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Partner has ruined our house!

(13 Posts)
Notperfect72 Wed 11-Oct-17 09:19:42

We bought our house last year off my aunty, we had been renting it for two years previous so we're already living there. My partner had planned to knock down the half extension on the back to build a full extension on our kitchen. Anyway a year on and the new extension looks ok but has mould everywhere (really bad mould and damp) from him doing the roof wrong. We had the house re-wired but he decided to chizzle the walls out himself leaving holes all over my house. I have plaster off in my bedroom, No carpet (just new floorboards he insited insisted on buying) I have wires hanging out everywhere. My kitchen sink isn't Plummed in and the water goes into a bucket underneath.
Now he's stopped. Just completely stopped doing anything. He won't fix the roof or the sink or finish my kitchen or bedroom. We have a shower room that has become storage. He has just left everything and won't do anymore work. I have asthma and my child sometimes has bouts of it too so the mould is making us very ill. If I suggest getting someone on to do the work he just gets mad at me. I don't know what to do as it's making me really depressed I hate my house. I wish we had never bought it. I now hate him to for doing all of this. I wish he would just run off with someone else and leave me to get things sorted. I wish I earnt enough money to just leave and move me and my daughter to a nice house! sad

2014newme Wed 11-Oct-17 09:21:29

Get a builder round to give you a quote for putting things right.

No more bitch jobs. Thus would seriously piss me off too.

Who owns the house?

Chickencellar Wed 11-Oct-17 10:03:40

Looks like it will fall on you to sort the house out. First thing clearly is to sort out the damp. Where is water getting in from ?
Could be A leaking pipe , gutters or the roof.
Though clearly your relationship is another bigger issue. When you say 'my kitchen ' 'my bedroom' is bit of a view into your relationship.
Good luck with both.

HolgerDanske Wed 11-Oct-17 10:06:41

He needs to stop being a baby, forget his ego, man up and get the fucking house sorted!!

When he 'goes mad' you stand right up to him and tell him he's being stupid and tell him firmly that it needs to be sorted.

Note3 Wed 11-Oct-17 10:06:42

I'm living in a similar situation but the difference for me is we moved into the house recently knowing it was a doer upper. If my partner had actually caused the mess and then left it I would be LIVID!

I would suggest:
- talk to him about why he's ground to a halt. Is he overwhelmed or out of his depth and doesn't want to admit it?
- if he fine and has just run out of steam then set him a deadline by which he needs to have completed certain jobs and if not you will get someone in to quote and complete it.
- before you have above chat prioritise the jobs so he knows what order to work in or so you know what to get done first
- perhaps you could help him with some jobs? Eg for the holes in the wall you could YouTube tutorials on patch plastering as if you fill in most of the hole then smooth and sand it down a plasterer can finish it off so it's neat and you save on cost

Notperfect72 Wed 11-Oct-17 15:03:03

Thanks everyone. I think it's just become too much at the moment. I can't stand to even look at all the mess. I know I'm going to end up having to get it sorted it's just I've already sank £40k of my own savings into this "project" and I'm not willing to spend anymore now that he has completely destroyed the place.
I say "my" bedroom etc. Because he used to work away all week and would only be home at weekends so I guess I see it more as my house than his. Plus he does absolutely nothing to help out (will finish a packet of crisps then throw the packet on the floor) - Yes it's that bad!
It's just getting me down now, We had a mouse in the house last year because of all the building work and I think we might have another one, I hate living here. Guess it's all down to me now though.

Whatthefoxgoingon Wed 11-Oct-17 15:41:15

Erm, are you sure shouldn't get rid of your partner permanently?? Throwing crisp packets on the floor, is he 4 years old?

Looks like you'll be spending a lot of money fixing his atrocious work. Sorry, this will be expensive! flowers

Whatthefoxgoingon Wed 11-Oct-17 15:42:37

There's never just the one mouse. They've set up house and had babies by now. There must be a million holes in your home they could get through, if it's a botched job.

Get pest control in.

JoJoSM2 Wed 11-Oct-17 20:09:28

What a nightmare! Frankly, I’d dump someone over sth like that. I’d probably seek some legal advice as to where you stand with covering the costs of putting things right. The house doesn’t just sound awful but a health hazard. Whether he’s sulking or not, I’d get builders in to quote and crack on if you’re financially able to.

3luckystars Wed 11-Oct-17 20:12:51

Have you anyone to talk to? He sounds worse for your health than the mould.

Don’t give him any more money, he is out of his depth.

eddielizzard Thu 12-Oct-17 20:58:27

i agree with everyone else. lose the partner! you don't have to wait until he decides to leave. he won't. you have the power too - tell him it's over and to get his sorry lazy arse out of your house.

picklemepopcorn Thu 12-Oct-17 21:05:27

What has he put into it? how much money?

GU24Mum Fri 13-Oct-17 08:53:45

............ and it doesn't sound like he will have got building regs sign off either so you do need to get it sorted. Good luck - sounds like it's not going to be easy.

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