Is this idea absurd?(22 Posts)
I recently posted on here about a cheating husband who was filing for divorce and at the time agreeing to put our house as he was living with 'someone'. However, he's now admitted to breaking up with her and he suddenly needs a roof over his head.
He's harping on about needing security.
The fact is that the majority of the money in this house is mine. For the past 7 years he's been the sole earner (I've had an still have health issues so unable to work)
And he's been paying into the mortgage. So far he's cleared 30k.
His latest daft idea is that he portions off part of the back of our garden where he built a 'studio' for himself. And split the deeds. Meaning he sells his studio (it sits right at the back of our garden) and he creates a side entrance. He keeps the sale of the studio and the house, now less in value will be in my name.
A lawyer friend of his who lives in knightsbridge advised him to do this. Frankly I think this sort of thing works fine in expensive areas like West London or Highgate, Crouch End where space is limited, but here in the suburbs it's just stupid.
Families move into my street because it's sandwiched between 2 good schools. I'm not sure they'd be happy sharing part of the back garden with some creep who's bought a single studio just beyond the garden they're children are playing in.
That's my view. Maybe I'm too cynical. My friend says it's worth a shot if it means he'll back off and leave me alone after this.
What do you think?
** beginning paragraph should read: he agreed to put the house into my name "
Ask his lawyer friend if he can erect a tent in his garden instead.
Why the fuck would you agree to him being on your property and so in your face?? Literally if you were in the garden!!
You probably wouldn't even get planning permission.
He wants to be right on your doorstep all the better to worm his way back into your life
Would he even get planning permission for this?
Do you have any savings or is all of your money tied up in the house? If at all possible, it would be better to try to buy out any interest he has wouldn't it? Although I appreciate that a remortgage is probably impossible if you are unable to work.
Was his original suggestion of signing the house over to you ever agreed via solicitors? Or was it just a verbal agreement?
He won't actually sell the studio, he'll just stay living in it
Just tell him straight - it's a no from mners.
My grandparents did something similar when they wanted to downsize , sold their big house and built a small one in their garden/orchard which they now live in. A friend also had a small dwelling (like a static caravan) in her garden where the former owner of the big house had lived in as a tenant after he sold it to the owners before my friends dad bought it and asked him to leave. But these were both huge huge gardens, I doubt you'd be able to do it in your average suburban garden, especially not if he wants it as a separate dwelling in law with its own entrance etc. Does he really think you will agree to having him living at the bottom of the garden? There's no privacy for either of you and it would be confusing for any DC that their dad isn't living in the house but is still effectively as he would be so nearby. Also the cost of building it would surely wipe out any equity he has in the house and potentially reducing its value by splitting the garden. I don't think his plan will be able to come to fruition, especially not if you object. Could you possibly buy him out?
Thanks for the replies everyone. Didn't make myself clear: he wants to partition this property and split the deeds - he 'owns' the studio in the garden then sells it and pockets the money. So basically, he wants money upfront.
I don't have the means to buy him out. I can't work. I suffered a brain haemorrhage 5 years ago with lasting effects and now have a permanent inflammatory bladder condition that more or less pins me to the loo.
Our garden is huge but anyone, absolutely anyone could 'buy' the flat at the back. It could really disturb the peace and quiet of this place and intrude on our privacy, fence or no fence.
Original idea (agreeing to put the house in my name) was a verbal 5 minute commitment...
Can you sell the house and get a smaller one? If you can't work how will you be able to afford to keep the house on an ongoing basis?
I could but it'd be so tragic - our house is so conveniently located for both primary (DD) school and secondary... my son has just got into the secondary school up the road, it would have been so easy in terms of childcare to let them walk to school, rather than me driving them in every day. We'd have to move quite far out or into a squashy flat so that he can have his money upfront.
It just all seems so unfair. Feel like I'm drowning.
Oh bugger . I can completely understand why you don't want to sell up.
Have any of the neighbours done anything similar? In terms of splitting the garden and building a new property in part of it? Do you know the neighbours that this would affect? If so, do you think they would object to the planning application?
I think I'd be pinning my hopes on the planning permission being refused TBH. I wonder if there's anyone who could give you advice on what the probably outcome would be?
If you can't get planning permission & can't buy him out, what can he do? He can't force a sale whilst his DCs are living in the home can he? He may force you to sell when the DCs are older, but hopefully not just now.
No one has done anything remotely similar in this area Santas, it's a completely different mentality to what goes on in non - suburban areas.
Yes, I think he'd possibly be refused planning permission. But then he's going to be on my back because somehow he wants the capital upfront as well as the divorce.
Would there be room and access to section off part of your garden and build a proper family home there? Very common around here and you wouldn't have the same concerns about who lives there (in theory!)
I think you really need to see a solicitor or financial adviser and work out a way you can keep the house.
If you have dependent children and don't have any income - I can't see a court forcing the sale of the house to give him a bit of equity.
Thanks all. I think I need to see a solicitor too.
Good luck, hope something suitable can be worked out.
You need to see a solicitor but in a situation where you can't sfford to buy him out you may find there is no alternative but to downsize either now or possibly when any children have turned 18. Get yourself a good family lawyer. If you are hsppy to say where you are based (by pm if you'd prefer) I msy be able to recommend one!
Thanks, I'll pm you. It's all very sad. The Children come first in my opinion...
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