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Made an offer on a house I love and now having doubts ...

(20 Posts)
ilovelamp2 Mon 03-Apr-17 10:35:23

I'll try and keep this short and to th spoilt without missing anything out! We live in a nice village at the moment and need to move to get daughter into high school albeit in 5 years time but want to do it sooner rather than later so that we feel settled. Thought we would have to move out of village to get into catchment but have found a lovely house on the other side of the village which is in catchment. Right number of bedrooms, not massive upstairs but big enough for us three and has a big newly fitted bathroom which I love.

Things it has from our wish list
Big, light and airy hallway (our stairs currently come off the lounge and I hate it!)
Large kitchen/dining/family room - high spec kitchen with quartz worktops and integrated appliances.
Bifold doors into back garden
Down stairs loo
Separate living room - bay window - gas fire
Front and back garden
In catchment - main point!
Well within budget and needs no work.

But ...
Back garden is smaller than we would have liked - north facing but bungalows on either side and garage is one storey to the side so it does get the sun - have visited at different time s of the day to check.
It is not in a culdesac - quiet road so she could still scoot about outside if she wanted to.

And ....
The bit that I think I am struggling with and I'm quite ashamed to say it is that unknown to anyone but my husband and I, we have 25 thousand on credit cards which we could pay off entirely with the profit from our current house and still have enough left to do something clever with the garden. The thought of this makes me very happy but I think to other people they expect us to be able to afford more t we actually can. I did think we might get a doer upper but when we crunch the numbers we really would struggle and the last thing we want is more debt...

Added to this is the fact that my husband contact is changing in November and he will take a pay cut of 250 pounds a month. With this house, we wouldn't notice it but again, only we know this. Shown friends photos and had loads of positive feedback but my dad seems quite disappointed and that is throwing me a bit. Silly, I know. Finally, he has recently been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer so his/my head is all over the place!

Any thoughts, comments gratefully recieved as can't really give all the details to anyone else, apart from husband obviously who bless him, is so pleased with what we've found.

hotwater Mon 03-Apr-17 10:41:35

Sounds perfect for what you want and need. Sorry to hear about your dad but don't let what you are perceiving to be his disappointment colour what seems to be a perfect move for you - especially since he hasn't all the facts.

Passmethecrisps Mon 03-Apr-17 10:43:39

It sounds perfect really. Do 't let other people's expectations get in the way of what works for you.

And I am sorry to hear about your dad

Notyetthere Mon 03-Apr-17 11:01:16

Do what is best for your family. Sounds like this is the perfect house for your family. Don't allow others to influence your decision just because they don't like it. They are not the ones that are going to live in it. You should only worry about opinions of people who make a contribution to that household, i.e. pay towards the mortgage, other debts and bills. others will have to accept your decision.

And the fact that this new house will enable you to clear a huge chunk of your debts is a brilliant thing. I say you should go ahead with your plans. Your dad won't love you any less because you didn't buy the house he liked. It is not going to be his home. I never liked any of the houses my friends bought but I understand why they picked those homes and they are happy in them, which is the main thing.

Riderontheswarm Mon 03-Apr-17 11:04:43

It really does sound ideal. All that worry about money gone. That's worth so much. Also it has everything you need. The is no point in getting a bigger house just to impress people if you don't need one even if you could afford it, which you can't without worrying.

SuperRainbows Mon 03-Apr-17 11:09:59

Go for it. Sounds lovely and you would be debt free!
You're perceiving what others think/will think. It's nobody's business anyway.
Do what's right for your family.

ilovelamp2 Mon 03-Apr-17 11:27:37

Firstly, apologies for the typos in my post - at work and typing too quickly at break time! Reading your replies back is definitely helping to reassure me. I think I am confusing the two issues - moving house and my dad's health. Such a lot going on. And yes, they don't have all the facts and I would hate my dad to know them anyway - he would just worry even more.

Similarly, or 6 year old daughter doesn't need to know all the facts either - it would make no sense to her anyway. She does know about the school issue though and is pleased that she will be nearer her cousins and that they will all go to the same school. We really wanted to involve her in the move but this house came up on Friday night (I may have knocked on the door ...) we viewed it on Saturday morning and then drove straight to the estate agent to make the offer, all whilst she was at my parents! She hasn't seen the house yet but will arrange another viewing. Am a bit worried that she will be disappointed by the back garden as it is quite a bit smaller than the one we'd have now, which isn't huge anyway but I guess it's just what she's used to. So silly to feel like I'm being selfish wanting the swanky kitchen and bathroom and sacrificing a bit of play space in the garden - the whole reason we're moving is actually for her anyway!

Being 'debt free' will be life changing. We're so cross with ourselves for not facing up to this earlier in life and it feels like we could 'redeem' ourselves with this house, if that makes sense?! I'm quite surprised with myself to be honest, for caring so much about what other people think. I didn't think it would mattter but it sort of crept up on me, I guess.

Thank you for your reassurances and for not telling me off about the debt situation! I will try and actually get some work done now!

dontcallmelen Mon 03-Apr-17 14:01:24

Hi Op, sorry to hear about your dad please do not underestimate the feeling of not stressing about finances, the house sounds lovely & in a great location, also dd getting older & how much will she really be playing out in the garden, if the Road is safe & cousins nearby.
Enjoy your debt free future & do not worry about what people may or may not be thinking about your choice of new home💐

Kiroro Mon 03-Apr-17 14:04:50

So you are worrying about keeping up appearances re a lifestyle that is debt financed?

Get rid of those thoughts! House sounds lovely.

If anyone makes any comments about it not being as god as they woudl have expected you to afford just say something like "being in catchment was so important / we wanted ot reduce the mortgage and focus on spending more on time with DD / fuck off its none of oyur business"

ilovelamp2 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:33:31

I will remember those responses Kiriro - great! And yes, I can't wait to be debt free. We've learnt our lesson and will not be going down that road again.

Thank you for all the kind words about my dad too. You lot are just lovely.

pinkdelight Mon 03-Apr-17 15:45:38

Echoing all the PPs who say don't let your concerns about other people's opinions cloud your judgement. The house sounds great! And don't forget the garden will seem much bigger to a 6yo. Sure she'll be excited by the new house and won't be noticing any negatives that preoccupy adults.

OlennasWimple Mon 03-Apr-17 15:49:43

If catchment is the main priority, then that's all you need to say to anyone who you feel is doubting your decision

museumum Mon 03-Apr-17 15:53:31

The house sounds great.

The only real worry you seem to have is that other people won't be impressed. That's not sure merging to worry about. If anyone asks tell them it's just perfect for you.

averylongtimeago Mon 03-Apr-17 15:54:10

It sounds perfect. Every thing on your wish list except a huge garden. AND you get rid of your debt/money worries, a win win solution.
Why bother about what anyone else says? If you are feeling polite, just mention the catchment area. If not , tell them to mind their own business.

OVienna Mon 03-Apr-17 16:09:03

This many years out I would be very careful about moving to be in catchment. Is this house ONLY JUST in catchment? Because in our area things have shifted dramatically in five years' time. We do live in a borough of London that has a had a huge population influx. It sounds like this doesn't apply to you but it is something I would bear in mind. Are there any factors in your area that could cause the boundaries to shift?

In your shoes, reducing costs/getting debt free would also be a priority. The move is smart for that reason.

Saraleejunkie Mon 03-Apr-17 16:12:02

It sounds like the house isn't a compromise at all. Right number of bedrooms, kitchen and bathroom are new and to your taste. A downstairs loo which is a great bonus. And to stay in the village you like and right catchment area. If the only downside is a slightly small garden that seems like an okay compromise. Particularly as you can move in and pay off your debts. Go for it! Moving house is scary. I'm in the process of buying a house at the moment and have lots of doubts about the house even though I know it's a gem. I think it's just the stress if it all smile

NewPurrs5 Mon 03-Apr-17 16:15:18

Don't ignore the debt issue further by not buying this house in order to buy something grander and more impressive to the outsiders.

The house sounds great and being debt free that quick is likely a once only chance- do it now, especially if you know things are about to get tighter financially.

Good luck!

ilovelamp2 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:43:53

Good point about catchment but I actually teach in the area and have good inside information on that one so no worries there!

You're all absolutely right - this could be our only chance to sort out our debts.

Good point about the perspective of a 6 year old - hadn't thought of that!
Saw my dad tonight actually and turns out that it's not that he is disappointed in our choice of house - it's that he was hoping we might move closer to them. So sweet. We are only a mile away, bless him. So feeling much better about that side of things.

Feeling excited about it again now!

ilovelamp2 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:45:37

And good luck to everyone who is moving too!

chicka1 Mon 03-Apr-17 21:09:09

You do have quite a lot going on lovelamp and with your dad being ill, that is tough. Sorry to hear. We are also buying a new house and also for same reason - to make the school situation better. My DD is similar age and I think they can get excited by what is done in the garden, so create a new exciting story for it - i.e. we're going to get a sunken trampoline or a new climbing frame fitted - this will turn the garden conversation into something really positive. As others have said, reducing debt is the way to go for sure - well done. Best of luck.

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