time was day after dc1 was born by ELCS. We had movers do it all for obvious reasons! The first 2 moves were relatively local to each other.
Third time dh was already working where we moving to - a several hundred mile relocation - dc were then 8, 6, 3 and 9mths. Again we got packers in and dc and I spent our last night in the old house with sleeping bags on the floor as the movers finished packing around lunchtime (after a couple of days) then left!
For each move I was unbelievably anxious/worried/scared before hand that I couldn’t do it. But each time it has all happened without major incident. You’ll be fine
Definitely the online food shop! We ran down our fridge and freezer in the run-up to the move, chucked a few bits into a cool bag on the day, and then the online shop with all the fresh essentials turned up at 1700 .
If there's likely to be a gap in internet provision, get a mifi dongle from Three with a 20gb sim to tide you over till you get set up - that saved my life when I moved last year.
I've self moved twice with my OH away (joys of being RAF!) 2nd time was hard, but my MIL had my 16month old and my brother helped me load & unload the van. Never again!
Oh gosh, you poor thing! Get as much help as you can - a packing service, childcare on the days itself, support from friends and family. Don't worry about sorting through everything before you move - just shift stuff, and then go through it when you have more time at the other end.
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