Talk

Get a builder round to give you a quote for putting things right.

No more bitch jobs. Thus would seriously piss me off too.

Who owns the house?

Looks like it will fall on you to sort the house out. First thing clearly is to sort out the damp. Where is water getting in from ?
Could be A leaking pipe , gutters or the roof.
Though clearly your relationship is another bigger issue. When you say 'my kitchen ' 'my bedroom' is bit of a view into your relationship.
Good luck with both.

He needs to stop being a baby, forget his ego, man up and get the fucking house sorted!!

When he 'goes mad' you stand right up to him and tell him he's being stupid and tell him firmly that it needs to be sorted.

I'm living in a similar situation but the difference for me is we moved into the house recently knowing it was a doer upper. If my partner had actually caused the mess and then left it I would be LIVID!

I would suggest:
- talk to him about why he's ground to a halt. Is he overwhelmed or out of his depth and doesn't want to admit it?
- if he fine and has just run out of steam then set him a deadline by which he needs to have completed certain jobs and if not you will get someone in to quote and complete it.
- before you have above chat prioritise the jobs so he knows what order to work in or so you know what to get done first
- perhaps you could help him with some jobs? Eg for the holes in the wall you could YouTube tutorials on patch plastering as if you fill in most of the hole then smooth and sand it down a plasterer can finish it off so it's neat and you save on cost

Thanks everyone. I think it's just become too much at the moment. I can't stand to even look at all the mess. I know I'm going to end up having to get it sorted it's just I've already sank £40k of my own savings into this "project" and I'm not willing to spend anymore now that he has completely destroyed the place.
I say "my" bedroom etc. Because he used to work away all week and would only be home at weekends so I guess I see it more as my house than his. Plus he does absolutely nothing to help out (will finish a packet of crisps then throw the packet on the floor) - Yes it's that bad!
It's just getting me down now, We had a mouse in the house last year because of all the building work and I think we might have another one, I hate living here. Guess it's all down to me now though.

Erm, are you sure shouldn't get rid of your partner permanently?? Throwing crisp packets on the floor, is he 4 years old?

Looks like you'll be spending a lot of money fixing his atrocious work. Sorry, this will be expensive!

There's never just the one mouse. They've set up house and had babies by now. There must be a million holes in your home they could get through, if it's a botched job.

Get pest control in.

What a nightmare! Frankly, I’d dump someone over sth like that. I’d probably seek some legal advice as to where you stand with covering the costs of putting things right. The house doesn’t just sound awful but a health hazard. Whether he’s sulking or not, I’d get builders in to quote and crack on if you’re financially able to.

Have you anyone to talk to? He sounds worse for your health than the mould.

Don’t give him any more money, he is out of his depth.

i agree with everyone else. lose the partner! you don't have to wait until he decides to leave. he won't. you have the power too - tell him it's over and to get his sorry lazy arse out of your house.

What has he put into it? how much money?

............ and it doesn't sound like he will have got building regs sign off either so you do need to get it sorted. Good luck - sounds like it's not going to be easy.